The Accidental Love Wrecker

With utmost care, I slowly opened the door to Rev’s office. I’ve been standing outside his room, debating whether I should enter or not. I look stupid going back and forth and mumbling arguments with myself. In the end, I decided to take courage and pushed open the door, since I already knocked anyway.

He greeted me with his icy stare.

“What do you want?” Cold. Oh, so cold. He did not even bother to offer me a seat

“Ah.. I went to your place. Auntie Eva said you are here, so..” I trailed, not knowing whether I should continue speaking or not. His glare makes me want to bolt for the door.

“That does not answer my question. Stop beating around the bush. Tell me what you want, then leave.”

Is this really Rev now? Is he really the guy who used to be my best friend? It’s been five years, and I thought he might have forgiven me already. It seems I was mistaken. Five years of being best friends in college, gone in just one night of stupidity. If only I didn’t drink that night.

He gestured for the seat nearby.

I promptly took it because my knees are shaking. The air conditioning of his room is in full blast but I am sweating out of nervousness. This feels like I’ve been called to the principal’s office.

“Rev.. Are you still mad at me? It’s been five years.”

He looked at me and squinted his chinito eyes.

“What are you?”

“Eh?”

“You think you’re too special?”

“Eh?”

“Five years. Do you think I spent my five years hating someone like you?”

“Uh.. Someone like me? Which means..?”

“I don’t feel anything towards you. Nothing, as in NIL. Not even hatred.”

“Oh! That’s great! It means we might still be friends. You’re still my best friend!”

“I said I don’t feel anything for you. That includes friendship.”

If his stare was frosty earlier, now his eyes are blazing. Obviously, the guy still hates me. Regardless of what he say.

“Rev..”

“Shut up. I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“Why do you still hate me so much?”

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

He sighed.

“Please just leave me alone. I said I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“Because I ruined your life? Hell, Rev, it’s been five years! Can’t you move on?”

His nostrils flared in obvious anger. Rev rushed towards me and held my shoulders with such pressure I almost winced.

“It’s so easy for you to move on, because you are not the one who was hurt. Rein, I trusted you, I loved you, and then, what?? For a night of fun, you threw our friendship away!”

I swallowed hard. My heart constricted in what he said. I know I deserved his anger, especially from his point of view. But I think it is not entirely my fault that their relationship fell apart. Jean could have chosen to forgive him, afterall, he didn’t do anything wrong.

Besides, is our friendship so weak that he couldn’t forgive me even after so many years? He should have known that I never intended to purposely hurt him or cause him to break up.

I get it that I was the one who caused their misunderstanding, but it was Jean who decided to dump him.

Alright, Jean is his one true love. And I think that is what hurts more. Even until now, it still hurts. But I will not do again what I did before. He should not find out that I still love him.