CHAPTER 12: FORBIDDEN

My head feels heavy from all the crying and my eyes are so swollen that it felt like it will fall off its socket if I cry more. I want to see Rev badly. I want to hug him tight. I want to see him smile at me once again. If that’s not possible, then his cold stare and snide remarks will do. As long as he looks at me and I can look back at him. As long as I can hear his voice and I can talk to him.

What I’d give to have him by my side. But it is forbidden now. I’m forbidden to come anywhere near him.

I am still lying on my bed and didn’t want to move but someone is banging on the door of my apartment, as if whoever that person is wants to break down the door. Before it gets destroyed, I mustered all efforts and walked towards it. I saw Bryan when I pulled it open.

“Reina! What happened to you??” he quickly hugged me. I hugged him back and cried on his shoulders. I just finished crying a while ago, but I am starting to cry again. I felt like I’ve been crying for so long already.

I know I told Bryan that I do not want to see him anymore, but right now, I need a friend. And sadly, I have no one to call that anymore.

“I know you said you didn’t want to see me again. But Rein, I just want to talk to you before I leave.”

I didn’t answer, I just cried.

“Rein, stop crying. Look at your eyes, they are so swollen. You are supposed to be happy now, Rev is alive.”

“I am happy that he is alive but..”

“Then why?”

“I didn’t even get to see him. They made me sleep back then, when Mr. Montenegro decided to stop Rev’s life support. Lorraine said Rev woke up right that moment. But when I came to, I was already in a different room. I tried to visit Rev but Auntie Eva pushed me away. She prohibited me from coming near him ever again. She pleaded for me to stay away from him. She said I should stop ruining her son’s life,” I hiccuped as I recount everything that transpired in the hospital. “For Auntie Eva to tell me that, she must really, really hate me now.”

It breaks my heart to know that I did not just lose Rev. I also lost his mother who treated me like a daughter. The thought made my tears build up again. I wiped it violently. I don’t want to cry anymore!

“But your Auntie Eva seemed nice and she looked like she really adored you.”

“Yes, but I was the reason her son almost died. She said I bring only danger and darkness to Rev. It is so painful because I loved her like my mother. I know she loved me, but now she pushed me away. She said she loved me, but for her son, she would choose me gone from their life. She even begged me to stay away from them. Rev and Auntie Eva are like my only family in the world. And now they both don’t want me. I really don’t have anyone anymore.”

“You still have me. And it’s my fault that you are in this situation.”

I shook my head.

“Bryan, quit it. You know within yourself that we do not have a future together. We are just not cut for each other.”

Bitterness crossed his eyes.

“You really love him that much?” it’s more of a statement than a question.

I bit my lips. Of course, I was too obvious.

“I felt it. That you never loved me. I just chose to pretend I didn’t know. Because I also know you were trying, you were trying to learn to love me. So I thought to myself, I will give you all the time you need to learn to love me. Even if it takes forever. That’s why even when I know you have someone you love, I still wanted to marry you.”

“I’m sorry Bryan.”

He nodded silently. He didn’t have any choice but to accept my decision. I decided to stop pretending that I can love him. I don’t want to fool myself anymore.

“Then, do you want to fight for him?”

I shook my head sadly and smiled bitterly.

“Auntie Eva was right. I bring nothing but problems for Rev. I plan to leave. I just need to see that he is really fine now, that he is out of danger, and I will leave on my own. He’s better off without me.”

“Where do you plan to go?

“It is better that you don’t know, Bryan. I don’t want you to come looking for me. Both of us need to move on.”

I didn’t really plan to stay out of the country for good. I already started a small business, anyway. I just need some time to sort myself. And maybe, after a long time, I can re-establish my friendship with Rev. But Bryan doesn’t need to know that.

He looked down in defeat.

“I also plan to go back to Australia in a month. But since you are already leaving, can we spend time together while we are still both here?”

I forced a smile and agreed. That, I can give him. I also needed to keep myself occupied. I have to keep myself from always thinking of Rev.

Days passed by. It’s true that even when you are in misery, the world around you will keep moving on. You may wonder why everything is so normal while you are dying inside, but it’s just how it is. Life goes on, the world live on, whether you can cope with its movement or not.

It’s been two weeks since Rev woke up when Lorraine texted me that he was released from the hospital. Auntie Eva brought him home in their mansion. I decided to see him right away. For the last time.

Lorraine opened the gate for me, but before I can enter, Auntie Eva came out of the house.

“What are you doing here??” she pulled me outside of the gate.

“Auntie, I just want to see Rev for the last time,” I begged. But her expression remained cold.

“You are not going anywhere near my son. I thought we had it clear!”

“Auntie, I am leaving soon. I just need to see him, just once.”

“No. If you atleast respect me, you will listen to what I say. Stay away from him!”

She slammed the gate shut. I was left outside not knowing what to do. Lorraine hesitated for a bit, but Auntie Eva called her so she turned around and went back to the house.

I looked up to Rev’s room and thought I saw his silhouette. But when I looked intently, he’s not there.