CHAPTER 11: TO LIVE OR TO DIE?

It’s been days since Rev was brought to the hospital but his condition did not improve. He has not regained consciousness yet and only the machines connected to him sustains his life. The doctors said that if his state remain like this longer, the possibility of him ever waking up becomes slimmer. And even if he wakes up after that, there is a high chance that he will be paralyzed.

Auntie Eva is not talking to anyone since the incident, she is always sitting outside Rev’s room, staring at the wall with a dazed look. She wouldn’t even glance at me. I cannot ascertain if she is mad at me or she’s just oblivious of her surroundings. Whenever we let her inside Rev’s room, she would start crying hard. She wouldn’t stop until we decide to inject her with sedative so that she can rest.

Yesterday, Rev’s estranged father came. For the first time, I met him. Auntie Eva and her husband decided to separate ways even before I met Rev. Now that Rev is in coma and Auntie Eva is not in her best self, Mr. Montenegro takes it upon himself to make decisions for his son.

Mr. Montenegro seemed indifferent and detached. It sometimes feel like he’s just here for appearances’ sake, and not because he is Rev’s father. He’s been making decisions about Rev as if he’s making a business decision. When I introduced myself to him before, he specifically told me to just call him Mr. Montenegro.

I haven’t slept properly since we came here. I haven’t left the hospital, either. The maids at Auntie’s house just bring us the things we need, like food and change of clothes. Lorraine, one of the house helps, brought fresh clothes again today. I left her inside Rev’s room to accompany Auntie Eva as I went out for fresh air for a while.

I came back, still with heavy heart, and pushed open the door to Rev’s room, but I suddenly stopped when I heard Mr. Montenegro’s voice inside. I thought he was talking to Auntie Eva so I turned around to give them a moment. But I froze on the spot when I heard what he said.

“So you are suggesting that we stop the machines?”

“No, I’m not ‘suggesting’. I’m only informing you of the probabilities,” I heard the voice of Rev’s doctor.

“It’s the same. You’re figures are saying that we stop the machines. And to be honest, I agree with that.”

Shit!

I pushed the door open with unnecessary force.

“Sir, what does that mean?” I asked him with wide eyes.

“This is a family issue, Ms. Romualdez.” He looked at me sternly as if telling me to stay out of it.

“With all due respect Sir, we are talking about Rev’s life here. I cannot just let you remove his life support!” my eyes started to leak and I felt myself shaking in controlled anger. He is Rev’s father, I have to maintain a level of respect even if I do not agree with him.

“Look, Ms. Romualdez, whose fault is it that he is here in the first place?”

I felt the sting of his words. I couldn’t bring myself to refute his words.

In my silence, Mr. Montenegro took the opportunity to speak with the doctor again.

“Then, whatever preparations you need to do, do it now so that we can wrap up everything here.”

“Mr. Montenegro, his mother has to consent to this too,” the doctor said.

“Even you can tell that she is not fit to make that decision. I am his father, I will sign the papers.”

“No!” I shouted louder than I intended. “Mr. Montenegro, he is your son! You can’t do that!”

He looked at me coldly and smirked. “He is my son, and I CAN do that.”

He stepped towards me. I wanted to hit him, to hurt him right now. When he is in front of me, I thought he will stop. But he just walked past me and left the room.

“Doc, you can’t do that. Auntie Eva will not allow this!”

“She’s always hysterical, hija. She’s been out of sort since Rev was admitted. If Mr. Montenegro decides to sign the papers, you can’t do anything about it.” He looked at me sadly. “Believe me I understand how you feel. But you’re not family.”

I shook my head several times. No he didn’t understand how I feel. Not a bit. How am I going to live through my life after this?

I bolted for the door and run towards the chapel. Auntie would surely be there. That’s the only place she goes to whenever she’s not in Rev’s room.

But there’s no Auntie Eva inside the chapel, only their help was there kneeling in front of the altar.

“Where’s Auntie?” I asked her.

“They injected sedative to her earlier because she kept on crying again. She is sleeping in the next room.”

I immediately went to the room where she is sleeping. I went inside quietly but I was surprised at what I saw.

Auntie is sleeping. Beside her bed, Mr. Montenegro is sitting, crying while holding her hand tightly. I was about to leave but I heard the voice of Mr. Montenegro. I thought he is talking to me, but I realized belatedly that he is not. He is talking to his estranged wife.

“I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to suffer this pain. I know you didn’t allow me to take care of you, but just for now, I wanted to protect you. So please sleep for now, I will make the decision that you cannot make. I know you will hate me for this, but I’d rather you hate me than hating yourself. I love you. I still love you so much.” And with that, he kissed the hand that he’s holding.

I took a step back and hit the door. Mr. Montenegro turned around for the noise.

“Ah.. I-I’m sorry, Mr. Montenegro. I was just looking for Auntie Eva.”

He looked at me silently. No, he stared at me. And I cannot, for the life of me, tear away my eyes from him. His eyes are not cold anymore, they are misty and mournful.

“I understand you,” he said to me. “But please understand me, too. Rev.. It’s not that I don’t care for my son. It’s that I have no choice but to let him go to save Eva. She’s been through this state before, and she was not able to cope with depression by herself. The longer Rev remains like that, the more her agony becomes unbearable for her. I have to do this. Now.”

I was unable to utter a word until he left the room. And I have no doubt where he was heading. But my feet are rooted to the floor, I cannot make myself move.

When the door opened again, it was Lorraine’s panicking face that I saw.

“Rein..! They are removing Rev’s life support!”

Those words spring me back to reality. But this reality feels like a nightmare. How? How will I stop them?

Tears streamed down my face, I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. My hands shook as I reached for the door knob and ran to Rev’s room. Why is it that I can’t seem to run fast enough?

I burst in and saw that the doctor and his assistants are near Rev’s bed. Mr. Montenegro was handing over the signed waivers.

“Noooo!” I dashed in and pushed the doctor who was about to reach for the button. “Stay away! Stay away from him!”

“Ms. Romual-“

“D-Don’t you dare..” shit! Stop quivering, Rein! Stop shaking!

Two men who look like they are hospital staff stepped towards me. I grabbed the bread knife I saw on the table, beside the untouched hospital food.

“Don’t.. Stop where you are! I won’t let you.. You cannot touch him!” tears streamed from my eyes uncontrollably. I almost cannot see them through the tears. I reached for Rev’s hand beside me and bent down to him.

“Rev, please wake up! Pleaseeee..! Please I beg you, wake up now!”

Some hands grabbed me and tried to pull me away but I kicked and punched and bit them.

“Reeev! Wake up! Open your eyes! NOOOO! Don’t touch me, let me go! Let me go!”

The more they try to pull me away, the tighter I held onto Rev’s hand. I heard someone said to inject me some sedative, and I cannot afford to be sedated right now. But before I can protest, I felt the sharp prick of the syringe. It only took a few moments for my senses to get dull. My attempt to keep my head clear was in vain. As commotion erupted around me, I slowly drifted to sleep.