Chapter 17 Secrets Shared
Elara Pov
I pulled Maddie around the back of the dorms. To the spot nobody knew about except me. My secret place. The corner between two buildings where the maintenance guys stored old equipment but never actually came.
I'd made it cozy. Put down old blankets. Strung up fairy lights I'd stolen from the drama department. Brought pillows. Made it into a little hideout. A place to escape when everything got too loud. Too much.
"Where are we going?" Maddie asked. She was following me but looked confused. Tired.
"You'll see," I said. "Trust me."
We turned the corner. I pushed aside the tarp covering the entrance. Gestured for her to go in.
Maddie ducked inside. Stopped. Looked around. "Whoa."
"Right?" I said. Grinning. "Pretty cool huh?"
"This is amazing," Maddie said. She touched one of the fairy lights. "How long have you had this place?"
"Since freshman year," I said. "Found it by accident. Been coming here ever since when I need to think. Or cry. Or just be alone."
"And you're sharing it with me?" Maddie asked. She looked surprised. Touched.
"You're my friend," I said simply. "Friends share secret hideouts."
Maddie smiled. A real smile. First one I'd seen from her in days. "Thank you."
"Sit," I said. I plopped down on one of the blankets. Patted the spot next to me. "Get comfortable."
Maddie sat. Pulled her knees up to her chest. Wrapped her arms around them. She looked small. Vulnerable. Like she was trying to make herself disappear.
I reached behind one of the pillows. Pulled out the box I kept hidden there. My emergency supplies. Opened it up.
"Okay so," I said. Laying everything out. "I have chips. Three different kinds. Candy. Chocolate. Gummy bears. Some gross healthy bars my mom sent. And..."
I pulled out the bottle. Held it up. "Cheap vodka. Stolen from my roommate's boyfriend."
Maddie's eyes went wide. "We'll get in trouble."
"Only if we get caught," I said. "Which we won't. Nobody comes back here. Trust me."
"I don't really drink," Maddie said quietly.
"Neither do I usually," I admitted. "But sometimes you need it. And I think tonight is one of those times."
I opened the bottle. Took a small sip. Made a face. It burned going down. Tasted awful. But that was kind of the point.
I handed it to Maddie. "Your turn."
She hesitated. Stared at the bottle like it might bite her. Then she took it. Brought it to her lips. Sipped. Coughed.
"That's disgusting," she said.
"Yep," I agreed. "But it works."
We passed the bottle back and forth. Small sips. Not trying to get drunk. Just trying to feel something other than pain. Trying to numb the edges a little.
"So," I said after a few minutes. "Want to talk about what happened at the full moon run?"
"Not really," Maddie said. She was playing with the edge of a blanket. Not looking at me.
"Want to talk about anything?" I asked. "Or we can just sit here. That's cool too."
Maddie was quiet. I didn't push. Just waited. Let her decide if she wanted to open up.
The fairy lights cast soft shadows. Made everything feel safe. Private. Like we were in our own little world away from campus. Away from everyone.
"My ex cheated on me," Maddie said suddenly. Her voice was soft. Barely above a whisper. "With my best friend."
I went still. "What?"
"Jace," Maddie said. "My boyfriend at my old school. I walked in on him with my best friend Lila. They were in bed together."
"Oh Maddie," I said. My heart hurt for her. "That's awful. I'm so sorry."
"I thought he loved me," Maddie continued. She was crying now. Tears sliding down her face. "I thought we were going to be together forever. But he didn't even care. When I walked in they just kept going. Like I wasn't even there. Like I didn't matter."
I moved closer. Put my arm around her shoulders. "He's an idiot. They both are."
"And my parents," Maddie said. Her voice broke. "They're gone. Murdered."
My breath caught. "What?"
"Someone killed them," Maddie said. "I found them. In our house. Just lying there. Dead."
"Oh my god," I whispered. I didn't know what to say. What could you say to something like that? "Maddie I'm so sorry. That's horrible."
"I don't know who did it," Maddie said. She was sobbing now. Full on sobbing. "I don't know why. They were good people. They didn't hurt anyone. But someone killed them and I had to leave. Had to run. Had to hide."
"Is that why you transferred?" I asked gently. "Because you were running from whoever killed them?"
Maddie nodded. Couldn't speak anymore. Just cried.
I pulled her closer. Let her cry on my shoulder. Let her fall apart. Sometimes people just needed to fall apart. Needed someone to hold them while they broke.
"You're not alone anymore," I said quietly. "I promise. You have me now. I'm not going anywhere."
"Everyone leaves," Maddie said between sobs. "Everyone dies or betrays me or disappears. Everyone."
"Not me," I said firmly. "I'm staying. You're stuck with me."
"You don't know that," Maddie said. "You don't know what will happen."
"I know I'm not a cheating asshole like your ex," I said. "I know I'm not fake like your old best friend. I know I actually care about you."
Maddie looked up at me. Her face was red. Wet with tears. Mascara smudged under her eyes. She looked destroyed. But also relieved. Like she'd been holding all this in for so long and finally let it out.
"Why?" Maddie asked. "Why do you care? You barely know me."
"I know enough," I said. "I know you're hurting. I know you're scared. I know you're trying really hard to hold it together. That's enough."
"But what if I'm too broken?" Maddie asked. "What if I'm too messed up to be friends with?"
"Then we'll be messed up together," I said. "I'm not exactly normal either. In case you haven't noticed."
That got a small laugh out of her. Tiny. But there. "You're pretty weird."
"Thank you," I said. Grinning. "I try."
We sat there for a while. Maddie crying. Me holding her. The fairy lights twinkling above us. The bottle of vodka sitting between us half empty now.
"I don't know how to move forward," Maddie said eventually. "Everything hurts. Everything feels impossible. I don't know how to just keep going."
"One day at a time," I said. "That's all you can do. Wake up. Breathe. Survive. Then do it again tomorrow."