Chapter 100 His secret
Lucas stifled a laugh. “Come on, I know about sex education.” Lucas looked down at him through damp lashes. “I didn’t say stop, it's just…”
“It's nothing baby,” Alex didn't want to hear anything. He cut him short, leaned, and claimed his lips again.
Gently, Alex pulled away, moved to press him more securely against the tiled wall. Their mouths met again, slower, heavier now. Alex’s hand traced along Lucas’s side as if memorizing every inch, reassuring himself he was truly there with him.
Lucas’s fingers slid down Alex’s back, nails grazing lightly, drawing a low exhale from him.
The steam thickened, the glass fogging completely around them. The outside world had been forgotten. What was left was only heat from their bodies, their breath, and eye contact.
Alex pulled back just enough to look at him, undoing his buttons at the same time. “You’re mine,” he said softly and it sounded like a promise.
Lucas touched the pendant on his chest gently. A smile curled on his lips. “Have you ever taken it off?” Lucas asked out of curiosity.
“Never baby, it's the greatest gift I've ever received,” Alex responded as he caressed his cheek, his thumb brushing his lower lip. “You're my air, Lucas,” Alex whispered.
“It means you’ve chosen me so no backing away,” he replied.
Those words made Alex’s expression change completely and he whispered, “Yes, I've chosen you.”
Lucas’s hand started caressing the hairs on his chest. Alex leaned in and kissed him again, slower this time.
As they paused, “Lucas turned on the shower again and murmured, “It's too hot in here.”
Alex smiled, “Yeah baby, it's because you're cooking my body.” He whispered to his ear as he trailed his tongue along it, teasing him.
The earlier chaos from the bar felt distant now. The fear, the jealousy, the anger, and every worry washed down the drain with the water. What remained were two hearts carried away with passion.
Alex lost himself in the moment. The cool water streamed down their bodies while he held Lucas against the tiled wall, breathing unevenly. Every few seconds, a quiet gasp slipped from him, followed by the same whisper, “My Lucas,” against Lucas’s skin.
The words sounded almost reverent. His hands moved instinctively, sliding down Lucas’s waist. His fingers fumbled at Lucas’s belt, clumsy with urgency until the buckle finally slipped free. The soft clink echoed faintly under the running shower.
Lucas’s breath caught but Alex didn’t stop.
He kissed along Lucas’s collarbone, slow at first, then lower, his lips trailing warm paths across damp skin. Each kiss lingered a second longer than the last. When his mouth reached Lucas’s chest, he paused.
His lips brushed lightly over one nipple. He stilled, testing the reaction. Then he did it again.
A faint shiver ran through Lucas.
Alex shifted to the other one, his mouth closing gently around it, drawing it in before pulling back with a soft breath.
“Oh baby…” he murmured huskily, his forehead resting briefly against Lucas’s chest. “I love your breasts. They are suckable.” His voice dropped into a whisper as he kissed him again.
But suddenly, Lucas’s eyes snapped open. The haze disappeared from them almost instantly.
His gaze fixed on the tiled wall for a moment. It felt distant, but then fear flickered across his face.
Before Alex could continue, Lucas pushed lightly against his shoulders. His body tensed, his gaze confused and his heart thudded violently
“Alex… I… I can’t…”
Alex froze. For a split second confusion crossed his face before concern took over.
“Oh no,” he whispered quickly, leaning closer, trying to catch his eyes. “Please don’t do this, baby. You can handle it, don't be scared.”
He moved to kiss him again. He started softly, but Lucas pulled away once more.
The fear in his eyes hadn’t faded.
“You’re not going to leave me, right?” Lucas asked quietly.
The question landed like a blow.
Alex stopped completely. All the heat from moments ago faded under the weight of that fear.
He cupped Lucas’s face immediately, forcing him to look at him.
“Baby,” he said softly, stroking his cheek with his thumb, “I will never leave you. Okay?”
Lucas searched his face, as if trying to confirm the promise.
But the tension in his body remained.
Alex noticed everything, the hesitation, the trembling breath, the way Lucas seemed to retreat inside himself. Even his own arousal was still pressed painfully between them, but it didn’t matter anymore.
Something else was wrong.
Worry began to creep into Alex’s chest as his mind raced.
Why now? Why pull away like this? Then it hit him as a thought surfaced in his mind instantly.
His secret.
Alex’s expression shifted slightly as realization dawned on him. His hand remained gentle on Lucas’s cheek while he looked down at him.
His voice came softer as he murmured. “Baby, is this about your secret?”
Lucas stared at him for a long moment.
Water continued to run over them, steam curling around their bodies, but the warmth no longer reached Lucas. His fingers tightened around Alex’s hand as if it were the only solid thing keeping him steady.
Then slowly, he nodded.
“I don’t want you to leave me,” Lucas whispered. His voice trembled, fragile in a way Alex had rarely heard. “Please… don’t leave me.”
Alex’s heart clenched. He immediately pulled Lucas closer, one arm wrapping securely around his back while his other hand cupped his face. He kissed him…slow, reassuring him, and nothing demanding.
“Sweetheart,” Alex murmured softly against his lips, “I will never leave you. No matter what it is. Do you hear me? I cross my heart.”
Lucas searched his eyes again.
Alex brushed damp hair from his forehead and continued his worry very obvious.
“Tell me, baby. Did someone else hurt you? Apart from Zenith? Did someone molest you before?”
Lucas shook his head quickly.
“No… no.”
Then he swallowed hard and stared down. “It’s my secret,” he said quietly. “It’s… it’s…”
The words tangled in his throat. He tried again, but they wouldn’t come.
Alex lifted his chin and gazed worriedly at him.
His chest rose and fell unevenly as panic crept into his expression.
Alex noticed immediately and tried to soothe him.
“Hey,” he said softly, pressing his forehead against Lucas’s. “Baby… if you’re not ready to tell me, it’s okay. You don’t have to force it.”
Lucas looked conflicted.
“I’ll wait,” Alex continued gently. “Until you’re ready, hmm.”
For a second it looked like Lucas might take that escape. But then something in him broke.
“I’m not normal,” he said suddenly with a cracked voice. The words came out fast, almost desperate.
“And I’m not gay.”
The statement hung heavy in the steamy air.
“What?” The word slipped out of Alex before he could stop it. He stared at Lucas in pure surprise, trying to process what he had just heard.
Lucas’s grip on his hand tightened, fear flashing across his face again, waiting for the reaction he dreaded most.
Alex didn't move or say anything for a minute. They just stared at each other. Then a tear dropped down Lucas’s cheek.