Chapter 55 All Part Of The Process

Chapter 55 All Part Of The Process
Corran

I knock loudly on April’s door for the fourth time in the last hour, worried about her. I’ve tried calling and texting, but she hasn’t answered or read them. I hope she simply fell asleep. I reach for the door handle, unsure whether it's unlocked. I dislike the idea of entering without permission, but I can’t ignore the possibility that something’s wrong. I pull the handle down, and the door opens. I step inside, and initially, everything is silent. I call out for her, but there’s no response. 

Suddenly, loud whimpers and mild sobs echo from her bedroom within the flat. I rush inside and find April asleep, making the noises, likely from a bad dream. I sit on the bed's edge, softly shake her, and call her name. She is sweating and thrashing about. 

She finally wakes up, sobbing, "Corbin?" 

My heart aches for her as I hear her calling for him. I understand her pain in that moment. A part of me feels guilty for not being him, but that's beyond my control. 

I place my hand on her knee. “Sorry, April. It's not Corbin,” I say gently, rubbing her knee. 

Her gaze locks on me, tears welling up in her eyes and her cheeks flushed. She runs her fingers through her hair. “Corran, what are you doing in my bedroom?” Her brows furrow in confusion. 

I was worried, so I tried calling, texting, and knocking multiple times over the last hour. I waited to see if you'd reach out, and when I didn't hear from you, I came back. The door was unlocked when I tried it. I called out for you, and when I heard you whimpering and crying, I rushed inside. What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare? 

April hugs her knees to her chest. “Yes, I saw Corbin get killed. It felt so real. I am sorry that I worried you.” Tears now flow down her cheeks. 

I reach in and wipe them away. “You have nothing to apologise for.” 

I give her a moment to compose herself. She shuts her eyes, takes a few deep breaths, and wipes away the last of her tears. When her eyes open, she looks at me again. I notice her glance shift over my shoulder, and a small smile appears on her lips. I turn to look over my shoulder, feeling confused, but see nothing. I brush it off; it's not the first time something like this has happened. Her focus returns to me quickly. 

“Can I get you anything? Maybe some tea?”

“Yes, please. I will tidy myself up.” 

I nod and press a kiss to her forehead before I leave the bedroom for the kitchen. I pass some photos of her and Corbin. One shows them when they couldn’t have been more than sixteen, but even then, as teenagers, they looked so in love. 

“I hope I'm not overstepping, Corbin. Sorry you’re not here. I wish you and Edin were both here. I promise to take good care of her,” I whisper, and a shiver runs through me, as if someone is standing right beside me. Creepy!

I swear that place feels haunted. I go to the kitchen and turn on the kettle for tea. Leaning against the counter, I quickly lose myself in thought. I reach into my pocket for my phone and open the photos. Swiping through them, I see mostly pictures of Edin or us together. I smile at the memories. Suddenly, I hear movement, so I slip the phone back in my pocket. I focus on making the tea. 

A moment later, April walks in. "Were you talking to someone?” 

I didn’t expect she would have heard me. “No, I was just talking to myself,” I say with a laugh. 

April chuckles, agreeing. “I do that too.” 

I am glad she believes me, because I am sure she would find it strange if I told her I was talking to a photo of Corbin and her. I finish making the tea and head to the living room. I will make us some food soon. I assume she hasn’t had dinner yet. 

We settle on the sofa, and I hand her one of the mugs. 

"Are you going to be okay?” 

April looks at me, smiling gently, but the sadness lingers in her eyes. “I will be. I need to stay strong. Corbin would want that for me. Like you, I have good and bad days. Today was tough. I hope tomorrow will be better.” 

I do understand. Every day is different. “I hope so…” 

April moves nearer to me on the sofa and tucks into my side. “Is this alright?" she whispers. 

I slip my arm around her without hesitation. “Of course it is.” I smile and kiss the top of her head. 

She snuggles in closer, seeking comfort after the recent hours. I’m happy to give it because I know she would do the same for me. I believe she’ll be okay, or at least as okay as one can be while grieving. I don’t think the grief ever completely disappears. 

“Are you hungry?” 

“No, not right now. The tea will be fine. We can have food later, unless you want some now. I can make you something or order in?” 

I shake my head. “No, it's okay. I'll wait until you're hungry.” 

I'll ensure she eats something, even a small amount, since she can’t go the entire night without food. However, that's a concern I can address later. Right now, food won't be her priority. She needs time to recover and become willing to eat again. 

“If you change your mind, let me know.” She smiles. 

“I will.” 

Silence settles between us, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable—it's necessary. I gently stroke her arm with my free hand, and she nuzzles into my neck. I close my eyes, breathing in the warmth of her skin that causes a tickling sensation. But now isn't the time for those feelings. After a brief moment, April pulls away and rests her head on my shoulder once more. That is much better. I can manage that. I'll stay here with her for as long as he needs me to. Even if that is all night.