Chapter 44 My story
On Arthur’s way home, he kept recalling what the therapist had told him to do. He had to forgive Anita and move on, and this wasn’t going to be so easy.
He had to train himself not to be so mad at her when she appeared.
‘But how will I do this? Setting my eyes on her makes me hate her every single time!’ Arthur yelled in his head, hitting the steering in anger.
He let out a deep sigh as he tried to calm himself down.
“You can’t keep using Aurora, Mr Arthur. It isn't good to distract yourself with a romantic relationship or it wouldn’t end well, we’ll have to start from the very beginning because at the end, one of you will get hurt.
“You need to be sure she isn’t just a distraction, and if she is, it’s best you try to take things slow.”
The words of Mr Richard came to him again. He began to think of ways to take things slow, but it was all cloudy.
‘She doesn’t want to be a girlfriend for a long time. She wants me to marry her, but how can I do this when I’m asked to take things slow?? I’m so tired.’ He said to himself.
He eventually got home and when he opened the door and stepped in, he met Aurora sitting in the living room with tears in her eyes.
“Aurora?” He called, creasing his brows.
“We need to talk.” She uttered, and he heaved a sigh.
“I’m just getting back from work, Aurora and I’m pretty exhausted. Can we talk tomorrow?” He asked tiredly, removing his suit.
“By then, I’ll be gone.” She answered, keeping her stare at him cold and intense.
“What are you talking about?”
“I know what I am to you, Arthur, and before we even talk about that. I need you to tell me why Anita affects you so much…”
“We are back on this Anita issue? You apologized to me this morning about it, and here you are, repeating the same thing you promised never to do.”
Aurora ignored his words and went on to pressure him into telling her about his past relationship.
“I need to know why she fked you up badly. That’s all I need, Arthur. I want you to talk to me. Is that too much to ask? Tell me, what happened in your past relationship?”
Arthur stared at her speechlessly. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk about it to anyone aside from his therapist, but then, he needed her to stop bothering him about it.
‘I can’t let her leave now, not when the boys love her so much. If I have to tell her what I passed through to make her stay, then I would.’
He took a deep breath as he settled down on the couch directly opposite the one Aurora sat on. He sat up and placed his hands on his thighs as he began to speak.
“I was a naive second-year student in college. I had no friends because I was an introvert. It went on like that from my freshman year, until my second year when I met Daniel and Anita.
“They were transferred from another school. I never thought they’d ever want to be friends with me. After my exams in my second year, Daniel approached me on my way home. He said he recognized me from class and would love to be my friend.
“I asked him why because no one ever showed interest in me, and he said he loved that I was quiet and reserved. He said he hated loud people too, and I was the only person in class that wasn’t loud.
“I felt happy hearing this from him and told him he could be my friend. Two weeks into our friendship, which was going smoothly, he introduced Anita to me as his friend. Anita was just a freshman but studied the same course Daniel and I studied.
“He asked if she could join us, that she’d love me to teach her school work because she was bad at it. Of course, I agreed to help out, I was glad they saw me as someone helpful. So I began to teach both Daniel and Anita school work, and I enjoyed doing it.
“Along the line, I found out Daniel was a wealthy house, and Anita was doing well too. I was the only poor one with no parents, but they didn’t make me feel so. Instead they loved me, Daniel paid most of my bills just to show appreciation for what I was doing for them.”
“Soon, their demands increased. Anita started coming behind Daniel’s back for tutorials and we spent so much time together. Alone. She began to flirt with me, telling me how handsome and well-built I was. All these got to me because no one ever appreciates me.
“One day, she came to my house and told me to help her write her test. This was the first time she was asking me to do this. I wasn’t comfortable doing this for her because of the fear of being caught, but then she kissed me, and all my standards washed down the drain.
“She stood with me over the night as I helped her with her test. She gave me the lovey-dovey look simultaneously making me blush very hard. I was happy that the most beautiful freshman I had ever set my eyes on liked me and was coming to my poorly managed home.
“After our second exams in my second year, Anita and Daniel came to my apartment to celebrate their outstanding results, and they all kept praising me for doing a good job. They both drank quite a bottle of alcohol, but I didn’t because I had never done it before. They also didn’t force me to do it, and this made me like them even more.
“Daniel left for his house after dropping some appreciation cash, and when it was time for Anita to leave, she refused. She said she wanted to spend the night with me. At first I wasn’t sure what she meant, but then she began to make some very obvious moves.
“She sat on top of my thighs while I laid on the bed, staring into my eyes. I was madly in love with her and I couldn’t deny it. While staring into my eyes she said she loved me and would be happy if I made her my girlfriend. It was like a dream.
“The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen was madly in love with me and even asked to go to me. I saw no way I was going to say no. The butterflies in my belly couldn’t stop dancing. I got so shy I couldn’t look into her eyes anymore, but she moved my face back, making sure I didn’t break eye contact.
“She had that power over me. I couldn’t say no to anything she wanted. I didn’t know this until after we started dating. That night was our first night. I was a virgin, but she wasn’t. I loved the night so much, I couldn’t stop thinking about it for years while we dated.
“Then after school, I began to work shifts just to get her things. When I got my salaries, eight percent was for her, and she didn’t hesitate to ask. But who was I to say no? She knew how to use her words. She’s the master of manipulation. I never for once suspected I was being used until that very day…”
Arthur stared into space as he saw himself standing in that mall again, with that flower bouquet in his hand.
“I was going to ask her to be my wife. I saved up money to get her a $600 ring and $100 flower bouquet. I stood happily in the mall for about an hour, waiting for her to show up.”
He took a pause and clenched his jaws as the feeling of humiliation that overwhelmed him that very day caused the hair on his body to stand.
“She showed up and I got the most shocking news of my life. Right there on my knees, raising the rind I worked so hard to buy for her, she snatched the flower from me and smacked my face with it.”
“What?!” Aurora uttered in awe.
“She called me names, said I was broke and she pitied me that was why she got together with me. She said I was only there to help with school work and sort little bills she didn’t feel like paying with her own money. Cameras and phones surrounded us, taking videos and pictures of how she broke-shamed me.
“She left me at the mall and I started blaming myself for trying to propose to her in a public place. I told myself it was because she was nervous, that I’ll go to her house and apologize, hoping she’d give me another chance.
“I went the next day, and there she was, in bed with Daniel humping her. She told me I was stupid and delusional. They both told me they would be getting married in three months and I wasn’t invited because it wasn’t for broke people. So I went back home with my heart shattered in a million pieces, my name all over the internet with lots of people throwing shades and making fun of me.”
After narrating this, he raised his head to look at Aurora and saw she was still sobbing.
“That’s my story. That’s what happened.” He uttered with gritted teeth. He pressed his teeth together so tightly that it felt it was going to break in his mouth.
He hated how he felt. He hated that she now looked at him with pity. He hated that she now saw him as a weakling.
“I’m sorry this happened to you, Arthur.” She uttered, and he stood up from the couch.
“That’s why I find it hard to trust another woman, Aurora. I want to reciprocate feelings but I just can’t. My damaged heart won’t let me.” He added, walking out of the living room.
With her hand over her mouth, Aurora broke into more tears. She was too deep in love with him to settle for less. It seemed like their relationship would never work. He was way more broken than she ever imagined.
‘I can’t make him love me, he only can do this. I have to leave.’