Chapter 257: The Fear Is Real!

Chapter 257: The Fear Is Real!
Kelly Anne's POV:

In the very instant of my realization, I don't know what came over me. It's like everything around me just seemed to back away, almost as if I was losing my grip on reality. I was even having a hard time focusing on my thoughts. I have seen the same thing happen in movies. It's like the camera pans strangely, and everything either backs away or gets up close. I didn't even realize Jasper was standing there with me anymore. It's like everything around me just... faded away.

I can't believe this is happening to me. Right then, it was as if I were frozen in fear. It was like I was again standing there on the sidewalk beside the vehicle we had crashed into. Then it dawned on me. My worst fears had been realized the moment I closed my eyes. I thought I was indeed standing there on the sidewalk. I thought it was Shane who was staring back at me in the distance, even.

Why did I not try to do something? Why did I not try to fight?! Oh, wait, I know why. It's because Shane scared the ever-living shit out of me. Any time I thought I would attempt to grow a backbone when it came to dealing with Shane, he would make sure to put me in my place. He wouldn't even let me live it down, if that were even possible. Then, to drive his point home even further, he would beat me into submission and wouldn't cease his actions until I couldn't get up off the floor. To say that my life was rough and that I had a rocky marriage didn't quite cover it.

Standing there with my eyes closed, I lost all sense of my surroundings. At the same time, I was flooded from head to toe in a cooling sensation of fear. To try to describe this particular feeling wouldn't even come close to the reality of the immense feelings that were flowing through my veins and every part of me in that precise moment.

I can not believe that my worst fears have come true. Suddenly, I didn't even know if I was standing anymore. What I didn't realize was that I fell backwards, and right into Jasper's arms as he picked me up and cradled me there against his chest. I was trying to curl myself up in a ball as I knew the power that Shane still held over me. The last thing that I wanted was for Jasper and his men to get hurt on my account. Sure, Jasper said that his men were fine. You could be shot with a bullet and still be fine. That didn't say that they weren't injured at all.

"Meine Liebe, look at me," I heard Jasper say from a distance, or so it sounded as if his voice was distant.

Why didn't I realize I was lying there in his arms? I was having a hard time focusing on anything at that moment, especially as I lay there in Jasper's arms. He was always so warm. Could I not even feel the warmth of his touch? What I didn't know was that he had walked back over to his bed and sat there on the edge, still holding me against his chest. Suddenly, it felt strange. I thought I heard a beating. This beat was steady.

Where was it coming from? I still had my eyes closed, but I didn't see the black shrouded cloud around me. There was just nothing. Nothing was all around me. All I knew was that my view was of me with my eyes closed. What is wrong with me? I was overly frustrated by all of this. Why do I have to be so weak? What more could Shane take away from me? Hasn't he taken enough already? What more could he want from me?!

All I wanted to do was let him be him, and me attempt to take care of me, but apparently that wasn't even possible if Shane had his way about things. Was Shane that miserable without me? Well, tough luck, asshole. I didn't want to be your personal punching bag anymore. Is that why he continued to pursue me so that he could make himself feel better whenever he tortured me? There were plenty of people in the world who could take care of that if he wanted someone else to pick on. Not that I would condone him turning his anger to someone else.

Get a therapist, go talk to someone about your problems, just leave me out of it. Hell, I know that Shane would rather beat the shit out of me instead of talking about his problems to someone else. He has a more physically aggressive characteristic than anyone I have known. If that was the case, then I didn't understand why he wouldn't just go to the damn gym. Beat the shit out of a punching bag for all I care. Just stop pursuing me. There's nothing I want more in this world than to be rid of Shane's torment and control.

I was overly frustrated by my treacherous thoughts. They just wouldn't stop thinking about Shane. Again, I heard Jasper's voice, but this time, this time it was different somehow. I heard Jasper's thoughts, and it almost sounded as if they were speaking inside my mind at that particular moment. How could that be? I didn't even know were Jasper was right now. Throughout this entire moment, I continued to hear this steady beating of the drum. Where was it coming from?

"Meine Liebe, I know you can hear," I heard Jasper's words resonate in my head, as if my thoughts were speaking up right then.

That couldn't be right. When you hear someone, you hear them through your ears. You don't hear their words as if they were your very own thoughts. Was I somehow mistaking something?

"Meine Liebe, I want you to know something," I heard Jasper speak at this time.

When he spoke, I opened my eyes. I was surprised that I had the ability to do that. I thought it was gonna be as if I were before, and I was trapped in the black shrouded cloud, and that I was unable to open my eyes even if I wanted to. What made this instance different than before? As I looked around, I noticed that he was sitting on the edge of his bed, and that I was lying there in his arms, my legs stretched out on the bed with my head resting on the side of his chest. Well, that explained the steady beat of the drum.

"Shane is the one who shot me," Jasper said, his voice soft and reassuring. How could he be reassuring whenever he gave me such treacherous news, such as that?

"But..." I tried to say as Jasper reached up with his hand that was wrapped around my hip and placed one finger over my lips to prevent me from saying another word.

"Let me finish," Jasper continued as he spoke softly. "I want you to know something."