A Mother's Regret

A Mother's Regret
" I gave up everything that I liked about my life to make children fit into it"
\-the cut

Anonymous point of view
Now that my children are older I have learned everything pales with time. Once its gone you can never get it back. My heart aches for the children I had left behind. They were so innocent pack life is a hard life. But I had to I had children before I learned how to heal. My deepest regret. I never knew what love was my father was in high standing within a neighboring pack. His rank was unknown to me. He had a one night stand with my mother who was the omega of to at the time Milo the Alpha of the Blood moon pack. Milo was Miles father. The Alpha had convinced her to give me up for a bastard had no true standing within the pack. Even then I couldn't blame her she saw Alpha's word as truth. I only wished she had fought harder for me. But I'm sure my children had thought the same about me.

My mother after giving me up would often sneak away just to see me and tell me stories about how she had met my father. A deep regret of hers aswell I would assume. That would be til Milo put a stop to it by selling me to Alpha Zions father Vex his dearest friend. I had just turned ten at the time. I would have a home soon. If I knew then what I know now I would would have ran. The horrors I faced in that pack would change me for the rest of my life.

Those horrors will continue for the next six years. Beating me til I blacked out leaving scars where ever they could get their hands on. Even the unseen parts had scars. The only part untouched was my face they needed my face a true beauty in their eyes. That was til I met Cassius. He was beautiful and at the time I thought he felt the same way that I felt about him. His dark hair glistened in the sun light. His warm smile made my heart melt. His kind eyes Pearcing through my very soul. I thought at the time that He had loved me and at the time it felt like He did.

He was kind to me to the very moment we had sex. It was after I found out I was pregnant that He had changed. He was now stuck with the sex slave from the orphanage that everyone looked down on. The used worthless bastard that had no true standing within the pack. I was washed up. It only worsened when Freya came into the picture with her black raven hair and her high cheek bones. He lost every sense of what He used to be. A trained warrior who was now laughed at by the sidelines. Freya took one look at him with disgust and looked at me with even more disgust on her face. I had already given birth to Callum. My labors were not easy. I labored a day and a half with him to bring him into this cruel world some thought I wouldn't make it. His birth taking a toll on my slender frame. But from that moment I had loved him I was only sixteen soon to be seventeen and already forced to be a woman before my years. Over the years I had watched Callum grow He was magnificent. But Cassius began to drink and sulk in his misery. He would beat me burn me and sometimes even rape me. Some nights I prayed to the moon Goddess to take this pain away and free my son and I from this burden. But atlas, she was silent as ever. I was angry at her soon I would take that anger out on Callum. My deepest regret. My only hope was to leave my son behind and so I did with a man I knew who would abuse him. But soon I found myself right back in the same boat with a human boy named Anthony He had gotten me out of the life I had with Cassius only to be way worse than him. He would too abandoned me after I had fallen pregnant with my daughter Mara. She was so pure I never believed I could make anything like her. Her silver blueish eyes sparkled at me me. Her flush cheeks she was perfect. But soon trouble seemed to follow me wherever I seemed to go. Anthony's debt became my own. I was forced into prostitution once more borrowing money from strangers inorder to feed my daughter. But soon my luck would run out Mara was my only solution I sold her to the brothel inorder to settle my debt. Soon I would leave her behind as well never to see her again. It wasn't til I met Jed that I knew what true love really was. He was my true mate and together we shared three beautiful children and I ended up adopting his twins as well. Just when everything seemed to becoming together. My heart ached for the children I was forced to leave behind. I longed to see them once more and tell them that I was sorry. I restored my faith into the Moon Goddess asking her for the answers. Deep down in my heart I knew I had to make things right with them. Jed knew about my other children and he encouraged to seek them out and surely they would understand. But it wasn't that simple. In their eyes I had abandoned them and I did there was no denying it. The evidence was there I left one pup to get abused by his father and the other at a brothel. I know I changed my ways but do they. Taking a deep breathe I knew what I had to do. I was Serlara and I had to make this right.