Chapter 44 Chapter 44
Kieran’s POV
She broke me and I was not sure how I would cope working with her. I know I told her I would be happy working with her, but I lied. I walked back to camp and placed the clean dishes in the makeshift kitchen before going to set up my sleeping bag. I was not in the mood to bother talking to anyone. Everyone must have picked up on the tension in the air as soon everyone was following suit. By the time Jess came back from the river everyone had chosen their spot for the night and curled up in the sleeping bags. I knew that Jess would choose not to sleep by me, and I was right as I saw her set up her bag on the opposite side of the fire to me. I turned by back on the fire and closed my eyes, I could not work with Jess knowing she hated me. I could also not work with John when he was the reason she hated me. She was so nice to him, yet treated me like shit, when he was the one who sent me away and told me I was not allowed to contract her. The only way was for me to go off on my own. I had survived the last ten years on my own, I am sure I would be fine on my own again. I was sure that I would be able to find some other humans to hang out with. I decided that my mind was made up and tomorrow morning after breakfast I would leave.
When I woke up I saw Jess get up and grab a gun before walking off into the forest with her dog. Once she was gone, I climbed out of my bag and started to pack my things.
“What are you doing?” John asked as he walked over
“Packing up my things” I grunted as I carried on.
“Why?”
“Why the fuck do you think?” I growled “Jess has all the respect for you yet hates me. It was you who fucking sent me away, it was you who told me I was not allowed to contact her. Yet here you are the big hero while I am the bastard. I can not stay here and work with either of you, so I am leaving”
“You were following his orders?” Justin asked as he walked over with Alice
“Yes” I growled “Do you honestly think I would leave the girl I loved if I didn’t get a direct fucking order?”
“Does Jess know?” Alice asked “She thought you didn’t love her”
“I never stopped loving her. She was the only thing that kept me going and now she cannot stand me”
“Let me talk to her” John begged “Don’t leave just yet”
“You have till after breakfast” I told him “After that I am gone, and I won’t be coming back”
“Let’s heat up the left-over stew, things might look better on a full stomach” Alice sighed as she took my arm and led me over to the makeshift kitchen. “She still loves you” told me in a low voice so no one else would hear. “Let John talk to her, if she hears it from him that you were just following orders, I think she will let you back in”
“If not, I need to leave” I told her
We heated up the stew and dished it out to everyone making sure that we left some for Jess for when she got back. As soon as John finished, he got up and went to find Jess. I watched him leave wondering if Jess would believe him and maybe forgive me. I finished my stew and went to put the dish up when I noticed her coming back with John. John was carrying some rabbits, and I decided I might as well keep myself busy and gut them while Jess ate her stew.
“We had the left-over stew for breakfast it’s still warm if you want some” I told her once she reached me.
“Sure, I will just gut and skin these first” she told me as she pointed at the rabbits in John’s hands
“No, you go and eat. I will do that for you” I told her as I took them off John and walked over to a large rock. I started to skin them and soon got hot, so took my shirt off. As I was working, I could feel someone watching me. I turned around ready to alert everyone, when I realised it was Jess who was looking. She had a far away look in her eyes and she was licking her lips. I guess she still finds me attractive after all. She must have felt me watching her back as her eyes shot up to mine, she quickly looked away blushing and gave the rest of her stew to her dog. I turned back to the rabbit with a grin on my face. Maybe all hope was not lost after all, and I did still have a chance with her. I had just finished the rabbit when I noticed Jess walking down to the river with her bowl.
“I will clean this up” John told me “Now go talk to her, I told her I was the one who gave the order for you not to contact her”
“Yes sir” I grinned as I quickly went after her. I found her sat looking out at the river, suddenly she let out a long sigh and dropped her head into her hands.
“I know how you feel” I sighed as I sat down next to her fighting the urge to wrap my arm around her.
“Really? How do you know what I am feeling?” she grunted
“John told me about your talk”
“Right”
“Jess come on I know that you want to be with me. Let down the barriers and let me in”
“I don’t know if I can. After you had not contacted me for a year, I vowed to myself that I was never going to let anyone hurt me like that again. I can’t risk feeling that pain again. It hurt too much”
I would never hurt her again, if John or anyone else tried to give me an order to stay away they could get fucked. I vowed from now I would spend every day showing her how much I love her. I was not leaving, not when I could see a glimmer of hope that she will take me back.