125

125

Amelia's POV

My search was full. Well, at least so far I was doing everything I could to be strong, to try to forget about what had happened and simply push forward, but I just couldn't move myself to stay in the palace any longer. At least not when he would be able to meet me just one day now. But the moment I thought about him, I knew that I couldn't let myself meet him anymore. I couldn't believe he was—that he would sell me, definitely. Because I knew without a doubt that he was going to try to make up again for everything that had happened.

I had trust in him and he had failed. It was as simple as that. I didn't even need to give him a second chance. Because he had clearly showed me the kind of man that he was. I knew without a doubt that trusting him again would only be a mistake.

I told myself that I was trying to find a way for myself. To all, knowing how my family had felt before they died and what exactly had wiped them out. I told myself that I was on a voyage to find out a lot of crucial bits of information, and not that I was running away from anything, that I had kind of forgiven him. And only now I was just cautious and nothing more. This wasn't me sending him to Coventry or ostracizing him; I was protecting myself and going on a mission resolutely and determined to get what I was looking for.

But deep down within me, I knew that I was doing quite the opposite or maybe just a bit of both. But no one was completely separated from the other reason. And if I really wanted to be sincere with myself, I was trying to stay away from him, trying to punish him. Am I sure that I'm not just punishing myself at the same time? I wondered to myself as I sat in the bus stop trying to wait for the bus to arrive.

Time was passing very slowly nowadays and I wasn't about to wait for a second longer, but somehow the thought of auto-dosing for me back home, it filled me with the will that I required in order to last the next 10 minutes or so before the bus would arrive. "Well, it had better come early," I told myself, gruffly, as I checked my watch, knowing fully well that it was definitely not going to keep to time, exactly, and there might be a one minute or two delay, but somehow I was not trying to be circumspecting my population. We hoped that it would show up right on time, a deluded hope, but it remained ignited in me.

The things I'm using to keep my mind off the road, I thought to myself, snarling bitterly as I thought about him. As much as I wanted to learn, which as I didn't want to say anything more, I couldn't help but recognize that I missed him and I missed what we had with each other. And now that we weren't with each other any longer, it was starting to do a number on me.

"Don't worry, I was just tied through successfully," I told myself as I waited for the time to pass by, spending my time on my phone playing a video game. Someone came up to meet me with a phone on his face.

"Are you for the bus? For the bus?" he questioned.

I nodded solemnly. I had gone out in disguise because I knew that he might send some people to find me, and therefore I knew that no one here recognized me as Amelia G. Luna, and as a result, no one was trying to look for me here. Also, I needed to be cautious about how I treated people and extremely respectful and also protective of myself because I couldn't afford to fall into the wrong hands. I was not here to put myself in trouble because I definitely didn't want to need his help anytime soon from now.

"Well, I suggest you take this ticket then," he said, smiling at me.

"I found the tickets. A bus ticket?" I asked him, taking it from him. His smile was to me like some kind of poster. From the way his was to me, I couldn't help but cringe, especially when I discovered that he wasn't here relating to the bus at all, but he was simply offering an advertisement to me like anyone would dare to offer an advertisement to the learner of the park if they knew that it was the learner. But apparently my disguise was working well and also ridding me of all the privileges and advantages that I could have.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks," I said, standing up and leaving, disgusted by his actions. I went to the roadside, walking quietly, but all of a sudden I felt something well up from within my stomach. I quickly rushed over to a couple of shrubs and poured out the contents that were coming up from the depths of me through my mouth.

My eyes widened in shock. "Am I sick?" I questioned in disbelief as I saw the food that I had eaten that was now on the floor in multicolored—the red-dominated color from it.

"No, I can't be," I told myself. There was absolutely no reason for me to be sick. I hadn't done anything to result in that, and at the same time, I had definitely not fallen sick because of the declining relationship between me and the Alpha. No, I wouldn't even accept it if that was the reason. So I shook my head, making up my mind that I would simply ignore this. But I couldn't help but feel like there was more to this.

I continued working, resolved to take a cab this time around just in case my health decided to act up once again. After all, I couldn't have any special treatment in a public bus, but maybe in a cab I could casual the driver by adding more money or something like that. My tummy felt queasy throughout the walk as I was making my way to where the cabs were parked.

All of a sudden, I threw up some speech from my mouth, feeling weird and also accumulated like it was long deal or something like that. My eyes were in shock once again as I closed my eyes, trying to steady myself and get rid of the dizzy feeling.

"Oh my God," I breathed, the sound of my voice really too high-pitched. That is cool, but just a bit too loud for anybody to come around me and give me attention. At least I was able to keep my voice in check just this time because the thought that I had just gotten was terrifying, and it made me utterly shocked and unsure of what to do or say.

Could I be pregnant? I questioned in disbelief, looking at myself in wonder. It was one of the most perfect possibilities, but if—when I thought about it more carefully, it was starting to become more and more possible, especially considering the relationship that I had had with the Alpha prior to all of this. We've had sex with ourselves, and I knew without a doubt that once or twice this strong Alpha might have put his children in me.

"Oh my God," I told myself, shaking my head and refusing to believe it as I started walking briskly. My course changed entirely, and I would go to a hospital. I'll check this out for sure, make sure it was confirmed before I would do anything else. Hopefully, it was just a dream, a figment of my imagination working as a result of the little troubles I was facing. Maybe I was just tired within myself and there was nothing at all. Yes, I chose to believe that. I would believe it until substantial evidence proved otherwise.
It was taking me quite a long time to get there. Maybe my movement speed also had slowed down. I couldn't say for sure. Everything now seemed to be pointing in that direction. Every single little action that I did seemed to be saying the same thing. Telling the same story, even though I chose not to believe it personally.

"Just think positive," I told myself, trying to put away the dreadful thoughts from my mind because it was unbelievable. Maybe I might not have been so surprised about it beforehand. But right now, with the way things were between us, I would rather I had no further affiliation with him any longer because I wasn't sure I could even stay with him for a moment longer. I wasn't sure whether I would stand by his side.

I looked at the large building in front of me, a hospital. Finally, my refuge or my shutter.

"Just tell me what I want to hear," I whispered to myself. "But if the truth is too bitter..."