Yzabelle.
I let go of his arms. My mood was totally ruined. After a beautiful moment, sad and horrible things followed.
When will I ever be happy? Totally happy.
“No, I doubt it, Yzabelle.” Killian pulled me back towards his body. I didn’t have the energy to break away. “I was certain it wasn’t just because of the mate bond. The bond was all about our strength as a couple but that had nothing to do with how I felt for you. It was stronger than the mate bond. It was wilder than the beast in me! I bet even if we rejected each other, nothing would ever change the way I felt for you.”
Killian was proclaiming his whole heart out. And the way he said it seemed like he was singing me a lullaby. It made my heart rejoice. He loved me and I loved him as much. I knew it deep down my heart, my soul.
If I didn’t, then I would not be one hundred percent sure I wanted to come with him if only he would ask me to come and run away from the world.
And Corbin…
Corbin was my mate too. I felt the same powerful pull towards him, that must be the mate bond. Yet, I didn’t feel the same wild need I had for Killian. I didn’t feel the same way towards Corbin.
What was that supposed to mean then?
“Can you get straight to the point you’re heading to?”
“Alright,” Killian cupped my face with his bare hands. “I want you. I want all of you. I don’t want to share you with anybody else, certainly not with Corbin.” He suddenly gritted his teeth just by mentioning Corbin’s name.
“But I was fated to him as well.” I countered.
“Exactly. That’s why I wanted to do the last option.”
I frowned. “And that is?”
He looked me straight in the eyes. “Allow me to turn your wolf into a lycan.”
I was stunned for a moment. I didn’t know how to answer him. I didn’t even know if it was possible. Sabrina said I have my wolf in me that was in deep slumber and I only need to wake her up. But I didn’t know how.
“If I let you turn my wolf into a lycan, will that even help her wake up?”
“Certainly. The transition will be very hard and that will probably help her wake up. Isn’t that a win-win thing?”
I stayed silent for a while. I didn’t know how that was a win-win solution. Even though I became a lycan, it didn’t mean it would cut my mate's bond with Corbin.
And I didn’t want to break Sabrina’s heart if ever I cut my tie with Corbin. Also, Corbin is the future Alpha of Remus Pack. It will weaken him if I reject our mate bond.
I heard Killian sigh heavily. “I know I am being very selfish here but I can’t just let you go. I’ve waited a decade and even traveled another decade just to find you.”
I made a face. “But your sole reason for finding me is to kill me. Don’t make it sound like you work hard to win me.”
Killian groaned guiltily. “Yeah. I admit that was my initial reason,” he didn't deny it, yet his eyes were asking for understanding. “...but everything changed. I didn’t have even a slight intention of killing you, Yzabelle. Even at the very moment I first found you, I doubt it if I really intend to kill you.” He took my hand, squeezed it gently and kissed the back of my palm. I could tell he was having a hard time explaining his side and showing how he really felt.“Ugh! Now that we are in it, I just realized that maybe, deep down in me, I didn’t really intend to kill you in the first place. Maybe, I was searching for you to be with you. Even though there’s always the warning bell in my head that I was destined to be killed by you, I still wanted to be with you, protect you, and love you.”
I didn’t move or say anything. I just didn’t know what to say or what to believe.
But I must admit I admired him for telling me all of this. I was certain he needed a lot of courage to tell me everything. It was his life that was at stake. It was our mate's bond that was meant to be ruined if he didn’t find a way on how to fix this mess.
“And I forgot to mention one thing you should know,” Killian continued. “Your past self created Sabrina. Laura was supposed to be Sabrina. You are supposed to be Sabrina.”
I thought nothing else could beat the surprise I got when he said I was a reincarnation of his fated mate. But what he just said blew me away.
How is that even possible? How come I was two people in my past life?
“That was right. I’ve already told you that Laura tried to change her fate and that’s why Sabrina came and Laura was meant to cease to exist. For her not to vanish, she took her life and got reincarnated without the memories of her past. And there you came.”
“And I was reincarnated as a sin of two lovers from different realms. Am I being punished?”
My eyes turned misty. I thought he mentioned Laura was the favored Luna of Remus pack? She was favored by the Moon Goddess. I was a favored she-wolf. How come I ended up being cursed?
I got up from the bed and wrapped the bedsheet around my body. I didn’t know how to process all the information he was throwing to me. It was too much to handle.
I was used to living a peaceful yet lonely life of being a human. And since Killian stepped into my life, I felt like I rode the roller coaster. Everything was new, unbelievable and unbearable. How I wished I could end the rollercoaster ride…
“You weren’t being punished.” I heard Killian from behind me. “I guess the moon goddess wanted to continue what destiny she planned for you. She still wanted you to be the Remus Pack’s Luna. You’ll inherit Sabrina’s position, that's why the goddess tied you with Corbin.”
I turned to him, totally confused. “But what about you?”
“I was destined to be killed by you, remember?”
If I did that, it would definitely start a big war between lycans and the Remus Pack. How come I was a favored Luna if I would only cause a big war between two packs? My destiny was a punishment, not a blessing.
And if the intention of the supposed war was to protrude the gift she had given me, then, I’d rather not accept it. And I’d rather decline waking up the abilities that Dad mentioned to me. If the trade-off was Killian's life, I’d rather not claim the moon goddess’ blessings.