Killian.
I gulped the last shot of whiskey.
I esd feeling restless again so I decided to have a drink by myself. I’d been like this for countless nights after I saw Laura fade into thin air.
I don’t know why. I had never been like this before. I should be taking life easy since I had assurance that my assassin hadn’t been born yet.
But why couldn’t I enjoy myself? I was looking forward to finally seeing her.
I couldn’t say the feeling was an excitement to kill my mate. It was more of a longing to see her.
Damn it to the pit of hell! But I couldn’t deny it anymore - I longed for my mate.
My wolf was growling and shaking inside me, aching to see her again. I could not tame him even how much I wanted to. I tried to ignore him but we shared the same
feelings.
That’s why it was too hard for me to be in control with this agonizing feeling. Even though I wanted to straighten myself and aim for my goal, I still failed. I didn't know that battling with myself wasn’t that easy.
“Why are you drinking here alone?”
I heard Dad’s voice from behind. But I decided not to look back. I continued getting another bottle of whiskey.
Dad took the stool beside me and got his own glass. I poured him a drink.
“Tell me, what’s going on? After your visit from Remus Pack, I noticed something different in you,” he looked me straight in the eyes. “Don’t tell me you...”
“I think you were right,” I suddenly breathed out. “Killing my mate is such a hard task. That damn mate bond was too powerful.”
Dad was stunned for a couple of seconds. Even though he blocked his thoughts from me, I could still read it from his face. It didn’t make him happy to find out that my mate was from Remus Pack, because that would also mean we'd have disagreements with their good Alpha.
“So, did you attempt to kill her? How did Alpha Evo react to that? Why haven't I heard anything from my men?”
I sighed once more. “I didn’t try to kill her, she killed herself.” My voice was filled with longing and remorse.
It was not the remorse of not killing her with my own hands but that I wasn’t even able to hold her for the last moment.
I didn’t know why it hurt me inside. I should not have felt it that way but the feeling was overpowering me.
“You’re not happy,” he commented. “Of course you are not happy. It will weaken you but it’s better than dying. Don’t worry, son. You’ll be over it. Once you recover, you will be back to normal.”
He drank to the last drop in his glass and poured himself again.
“Good thing you don’t need to dirty your hands. And I don’t want to have disagreements with the good Alpha, though,” He added as if a big thorn had been pulled out of his throat.
“She will be reincarnated,” I said, sipping on my glass.
Dad’s glass was halfway on his lips when he stopped. “How do you know?”
“Saskia told me.” It was a brief answer but I knew Dad already understood what I meant.
“So, her death had some sorcery in it. Is that why you are upset now? I haven’t seen you ever been upset over something. Well, that was something you should be upset about.”
Dad knew better. I would never be upset over nothing. But what he didn’t know was that I was upset over something bigger.
I was upset that my heart didn’t want to kill my assassin.
“Did Saskia tell you when your mate will be reborn?”
I nodded and started explaining to him everything, in as short yet as detailed a way as possible... leaving out the part that Saskia confidently told me I wouldn’t be able to kill my mate. It hurt my pride that a witch would dare tell me something like that.
“Ugh, Saskia was indeed powerful. But not as powerful as we should be concerned of.” he commented as if there was nothing to be worried about.
“Chill out now. You have a peaceful decade to go. You should not be here drinking and getting upset because you haven’t fulfilled your goal yet.”
Yeah, he was right. I should not be upset over something that hasn't happened yet. I haven’t come face to face with her properly. I still have a chance to execute my goal.
But I was not that confident anymore. It was just a few seconds of gaze locking and I was completely affected by it. How much more if I got near her, face to face?
I doubted if I could even give her a scratch. Because that very moment I saw her fading to ashes, I got scared. Not for my life but for hers.
I never felt scared in my entire life until that very moment she was fading away. It seemed like a big part of me was fading away as well.
When I saw her, I felt an incredible strength growing in me. But when she was gone, the strength had been washed away also.
It seemed her presence caused me that indescribable strength I got.
“Hey, Killian? Are you still with me?”
My thoughts went back to my present. I shook my head. I even forgot that I was talking with Dad. I was too preoccupied with feelings that were truly new to me.
“Yeah, I was just thinking of something. Plotting, actually,” I lied.
He would not know since I blocked my thoughts from him.
The Lycan King gave me an intent look, as if looking deep into me.
“Tell me, what happened when you saw her? You mentioned a while ago that I was right. What do you mean by that?”
I sighed. “I don’t know,” I quietly said.
I could not confess to him what I truly felt back there. He might worry that I will not be able to kill my mate. It would put his guard up again, or worse, might be in distress. Who would not be? I was his only descendant who would continue his legacy.
“It’s a powerful mate bond, right? You can’t fight over it,” he concluded.
But why did his voice not sound troubled anymore?