Chapter 101 Living in Igor's shadow
Alessandro's POV
Life knew just when to be a bitch.
It always did
Now I was convinced that I didn't deserve good or sweet things.
Because whenever I had those, they were always taken away from me... Too fast for me to even react.
Like ... Madison.
I couldn't even say her without my heart clenching hard.
She was all I knew these past 9 months. All I had grown fond of.
I breathed Madison.
Now she was gone and my life just felt ...
Worthless.
But not for long because Alessandro Bianchi -
Fuck.
I didn't even know who that was anymore.
Was he the ruthless man that everyone feared or was he the man that tried to give a shot at love?
I hated being in this state.
It was fucking irritating.
Took a lot of will power not to shed more than a lone tear. My heart was aching, shredding.
"Wanna talk?" Nikolai sat on the bench, watching as I threw hard punches at the bag.
My muscles were crying for me to stop but I couldn't. I had to feel something more than rage.
I didn't know what I expected myself to feel but I needed something much more.
"Fuck off, Nikolai."
"Come on. I can be your therapist?" He offered, his voice irking me.
I held the bag, frowning at him. "I don't need a fucking therapist."
"You look like you do. What you faced last week was a lot for the heart." He said.
"Unfortunately, I don't possess a heart." Rolling my eyes, I went back to punching the bag.
"You loved her."
I turned abruptly, groaning when the bag slammed hard against my rib. My eyes darkened with rage. "I didn't fucking love her. She was just there."
"Yeah right." He scoffed. "You know you can stop this feud between families and get your woman?"
"I don't fucking need her. I don't need a liar."
I called her a liar times without number, forcing my bleeding heart to accept her as that.
They say you say something until you believe it.
That I had done severally but still couldn't believe she was actually a liar.
Sure she must've found out and hid it from me because she knew I'd react this way but still.
She should've confided in me.
It would've been better than finding out this way.
I made a fool of myself in front of the whole world. My cousins and uncles mocked me.
My father... Oh he was furious at me.
It was shameful.
I had hooked up with the enemy. The devil.
"And that feud... It continues. She doesn't change shit." I told him, turning back to continue my exercise.
"Let's fight." Nikolai said, asking for a death wish.
I chuckled, folding my arms. "I don't want to kill you."
"I'm quite mad at you too so I think we can even out a bit but yeah, I get to beat the shit out of you." Nikolai said, putting on his fighting gloves.
"Fine."
He asked for it.
"And I'm quite a talker so I'll be venting out my anger, deal?" He smirked.
"Whatever."
We both took our stance, rounding the ring as we glared at each other.
"You know, I used to think highly of your IQ but on that day of your failed marriage, you know what I noticed?"
I frowned, not gracing him with an answer.
"You're stupid." He threw a jab, landing a perfect hit on my jaw. He caught me off guard.
"Watch it, Nikolai!" I growled, massaging my jaw before taking a stance.
More focused.
"Why? Striking a nerve?" He launched forward but I caught his arm, twisting it. He growled, pulling away. "Good one."
I shrugged, cracking my fingers.
"You know, even the dumbest person in the room could tell that Madison was being genuine about not knowing until recently but you... Nahhhh. You were fucking daft."
Angered, I delivered a hard punch to his lips, tearing it.
He nodded, sucking his lips. He smiled at me, showing me his bloodied teeth. "Can't shut me up though."
"It didn't matter if she knew recently or not. She knew. That was all that mattered." I frowned.
"And just what she got scared of, played out. In a very mannerless way." Nikolai's voice rose up. "You should've taken her away from the spotlight and scolded her quietly!"
"It happened in the spur of the moment. I was livid!" I yelled, aiming for his nose but missed.
"You even fucking pointed a gun at her. Real classy." Nikolai scoffed. "You know, that girl loved every bit of you."
My jaw clenched.
"She saw through the monster in you. You hurt her a thousand of times. You made her do things she didn't want to. You put her through hell but yet she fucking stayed!" He smacked my head with his palm.
I gripped his shirt, frowning at him.
He pushed me off him, smoothening his shirt. "It's boxing, Alessandro not fighting."
"Then fucking stick to the rule and don't slap me." I pushed him by his chest. He raised his hands up in defense. "My bad."
Rolling my eyes, I clenched my fist again. "You know you can never see that kind of woman again. You had a gem and you lost her."
"I didn't lose shit."
He blocked my hit, throwing a fast one on me but I caught onto it, smirking.
"I'll tell you something you don't like to hear." Nikolai smirked at me, stopping the fight. "You're living in Igor's shadow."
"What do you fucking mean by that?" I took a step forward, frowning at him.
"It means you keep doing things for Igor and not for yourself. You're just continuing his legacy, thinking you're the new shit but you're not. You're just a boy that's trying to please his fucking ass father." Nikolai struck a nerve.
I couldn't even lie.
Where did that even come from.
My hand clutched around his shirt, my nose flaring. "Repeat that shit again."
"I said, you're living in Igor's - urgh!" He fell to the ground, holding his jaw. "Of course, this is exactly how cowards act when being confronted with the truth."
"Shut the fuck up!" I pointed at him, anger boiling inside of me.
He looked up at me, his whole mouth bloodied. "How about you start being selfish? Start doing things for yourself. Start doing things because it'll benefit you. Step out of Igor's fucking shadow and be a fucking ass man!"
I raised my hand in the air, my other hand holding him up by his shirt.
A heavy sigh left my lips after a few seconds, my hand slowly dropping.
I couldn't give him that satisfaction.
He didn't need to know that his words affected me. That it created new questions in my head.
"Leave the fight and go after your woman, Alessandro. You both love each other. You know it within you."
Chuckling darkly, I tossed the gloves on the ground.
"You said your own part, now listen to mine." Frowning, I glared at him. "Madison is dead to me. She had her time and now it's gone. Her loss."
"Alessandro!"
I turned, walking away from all of those mess.
It didn't matter if I meant everything I said but one thing was clear.
There could never be Madison and I.
It hurt.