Losing mind

Losing mind
Sophie's Point of View

I swear, if I don't lose my mind this year, I'd never lose it ever. A lot has happened in one year that I could barely focus on anything, and ever since that day, I couldn't utter a word.

I swear I tried, but they were trapped in my throat, and the only image I could see was Liam’s lifeless body lying on the ground in a pool of blood. To make matters worse, Lucas didn't even regret it.
Every morning, he eats his breakfast, lunch, and dinner as if nothing had happened.
That was driving me crazy, and not knowing what was happening with Liam made it even worse. I can never get used to a place where people act nonchalantly as if nothing has happened.
That's exactly what Lucas was doing, and I hated him for that.

Liam was his brother, for God's sake. He should be worried and look for him, but no, he didn't even bother himself.

I understand why he hates him so much, but was it healthy for him to act so nonchalantly? I mean, no human being in their right mind would do such a thing, right?

The door to my room swung open, and the sound of footsteps echoed. I lifted the blanket off me, and my eyes widened to see Lucas stepping into the room.
“Sophie, we need to talk.”

I sat up straight, throwing a sharp glare at him. I swear I had started seeing him differently, but he proved me wrong.
“What do you want to talk about?”
I asked. It was the first time I opened my mouth since that day. I couldn't even utter a word before; I was way too shocked to even try.

“We are getting married tomorrow,”
Lucas's voice was void of any emotion.

I froze. He must be joking, right? This has to be a joke for sure. He can't come here and tell me we are getting married tomorrow without even asking me if I want to be his wife or not. He has to be kidding.
“What do you mean?”
I asked, trying to understand what he was actually trying to say. There's no way I'm jumping into marriage after everything that has happened. A deep part of me wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but not this way.

“I mean exactly what you've heard and understood, Sophie. Don't make me repeat myself.” He didn't even give a chance to utter another word, and he was already out of the room.

I ran my hands through my hair, frustration rushing through my veins.
I hated this side of Lucas. He's making a decision for me without even trying to understand what I want. Okay, I admit, I'm attracted to him physically and emotionally, but that doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants with me. I am not a toy; he can't play with my emotions at all.

I got out of bed and rushed after him. I let out a deep sigh when I found him in the sitting room. He was about to step out when I called out his name. He stopped and turned to me.

I walked over to him, my heart racing with something I couldn't understand, but I didn't let it get in the way of my anger.

“Lucas, I know you are the most powerful man in this city, but that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. You can't make decisions for me. I don't want to marry you.”
I'm trying hard to stop the racing of my heartbeat. I hate the amount of control he has over me. One glance from him, and then I'd lose my mind in less than a second. I hated that feeling as much as I loved it.

“You don't want to get married to me?”
His voice was barely above a whisper, husky with emotion.

I stilled as he walked over to me, closing the little distance between us. I could now hear the sound of his heartbeat. The warmth of his breath creased my skin.
I swallowed painfully hard as he grasped my neck, pulling me even closer so that his lips brushed against mine, sending a shiver down my spine. The kind of shiver that is lovable, anyone would want to feel.

“Tell me you don't want me and you don't want to marry me, and I'd stop it all.”
My pulse raced, and all my words got trapped in my throat. I couldn't say it. I wanted him to be mine; I wanted him to make me his, even if it was against my best judgment. But I was crazy for this man, and the thought alone of him being with another woman was too painful for me to bear.

“You want to get married to me as much as I want to, Sophie, but I'm still going to give you a chance to tell me you don't want to. Because once I kiss you, you'll be mine forever.”
He rasped, his lips brushing against mine, his hand on my neck.

Like a fool, I thought I wasn't. I couldn't utter a word. And then he sealed the deal by claiming my mouth in a savage kiss.

He pulled me closer, kissing away all the doubts I had, clearing my mind. I might try to deny it, but I was crazy over this man.
He's the only man who could drive me to the brink of madness with just one kiss.
I hated how weak I became in front of him, or was it the safety I felt around him, the feeling of being whole and at home? He felt like home to me,
and I swear without him now, I don't think I can ever feel this way. But I also hate some sides of him, forcing me to do what he wants, or being nonchalant about many things he does. I hate that side of him; it makes him look like he has no heart, even when he has it.