91

CHAPTER 91

ANNA'S POV

The Sun filtered into the half closed blinds, of Doctor Williams casting a soft golden glow in the room. I sat on the blue couch, my fingers tracing nervously the seams of my blue jeans. The walls was painted and furnished with warm tones, the only difference was the blue couch, the shelves were lined with books and potted plants. I wanted to stand up and pick a book, but I thought against it, because I was too nervous and afraid to stand and act on my curiosity.

Doctor Williams, a black woman who looked young but I'm sure she was older, with kind eyes came into the room with her calming presence. She sat across from me in a leather arm chair. she held a notepad on her thigh, and a pen between her fingers.

“Thank you for coming in today, Anna,” Dr Williams began, her voice steady and soothing to my ears. “I understand that this is, a big step for you.”

I nodded, my eyes meeting her gaze, and briefly darting away to the window. “Yeah, it's…. a lot.” I admitted my voice was barely audible.

Doctor Williams nodded understandingly. “I can imagine. waking up from a coma after all. this time, and after what you've been through. I understand if you feel overwhelmed with everything.”

My eyes were misty, but I blinked them away. “I feel like I'm drowning and I'm scared,” I said to her. “I don't remember anything about the attack. One minute I was at the pastry shop, the next minute I'm awake in the hospital." I said to her,

Doctor Williams leaned forward, her expression gentle. “Amnesia after trauma is not uncommon. Your brain might be protecting you, from the painful details of the attack. What's important is that we work through your feelings and help you find a sense of safety and control again. But Anna, what do you want?” she asked me.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my heartbeat, “I want to remember everything, because that's what is going to help me find my sister, I don't care how painful it is, I'm lucky to be alive but I want to know what happened and who attacked me.” I said to her,

There was a long silence in the room, the only sound was the faint ticking of the clock hung on the wall. Dr Williams allowed my words to settle before she responded to me. “It's okay to feel that way, I respect your wishes and I'll work towards that, Anna I tell my patients to always acknowledge their feelings, no matter what they're.” she told me.

I nodded slowly, still tracing the seams of my jeans. “I'm scared sometimes, whenever I have dreams of the attack it gets worse.”

Dr Williams wrote something down on her notepad, then looked back at me with understanding. “Fear is a natural response to trauma. But it's something we can work on together. We can develop strategies to help you feel safer and have more control of your environment.”

I finally looked at Dr Williams fully. “How can I stop feeling like this?” I asked her, looking at her.

“It'll take time and patience,” Dr Williams explained to me. “We'll start with small steps. Perhaps we can practice mindfulness and grounding techniques to help you stay present and focused. Then we will work on exercises that will help you work on your fears.”

I looked at her, with a glimmer of hope amidst my problem. “Do you really think it'll help? Help me remember?'' I asked her expectantly.

“I do,” Dr Williams replied with a reassuring smile on her face. “But remember you don't have to do this on your own. I'll support you every step of the way. you can do this Anna, you just need to find the strength, don't worry we'll find it together.”

I nodded at what she said to me, “Doctor Williams, I do keep a journal which was suggested by my doctor at the hospital. That 'll help me with my memory loss." I told her calmly.

“That is really helpful and thoughtful, we'll be using it for our next session Anna.” Doctor Williams said to me.

I nodded at what she just said to me, with a hopeful smile playing on my lip. I went home that day with a flicker of hope to return back to myself and recover my lost memories.

My parents sat in front of me, with concern and anticipation evident in their faces, as they looked at me waiting for me to tell them about my visit to the therapist today.

“Mom, Dad,” I began while looking at them. “I went to see the therapist today like we've discussed.”

Mom reached out, placing her hands on mine. “That's good, Mija. How did it go?”

I looked at my dad who nodded encouragingly to me. “It was.. intense,” I said. “But it felt like a step in the right direction. Dr Williams looks capable to me.”

Dad leaned forward, his brows furrowed. “What did you talk about?” he asked me.

I paused and gathered my thoughts. “We talked about the attack, or at least what I can remember. And we talked about how I've been feeling since I woke up. She said it's normal to feel overwhelmed and scared after something like that.”

Mom squeezed my hands gently, “of course Mija. You've been through alot. it's normal to feel that way.”

I nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and sadness. “She said, she can help me feel safer and more in control.”

“You don't have to rush anything, But that sounds like a good plan. we're here for you honey, if you need our help." Dad said to me.

“Thanks mom and dad, you both are the best, I love you both very much.” I said to them,

“And we love you more, Mija.” mom replied to me.

“I'll be visiting the pastry shop tomorrow, it's been a long time since I've not been there.” I said to them,

“Of course you can go, dear just be careful.” Dad told me.

I went to bed that night, with renewed strength to continue. I slept well today without dreaming at all. I stood outside the pastry shop for a little time, before I took a deep breath and stilled myself before pushing the door open. The familiar scent of pastries and brewing coffee filled me, momentarily soothing my nerves.

“Anna,” Tina called out, her voice filled with warmth and relief. Latoye looked up and saw me, we all hugged each other.

“Hey, Anna girl,” Latoye said in a gentle voice. “It's so good to see you.”

Mrs Betty emerged from her office, with a warm smile on her face when she saw me. “Oh my dear Anna! It's so wonderful to see you up and about. I've got your favorite croissant fresh out of the oven help yourself darling.”

I smiled as I hugged her, grateful for the warm reception. “Thank you, Mrs Betty. it's so nice to be here.”

We all settled down at our usual window booth. Mrs Betty brought out the croissant and coffee before leaving into her office, to give us privacy to talk better.

“How're you holding up?” Tina asked me.

“I have been great. Just started therapy." I announced it to them.

“Girl, that good you'll get better I promise you. So how was the date?” Latoye asked me with a naughty look on her face.

I smiled and looked at both of them, “Hey Anna, talk to us.” Tina said to me.

“It was beautiful, and I enjoyed the date and the company. The restaurant was very beautiful.” I said to them,

Latoye, looked at me with a funny look on her face, “And that's it? Nothing spicy or sexy happened?” she asked me.

I was blushing red now, remembering the kiss. “We kissed and it was long.” I told them.

“That's so beautiful, you're getting somewhere.” Tina told me.

“That's it, nothing else happened. what have you learned from me, but it's good there will be another date right?” she asked me.

“Yes, he promised me a second date.” I told them.

We talked about other things, and I left afterwards when it got dark. I was going to the bus stop when I felt someone following me, I quickened my steps, and I looked back and didn't see anyone. it continued until I started running and I felt someone grab me, I screamed and bit his hand, he left me and I ran away breathing amidst pants.