CHAPTER 44

ALPHA MARK'S POV.

I nodded my head, grinning excitedly to myself, hearing her admit that she loved the place was more joyful than just seeing the admiration in her eyes.

“How do you feel about everything?” I went on with starting a conversation as we ate, that wasn't what I wanted us to dwell on for the night, but it was a great start to where I was heading.

She paused for a little while, probably thinking of the best way to say, “I feel good Mark, happy even.” She finally said.

“It is a relief to know that my name has been cleared after all these years. But then the news brought back some bitter moments I have been trying so hard to forget.”

I nodded my head as I scooped more of the avocado that I had salted to my taste into my mouth, “It is all a process, Ava, I want you to understand that,” I replied quietly and there was a brief silence over us for a little while as we ate on.

“Have the thought about coming back to the pack house crossed your mind?” I broke the silence again with my question.

“Isn't that too soon?” She questioned back, “And by the way, does kicking Martha out of the pack house mean I am now welcome back there?”

“It doesn't mean Ava, I mean…”

“It means a lot to me Mark, and if I am being sincere with your question, the thought about returning to the pack hasn't crossed my mind.” She chipped in, cutting me short.

“And what if I Invite you over? You can come around with the children and hang around for a bit so they know their roots and all.”

“Mark, I’ve moved on with my life,” She said, her expression turning serious, “I have walked hard to build something over the years for myself and my children, I like the way things are now for me, I have a lot of peace.”

“Ava, I know how life has been for you, I know how rough it was when it all happened, it was the same for me…”

“You can't compare what you went through to mine Mark, I was banished, humiliated, laughed at, mocked, you name it,” She cut in, her voice slightly raised.

“I went through hell with no one by my side, so don't just sit there and compare what you went through to what I did, because you don't have any idea about that.” She added, dropping her spoon and picking up a wipe to clean her mouth.

I quickly reached out across the table to hold her hands, the conversation was taking a turn I didn't intend it to take.

“I didn't mean it that way Ava, I didn't have to be there to understand the pain you went through, even if I don't know how it went, believe me when I say I understand every bit of it from afar,” I quietly said,

“It hurts me to hear you say that you have moved on while I am still hanging by behind, but I am fine with it, I am fine with the fact that my stupid mistake didn't entirely ruin your life, I am proud of how you were able to beat the situation and make the best out of it, I am proud of you Ava,” I went on slowly, and I could see her eyes beginning to soften.

“Thank you for your understanding, Mark,” She squeezed my hands as she let the words out.

At this moment, our main course arrived.

A succulent, well-tempered beef with roasted vegetables and a rich red wine sauce was placed before us after the waiters had cleared off the appetizer we had earlier served.

Still holding tightly onto her hands, “I want you to know that I never stopped loving you ever, even when I was with Martha, My body was empty because my heart was still with you. I know I made a great mistake, and I have spent every moment after that day regretting it, and looking forward to a day like this where I get to tell you how much I still love you.”

Ava looked straight into my eyes, her gaze filled with a mix of emotions that I couldn't even spell out, I tried so hard not to shy away from her intense stare and held it.

“I have never doubted your love for me, not even for a second of the day, and I wouldn't do that now but Mark, I need time to think about what I truly want, I need to be sure that I am making the right decision, but just for myself but also for the children.” She paused and took a deep breath.

“I don't want to make any decision that would jeopardize both their lives in any way.”

As usual, I understood her and was ready to give her time, but what bothered me was how long it would take her to decide on what she wanted.

“I understand,” I replied softly, my heart aching slightly with the pain, “I have no plans on rushing or forcing you into anything you don't want, just know that I am here, and I am always going to be here for you Ava and the kids, I am never going to leave you again.”

Ava nodded her head slowly, “The children also need a father figure in their life, but I have to be careful with my choices, so I don't do it all,” She replied slowly.

We continued eating, a comfortable silence hanging above us, we both were reflecting on the thoughts running through our minds.

Ava was right, she required time, not just to decide, but to completely heal from the past, which is an important thing here.

And I was willing to give her all the time, I just hoped that my love for her would wax stronger through the time.

Then the children deserve a more stable environment close to their roots with a father figure as Ava had said, and I was ready to provide that for them.

After dinner, I walked Ava to the car, the night was cold and silent with the steady wind rustling against the leaves.

“Thank you for tonight, Mark,” Ava broke the silence between us as we walked.

“And thank you for agreeing to come out with me,” I replied, turning to stare at her, a satisfied look on my face.

I haven't felt the way I am feeling now for a very long time.

She nodded, returning my smile.