Chapter 196 CROSSROADS OF HEARTBREAK
We’ve messed everything up… Just everything. This pup should never have been conceived, but here it is. I fell for him from the very first kick, from the moment I saw his photo. I don’t think I could ever intentionally end the life of something that’s still growing. Percival shares that same sentiment. Our wolves… We’re aware that our pregnancy is causing pain to our partners, and if we could change that, we would. Sorry, I just can’t do it!
I’m really not a fan of myself for everything I’ve done for Anita… It was tough to let her go. Ouch. She definitely managed to complicate my life. I’ve lost both my fathers, the only mom I knew, and my sense of respect and right and wrong. I believe everyone deserves a second chance, and I’m determined to make it up to everyone. This is the true version of me, just being myself, not following Anita’s orders. I was worried Conor might reject me. I’ve always loved Conor as my father, and if he hadn’t said those terrible things to me… Sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t help you with that. They turned me down. I would have accepted his apology if he hadn’t just realized I was mated to an Alpha. I wasn’t sure if he was being sincere. That guy really did a number on me.
I often find myself contradicting my own beliefs when it comes to giving second chances.
I should have been honest.
Man, I really messed up by hurting Edeline like that. Stirring up unnecessary arguments and doing the gross things I did. I’m still going to face consequences for it, but only after the puppy is born. I really hope it is born because I love him. Nixx said he would love him too, that he’d still love me even if I had him.
He’s made an effort to be there for me, but Percival refuses to allow him to be involved. Percival’s wolf is incredibly protective of the pup, to the point where Nixx can’t even come near me because he doesn’t want any other males around his pup. It’s frustrating, and I really dislike it for him.
He really needs to cut it out… He should head over to his friend's place. She’s going through a tough time because of me again, and it seems like he doesn’t realize that his actions are just making things harder for me.
I have to admit, it stings that Nixx hooked up with Mirabelle. He said some things to me that night that made me think he’d be there for me. I hoped he would be, no matter what. It was tough seeing his face when we were confronted about the crimes I committed under Anita’s orders… Yeah, I did them. I couldn’t shake the guilt for keeping what I knew about Darius to myself.
“Hey, Percival,” I managed to choke out, my voice trembling as I turned to face him. He looked up at me, his eyes a sky blue with hints of silver swirling within.
“Hey, you should head over to Edeline,” he said, his tone heavy with concern. “Don’t worry about me. I just need some alone time. She really needs you right now. I appreciate you standing up for me with Nixx, but it seems like you’ve been neglecting her. It’s not fair.”
He sighed deeply and rubbed his face, leaning back in the chair. “I want to… I really do. You know how much I love her. But my wolf won’t let me leave the pup. He’s afraid something will happen when I’m not here. That someone will try to hurt him. Besides, Edeline’s wolf is bloodthirsty; she’s surging forward and Edeline can’t control her much longer. I keep seeing images from her wolf of tearing the pup out of you.” He choked back a sob.
I let out a shocked breath, my hand instinctively reaching for my stomach. “It’s your fault! You shouldn’t have left her! I would have been fine, but your wolf is making things worse with Edeline, and I’m trying to make amends! I can’t do that when you’re making it worse!”
He leaned in closer, his voice soft but urgent. “Hey, no need to stress, Tatiana. Edeline’s made it clear she doesn’t want me around right now. I’m not sure what’s happening, but it feels like our connection is fading because she’s putting up walls and asking me to do the same. She’s worried her wolf might take control and come looking for you. But I really need her by my side. These conflicting feelings between my human side and my wolf are tearing me apart. I want to protect our pup, but I can’t do it without my mate.” He lowered his head, tears streaming down his face. “I really care about her… but she’s hurting and I understand that. I just can’t stay away from the pup, which means I can’t stay away from you. It makes her feel jealous.” He cried openly now.
I sighed, feeling the tears drying on my face. Things were definitely not looking good.
The sudden swing of the door startled me, and I turned to see Nixx standing in the doorway, looking furious and intimidating. Percival sprang into action, ready to defend me from any potential harm. He didn’t want Nixx hanging around me.
“Hey Percival, could you please leave?” I said in a calm, almost casual tone, trying to diffuse the situation.
He gave me a quick nod as he glanced back. “I’ll be right outside.” He shot a look at Nixx as he walked past him, accidentally brushing his shoulder. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at his immature behavior. He really needs to grow up.
Once the door closed behind Percival, it was just Nixx and me. I could feel the familiar tingles running through my body every time his eyes met mine. I sank down onto the bed, cradling my bloated stomach. Tears streamed down my face as I thought about him and Mirabelle… how they were together, sharing moments I never had the chance to experience with him.
But maybe I don’t deserve it.