Returning home

I had barely been able to sleep, I had spent the night looking at that big ring. I would have a wedding dress, and there would be a beautiful red carpet, with Ethan looking down on me, people I love all around me. I really couldn't be happier. Nicholas had asked me so much for a family, and we would have one. I needed to call Vivian and Alice, they would love to know and would want to help me pick out everything in its smallest details. I was so happy. I was so in love. God, I was smiling all by myself, like a silly teenager.

Two weeks later

Colle reached out and grabbed the side of my neck. Neither of us was gentle when he pulled me into his mouth, lips were crushed against each other, tongues not only met, but dueled. He was quick and, with nimble hands, removed my clothes. My breasts met his bare chest, my nipples brushed his skin, my center cried out for him. To hell with the desperation, the need to have him inside me. Then, with a quick leap, I jumped up and hooked my thighs around his waist. Reaching down, Colle positioned me against his cock. I pressed my heels into his ass. Colle penetrated me hard, making me let out a cry of pure pleasure. He fucked me against the wall, and just as I was about to cum, he walked with me across the room and propped me up on the bed, buttocks perked up, holding me up against the bedpost. He slapped my buttocks, making me jump. Then he entered me, and it was so fast that I almost lost my breath. His body on mine was so deep, I had never felt him like this, he thrust into me without gentleness. He pulled my hair, causing me to look over my shoulder at him, and he reached out and grabbed something I didn't see from the dresser. His hand wandered close to my puckered hole with something cold. I moved, strangely at the sensation.

- Shiiii... - his voice was husky and sexy.

- Colle, I don't know... I...

- I promise, baby, I'll be careful, I'll make it taste good to you.

Then he stuck a finger in my second entrance and I groaned, the feeling of intrusion was great, but it didn't really hurt. He penetrated me again, his finger acting on my second hole. A pressure began to build inside me, I rolled over harder. God, it felt good. When he quickly pulled out of me, I groaned and moaned in protest. Colle threw me on the bed without delicacy. I rested my feet on his shoulders as he stretched me hard again, his hands running over my breasts which he squeezed, then sucked and bit, making the nipples red. He stared at me, and for the first time I saw something I didn't recognize. That was not my Colle, he was distant and empty. He grabbed and squeezed my neck as he fucked me hard. It wasn't hard enough to take my breath away, but it was rough; he kept squeezing, then took his hand away and stuck his fingers in my mouth so that I could suck on them. I sucked ruthlessly, Colle moaned loudly. Then he pulled out his entire penis and positioned it in front of my second entrance. His penis was still moist, and he shoved it in, I didn't protest. Another sensation of intrusion caught me, much greater than the first time. It wasn't painful, but the impression I got was that he had the wrong spot. It wasn't bad, which surprised me.

He penetrated me slowly, and looked at me waiting for a negative. When I didn't, he continued. He started slowly, in rhythmic, torturously slow movements. When I started to get used to his immisection, we started pounding hard, it was primitive and tasty. When Colle slipped his finger into my pussy and another one into my clit, he started moving them in circular motions and I came brutally, feeling my body shaking in violent jolts as he continued to fuck me from behind and slipped his finger into my pussy. Then he came inside me, his cock pumping, leaving me full. He finally pulled out of me and my body was overcome with exhaustion. I fell asleep with a sore body.

I woke up with a pain in my throat, as if it was inflamed; my body was sore too, especially down there. I groaned as I tried to get out of bed, my exhausted body protesting.

- Damn it," I said slurred.

I turned with difficulty to the side and found Colle awake, eyes glazed over mine.

- Hey, baby, good morning.

- Good morning, Colle.

- I'm sorry about yesterday... for being so rough. Did I hurt you?

- Wow, you were rough, but you were also WOW!

Wow? - he repeated.

- Yes, it was rough but I liked it, it was different, you were different, you spent the day as if you were in a trance. And then that aggressive sex. I liked it, but you know, something happened?

Colle walked over to my side and sat on the bed

- My father is in a coma. - Colle ran his hands over his face, clearly worried.

- Oh, Colle ... I'm sorry. - I put my hand on his back and stroked him gently.

- Don't be, dear. He was a terrible husband and father, in fact a terrible human being. And there's nothing the doctors can do about it?

- Not really. He was admitted three days ago to a hospital in New York that could provide specialized care for the situation he was in, but his case only worsened, and he was transferred to the city where my mother grew up and where we spent part of our lives after leaving Los Angeles.

- Wow, but what happened?

- What I have been told is that he must have mixed a lot of medication with drink and had a seizure, which was common when I lived with him, but years have passed, and his body is no longer the same.

- Gee, I don't even know what to say.

- It's all right, dear. I really don't care. I just had a moment of weakness, and I'm so sorry for treating you like that yesterday, for being rough with you.

- Hey, Colle... don't. Don't be, everyone has his own way of expressing what he is going through. And in view of what you had discovered, I can't judge you. Besides, it was good, very good actually, I'm just a little sore. - I smiled sincerely. - We can do more of that without you being upset about something.

He smiled at me and added.

- Oh, sure baby... sure.

His smile faded for a moment.

- Will you see him?

- No.

- Colle, if he's dying, I really think you should go visit him.

- Not really, Nicole. There's nothing in the world that would make me go.

- Look, I don't like your father as much as you do, but I don't think this is a good time to dwell on past hurts. Ethan, he's on his deathbed. What if he sent you a message? ....

- His lawyer sent me a message, because of the will.

- So... If he included you in the will, that means...

- That doesn't mean anything, Nicole! He is a terrible person, and I don't want anything to come of him or that part of his family! In all these years they have only brought me pain! I want to forget everything I experienced while I was with them.

- Yes, I understand! But Ethan.... God only knows how much longer he will last...and I know how much you will regret it later.

- Nicole, there is nothing I will regret.

- How can you say that? How? He's your father and he's dying.

- I can do this the same way you blocked your mother out of your life, Nicole.

- Oh! I really don't think you're going to get me into this, Ethan! This is about you! Not about me! I had my reasons.

- And I have mine! - Ethan shouted louder than expected.

Oh. He had never yelled at me before.

- I'm sorry, Nicole. I'm sorry, baby, I shouldn't have yelled or talked to you like that.

- You know what, Colle, it's okay! I'm the one who shouldn't be meddling in things that aren't mine.

- No... you are my fiancée, and I want you to participate. And about my father, I'm not used to him... You know, it's been so many years... and knowing that he is dying reminds me of all that pain.

I looked into Colle's eyes and there was pleading in them. So much suffering, and pain... kept under lock and key.

I'll go, baby... I'll see him.

- Look, really, you don't have to, Colle. I don't want you to suffer anymore. But I also don't want you to have unfinished business with your father. I know he wasn't the best father in the world, but if he's leaving this world, he'd better go with your forgiveness.

- I understand you, Nicole. And that's why I want to go," he said more

more firmly.

- What? Are you really going? - I gave a half smile.

- Yes, baby, I am. But you're coming with me.

- Of course, Colle. Sure, Colle. - I approached him, held his face in my hands and kissed him softly. - And then? Where is the city we are going?

- We're going to northern Tennessee. New Braunfels

- Braunfels? The land of beef jerky?

- Yes.

- What a coincidence. That's where I grew up.

- Is that so? - Colle knitted his eyebrows together in strangeness. - So, Nicole, pack your bags. We're going home.

After much trying I managed to talk to Alice. I didn't have time to catch up on all the issues, but unfortunately she couldn't come back to town to meet me, which disappointed me a little. After so many years I didn't want to have to face all that alone, to look at everything I had left behind, the old streets, the old high school. At least Vivian would be there and was extremely happy about my return, even though I made it clear that it was only temporary. I didn't want to tire Ethan with the old stories of my childhood, he was already too lost in his thoughts and I understood him. There was no time to see his father still alive. He passed away the night we took the flight. We were ready to go to the funeral.

- It's okay for you to go alone, but you don't have to, I'm here.

- I'm fine," he added. - They won't expect me there. So I guess I will go alone. The atmosphere I will face there is not something I want you to absorb.

- I understand.

Ethan kissed my forehead gently and left.

He lost himself for a moment, I could tell. How much pain did he carry? How much of everything? I wished I could take all the pain away from him, but unfortunately it was beyond me.

Later that day, I went into town to buy some things. Maria insisted on staying with Nicholas and I took the opportunity to cool off, how would Colle be? He didn't contact me all day, viewed my messages and didn't answer. I had no right to be angry, I knew that he also needed some time alone. I wanted so much to be with him, to tell him that everything would be okay, but he pushed me away, he preferred to be alone. In a way it wasn't fair for him to be alone all the time, he didn't need to feel lonely. He could count on me, he could cry and scream, I wouldn't mind, nobody should pretend to be fine all the time, nobody should stop crying because everybody thinks they are always fine and strong, it is normal to be weak, to cry and feel pain. I think that, in the end, what matters is not the pains truly, but how you get through them.