Chapter 57 Chapter 57
I wanted to learn something new today because I was extremely bored and the perfect app for learning something new turned out to be YouTube. I wanted to learn about more modern ways of making some dishes or unique baking styles but it made my life feel very caged to being an omega and working in the kitchen, so I fought the urge to not learn anything related to working for these people. I was pondering so hard, trying to think of the perfect new thing to learn but nothing was coming forth.
The room door suddenly opened and a down-looking Alpha Keegan walked on. The way his eyebrows were twisted and curved made it obvious that he was worried and that kicked a strange type of nervousness in me, like I could feel the sadness from his worry.
"What's wrong?" I asked, genuinely concerned. Alpha Keegan had never seemed worried about anything, so it was definitely strange now.
He didn't say a word but walked up to me, got rid of his shoes then laid on the bed beside me, placing his head on my lap.
I lifted my hands, not expecting that but when his eyes met mine, a piercing feeling pinched my heart; his amber eyes looked so innocent and expressed what almost looked like anxiety.
"Is there any problem?" I asked, surprised by his sudden action.
"I'm just really bothered over an issue and I'm trying my best to remain calm about it." He admitted with a sigh.
It seemed like it was going to be a long discussion so I locked my phone screen and shoved it aside, the perfect place my hand could land on was his head and shoulder.
"I don't know but I feel comfortable enough to let you know and I feel like you won't judge me. I don't want anyone else to know their strong and arrogant Alpha is very concerned, it'll make me seem and feel weak and stupid." Did that mean I ought to feel honored? I unconsciously started stroking his hair and it seemed to soothe him as he let out a deeper sigh.
"Like I said before about your tears, you have emotions too. You can be worried as much as you want and not bother about others, at least for a while.."
"If everyone in the pack viewed things from your point of view, then maybe that could be possible. No one would appreciate me if they think I'm worried or I've cried."
A small smile formed on my face as I continued stroking his hair and rested my hand on his shoulder to give it a small squeeze. "It's really fine. Don't overthink it."
He nodded and held my hands, tracing circles on my thumb; it seemed like an unconscious act because he was clearly very deep in his thoughts, while I adjusted to his silence, still stroking his hair and slightly massaging his head, hoping that it was going to soothe him of the pressure he had in it.
We remained completely silent and the way his hands stroked my thumb also made me feel very relaxed and calm, but my curiosity was eating me up as different thoughts on why he was worried and what could make the mighty and strongest Alpha curl up in a ball and lay on 'my' lap for emotional support.
"Do you mind letting me know what's bothering you?" I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He was hesitant, peering into my eyes like he was contemplating whether or not he could trust me. "It's just a stupid family, the Ardolfs. They are very powerful and their chances of defeating me might be higher than before. It's just really scary and traumatizing for me." He admitted with a roll of his eyes.
"Oh... I bet they can't harm you." I didn't understand the depth of the matter so my encouragement sounded dumb.
He chortled and laid on his side so his gaze could be completely fixed on me. We maintained silence again while I tried to stare at everything else except him.
"What the hell are you? Why do I feel so much calmer and more relaxed by your touch and why do I let you know these things?"
"Maybe I'm a goddess sent for that purpose," I teased, wearing a smirk.
"I wouldn't argue about that." He smiled in agreement; his smile felt like he had darted arrows into my chest, it felt so heavenly and nice to see him smile.
To be honest, he looked very cute and like a sweet man from being so wrapped up close to me. Now I couldn't take my gaze off him and it made a sense of bliss fill me.
How could someone be this handsome, sexy, and extremely cute, yet such a demon? By staring at him now and how he was acting, it made no sense that he was the same person that had destroyed my happiness and ruined my whole life. I knew I was still very mad at him and at the moment, it felt like the perfect time to hit him in the head with a hammer to knock out the balefulness in him.
How could he have been comfortable killing my twin sister? I had always dreamt of having a twin, little did I know I had one already that had been killed by this asshole.
My curiosity and anger was getting the better of me, so I asked, "Alpha, can I ask a question?"
"Yes, you can." He said and shut his eyes.
"How many people have you killed and do you know how many lives have been ruined by you in your lifetime?" I didn't know if that was the proper way to ask the question, but I was extremely curious.
He snapped his eyes open and the smile he had on his face turned to a frown as he turned his gaze away from me, still having his head on my lap.
"No response? It's just a question, I'm not trying to judge you or anything. Just let me know the estimated number of people and the most tragic one of the experiences." He could at least remember ruining my whole damn life and my family's. Still, he didn't respond to him, not even a glance in my direction and that made me even more pissed off. "Didn't you ever stop to think of how this is going to affect your pack?" I was making sure my anger wasn't obvious in my tone, I just sounded very calm. "Did you ever stop to wonder how ruining some people's lives would have hurt them so much? Did you ever stop to think that the people you might've hurt had their own lives too and just wanted to be happy rather than having themselves and their family members killed?"
"Please stop asking!" He stared at me with a frown, drawing his eyes in skepticism. "Where the hell is this coming from?"
"It's nothing." I forced a smile, holding in the heat from my rage. "I was just really curious, because I was reading a fictional book about how much the male character destroyed so many lives and still felt comfortable with his life, so I wondered how a real person would be comfortable with it if he had actually done such a thing. And I guess you've killed so many people too..." I trailed off and grinned, giggling. "It's nothing. I was just pulling your legs."
"Don't push me more on the topic anymore. I don't know why but I don't want to get mad at you for any reason." He held my hand in his and squeezed it gently. "Some answers to some questions can only pop up when there's a greater stage of trust between us. Right now, please give me a head massage, I've been having a terrible headache all day long from worrying and thinking about you..." he trailed, catching me off guard.
The fact that he admitted that he was thinking about me made me feel a bit calmer and the need to forget about everything for a while.
I obeyed him and started giving him a head massage." That's more like it." He said with a small moan. "You must possess magic in your hands."
I chuckled and continued the massage.
"Vladimir will be coming soon for work-related nonsense."
"Really?!" A smile formed on my face and remembering Vladimir's sweet comments and how he was such a nice and not-so-serious Alpha made me squeak, clearly pissing Alpha Keegan off.
"You shouldn't be too clingy towards him. I'll be watching you, okay?" He frowned. "Why did I even have to tell you?" He hissed and embraced my waist, resting his head on my tummy and snuggled closer to me. "Just give me a head massage and forget him."
Was he jealous that I was excited to see Vladimir again?
"This time, I'll have to derive relevant information I need to know from Vladimir." He muttered to himself, probably not realizing I heard him.