Chapter 99 You can't see her. - Miguel
I'm back in New York City, and the weather is reflecting my fucking mood. It's snowing, and it's cold..
It's been days since I last heard of Madison.
I want to go over to my old childhood home right now and slice Ben's throat while I watch his blood spill. But if I do, I will be charged with first degree murder and spend the rest of my life behind bars.
Then I wouldn't have the life I've always dreamt of with the woman I've always loved.
If said woman could just answer my texts or calls.
I dial T.J's number for what seems like the hundredth time.
"Cargill." He answers on a sigh. "I thought you got the memo when I wasn't answering."
"You could've blocked me."
"Can't, might need your help in the future." He sighs heavily again. "What do you want?"
"Where's Madison?" I don't beat around the bush. "She's not answering my calls or messages. She hasn't been to work either."
"Stalking much?"
"Cut the shit T.J. If you were in my shoes you would've done the same."
I like the guy. He's great security, not as good as me, but good nonetheless. I trust him with Madison too, they grew up more like brother and sister. But he needs to know I'm not a patient man if the situation asks for it, and he needs to know his place.
"She's with her parents." He answers. "She's not taking what happened to Simon very well."
And probably not what happened to her either.
My brother drugged the love of my life, then he violated her.
The feelings I'm feeling right now can't be put into words. When something like that happens, there's a piece of you that dies, there's shame in your heart.
I've been living with that since I was fourteen, it's become my friend. It has helped me in rescue missions keep my focus.
I won't let that wave of shame drown Madison.
"Can I see her?"
There's a reason she's not picking up. She clearly doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe I remind her too much of Ben.
Aside from our looks, we are nothing alike. I know she knows that, but maybe she forgot a little bit.
Maybe all she needs is reminding.
"I don't think that's going to be possible." There's regret in his voice. "Her parents were quite adamant that maybe she should take a break from your relationship, just until everything with Ben has been resolved."
That is not the news I want to hear.
She flew all the way to Germany to see me. She came to my home. That is not somebody who would want to take a break from me.
She might be hurt, and broken right now, but I know that she needs me. Just like I need her.
And I know what it is like to feel unworthy because someone took advantage of you. Maybe that's why I let Ben pursue her. I didn't think I deserved her then. I had to get away from that house, from that woman before I felt I was enough for Madison.
"Can you make something happen?" I want to know. "Or I will just pitch up to their house."
"She clearly doesn't want to talk to you right now." T.J. sighs again. "It's my job to look after her, please don't make it hard for me."
It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him he clearly hasn't done a very good job in the past, but that would make me sound like an asshole. I have to weigh up my options here. Right now, he's at least talking to me.
"Okay. Please let me know if anything changes." I hang up, sitting on the stairs of a house in the fucking city that actually has a backyard with an old tree I hung a swing on.
I bought the house with Madison in mind. I know this is where she wants her career to be, so I'm here.
I have a house, and a ring ready for whenever she is. Well, the house still needs decorating, I was hoping she would do that.
Guess I have to wait.
Or I can do what I did when she first noticed me.
I can chase her. We both loved it the last time. But I need her out of her parents' house. I could break in, but they probably have a very good security system.
That means I'm going to need Lucille who can get me in anywhere.
Only, I don't think Madison likes Lucille very much.
But I'm desperate here.
I call my former colleague, and she answers on the first ring. At least someone wants to talk to me.
"What's up?" She sounds out of breath.
"Are you training? I can call you back another time."
"You know I'm never too busy to talk to you." I can hear the smile in her voice. "Everyone misses you already, but don't worry, I checked on Valentina this morning and she was doing good."
I knew my mother only needed a change of scenery, and I knew she would be happy in my house.
"Listen, I need to cash in one of my favors. Are you available this weekend?"