Chapter 26 A new person
Deep in my heart I knew that night would be the last time I saw Black. I don't know how, but my soul recognises something in his that is inexplicable.
I don't know the reason why he is torturing us both this way.
I masturbate myself to sleep every single night thinking of him. But even after I cum time after time, it still leaves me unsatisfied. Nothing can replicate that feeling that my soul has clicked into place.
I don't even think of trying to find it with another man, because I know it won't ever be the same. And that's not even talking about Black's threats of killing another man because I know he will.
That guy in the alley was a nobody, but Ben is the son of a senator, and they would surely find out who Black is if he did kill Ben.
I have this inate feeling to protect him, even if I end up never seeing him again.
"I'm going to miss you so much!" Alette gives me a side hug as we walk along the beach.
"I'm going to miss you too." I smile at her. "Hopefully I won't have to see you in this place ever again."
"You won't. Just take better care of your feet. Ice them every day. Alternate with heat patches, stretch them thoroughly, you know the drill."
"Yes mom." I joke, but I appreciate all the help that this place has given me. "Is Raul still here?"
I've requested dinner with him several times, but he has always declined. My instinct is telling me that Raul is not Black. He was just too charming when we had dinner the first time, and I just don't see that as part of Black's personality.
"He left last week. He said to tell you that you can meet up in New York when you get back." She nudges me with her shoulder. "Do you like him?"
"I don't, actually. I was just curious."
"Well, good, because I actually think he has a girlfriend. There was a blonde who visited him quite frequently while he was here."
That makes me pause. Could it be that he really was the one staying in the villa next to me when Black was last here? I saw a woman with blonde hair even though I didn't see her face.
Or maybe it was just coincidence.
These last few weeks I've decided to not guess the identity of Black anymore, or grasp at straws at who he might be.
All I know is that he changed me in ways I never thought I would. I feel stronger in a way I've never felt before. I was always the soft one, even though I had great work ethic, other people's words and feelings always affected me way more than it should.
I would've never told Ben off in the past like that.
Speaking of, he's been blowing my mother's phone up, and she's always had a very soft spot for him, telling me I should at least call him back.
I don't of course. Ben and I are done, and that is exactly what I will tell him when I see him.
The walk back to the resort is quiet, with both Alette and I caught in our own thoughts.
I actually will miss her bubbly personality. Apart from Amelia who is family, I don't have any female friends. I never get too close to the other ballerinas for the simple reason that everything is always a competition.
And I know Alette is an employee in this place, but it was great to have someone to talk to.
"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow." She hugs me extra tight when we stop in n front of my villa that now feels like a second home.
"If you ever need another job, call me." I kiss her cheek. "I'm sure Amelia needs new employees and you're the best."
"I'll take you up on that." She waves before I close the door behind her.
I'm almost packed. I didn't bring a wide variety of stuff and apart from going to the restaurant with my mom only once, I never went anywhere.
The resort was my time to wind down and slow down before I go back to a vigorous training schedule.
There's a knock on the front door. It's probably Alette who wanted to say goodbye one last time or who forgot to tell me something. I was already cleared by the doctor the day before. The only thing I have left to do is leave in the morning, and return to my real home.
I open with a smile, but it disappears when I find Ben and a security guard standing on the other side.
"Miss Smith." The security guard nods at me. "Mister Cargill said you were expecting him, but he wasn't on the visitor's list."
I meet the familiar blue eyes of Ben. I can't deny how handsome he looks with his blonde hair blown across his forehead and regret in his eyes.
He was definitely not on my cards for the day.
"It's okay." I smile at the security guard and wait for him to leave before opening the door wider for Ben to enter with a knot in my throat.
Nerves starts fluttering in my stomach. This is not how I intended for the break up to go. I haven't even prepared a speech yet or anything.
I'm not ready.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as soon as he's inside.
Hurt blooms in his blue eyes and I must be a sucker for punishment, because I feel myself softening up slightly.
"You blocked me." He stated the obvious. "And I couldn't just leave everything at work and come here."
I nod. His job has always been the more important one. Sure, we're both building careers right now, but it would be nice if my job gets acknowledged as well.
I don't move when he walks up to me and tenderly takes my face into his hands. Black's warning goes through the back of my mind, but I don't do anything when Ben bends down and kisses me softly on the lips.
It feels familiar and it feels wrong. It feels like this is not who I'm supposed to be with.
"I'm so sorry I was a dick to you." He whispers. "Please come back, please come home to me."
He hugs me, but I don't hug him back. I can't, because the feelings I once had for him has simmered down to nothing but friendship.
He notices that I stay stiff in his arms and takes a step back, questions in his beautiful eyes. "You're coming home, right?"
I clear the cobwebs from my throat. "I am, my flight is tomorrow morning."
"Oh good!" Relief flashes over his face. "We can fly out together then, give me the details of your flight and I'm sure I can change mine."
"I'm not going home with you, Ben" I try to say with steel in my voice. "I love you, but we're over."