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“Because I’m tired of settling. I want a wife who loves me and wants me as much as I love and want her. I want to be with someone who trusts me and wants me enough to share her fears and her secrets and know I’d never deliberately do anything to hurt her. Lexi, I want a proper marriage. But this isn’t it.”

She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her. His hands tightened over hers, the bug inside lighting up every few seconds. 

“This is my promise,” he stated roughly. “But you have to decide right now if you’re going to keep it or throw it away. The choice is yours.”

Tyler released her hands, staying close because he wouldn’t take that step unless he had to. He saw Lexi's throat work as she swallowed, heard the rasp of her breathing and still he waited for her to speak, to say something, to fight. For them and their marriage, for herself and the future they could have if she’d only try.

But without a word she opened her hands and he watched as the lightning bug lit up and took flight, joining the others around them.

Tyler watched it go, his gut in knots, his lungs burning. Then he turned and walked away from the woman he’d always loved. 

_________

“You looking for something?”

Lexi turned and saw her father staring at her with a knowing glint in his eyes. Two days had passed since Tyler had left. Two long, lonely, horrible days. So why was she still waiting for him to come back?

“No. Just noticing the windows need cleaning.”

“Might as well wait. They’re just going to get dirty again.”

He began loading the last of the boxes that had accumulated from installing the many light fixtures. “Spoke to Tyler today. If you’re interested.”

She feigned indifference. “Good for you two for getting along.”

“I’m checking out early today.”

“Oh?”

“I've got a date.”

Lexi shook her head, so lost in her thoughts she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. “Huh?”

Paul lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “Figured it was time to try again. This whole thing with you and Tyler made me think I should probably give a relationship another chance.”

“Glad we motivated you,” 

Her father continued to stare at her, “You should call him, you know. If you miss him you have to… You didn't give him reason to stay when he was sticking around.”

“But he’s not sticking around now, is he? He left and he's probably back in Olkfield right now, right?”

Even as she said the words, even as she dared her father to answer honestly if he knew, she felt her lungs seizing up. She really wished she hadn’t been proved right, but she’d known all along that he’d leave.

You drove him away. There is a difference.

“That's right.” Her father gave her a pitying stare. “Alexia, you can’t expect a man to abandon his work and job when you won’t give him the time of day. Sometimes a man has to leave to prove he’s worth wanting.”

Lexi blinked, shock ripping through her. “You told him to leave me? What kind of father does that?”

Paul gave her his strictest look. “The kind who wants you to be better than I raised you to be. That boy is a fine man. And if you can’t be a wife, you need to let him go find someone who can. I see the love on your face when you look at him but your damn pride and fear is getting in the way. You pushed him away but you want him. Be woman enough to admit it.”

He waited, then shook his head at her silence. “Lexi sweetheart. Time is wasting, girl. Love doesn’t come around often and when it’s right in front of you, a person needs to hold on with both hands before they lose it for good. You really want to spend your life alone? Think about it.”

__________

Lexi sat in her darkened living room when she heard the squeal of tires and a low thump. She set the cup of tea aside and got up to look out the window, barely catching sight of the vehicle crawling along before it took off with a rev of the motor. What had they hit? The steady rain obscured any sign of movement by the road.

It wasn’t the first time an animal had been injured near her yard. With all the deer, rabbits, raccoons and forest creatures, it was inevitable that something was hurt or killed. It was probably one of them. Which meant another burial. She couldn’t stand to see them lying there day after day.

Lexi searched for the flashlight. If nothing else it would distract her from thinking about what her father said regarding Tyler. What if he never came back to Nemford? It’s what you wanted.

But was it? Really? Her father’s words had hit home.

Lexi grabbed a jacket off the hook by the door, hurrying out into the rain. She dodged mud puddles as she walked around the side of the house and down the driveway. 

Then she saw it. Lexi's breath froze in her lungs when she saw the fawn lying beside the ditch where she’d wrecked. The force of the impact had knocked the baby deer clear across the divide and into her yard. It wasn’t moving. Chest hurting, she knelt beside it and put her hand on its tiny form. Dead.

Lexi gulped in air, unable to get enough. This was a fact of life. It happened all the time. But the little fawn…it was so tiny. Still spotted and soft and small. Rain swept into Lexi's eyes and stung and even though she told herself to wait, to let her father bury the deer tomorrow morning, she couldn’t leave it there. It wasn’t more than a week old, maybe not even a few days old. She could carry it.

Lexi ignored the sickening twist of her stomach and lifted the baby deer in her arms. It was all legs, no weight, and she sludged through the mud of her yard, down to the shed in back. Lexi picked a spot, retrieved the shovel and set to work. The rain-softened ground made it easy. The fawn was so small it didn’t need a big grave, but before she had a hole dug, her back ached, she felt blisters on her hands and every inhalation was a struggle.