Chapter 57 57

Chapter 57 57
“Wake up… Azxel…” Jaelen called after a whole full hour of him staring at Azxel’s sleeping face.

“Give me five more minutes…” Azxel whined, pulling Jaelen closer, wrapping his arms tight around his waist like he never wanted to let go.

Jaelen couldn’t resist Azxel. The way Azxel’s face pressed into his chest, and his warm breath against his shirt, made his heart do that stupid flip it always did. But it was the day for his next therapy session. The appointment was in two hours, and traffic could be bad.
“Azxel,” Jaelen said softer, running fingers through Azxel’s messy hair. “We have to leave soon. Dr. Ash is waiting and mum could scold us.”

Azxel groaned, burying his face deeper. “Tell him I’m sick or dead. Or maybe both.”

Jaelen huffed a small laugh. “You’re not dead Zel. And you’re not sick.” He gently pried Azxel’s arms loose and sat up, pulling Azxel with him. “Come on, take a shower first and I’ll make breakfast after.”

Azxel sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes like a kid. His hair sticking up everywhere. “You always make breakfast, just let me sleep instead.”

“No sleep.” Jaelen stood, tugged Azxel’s hand until he was standing too. “Shower. Now.”

Azxel pouted but followed Jaelen to the bathroom. They brushed their teeth side by side at the sink. Azxel kept bumping Jaelen’s shoulder on purpose, trying to make him smile.

Jaelen did smile a bit but it didn’t look real. Under the shower, Azxel leaned against the tiles while Jaelen washed his hair, gently massaging Azxel’s scalp slowly. Azxel closed his eyes, letting the water run down his face.

“You’re so nice to me,” Azxel muttered.

Jaelen rinsed the shampoo with a smile. “Someone has to be.”

Azxel opened his eyes, looking at Jaelen through the steam. “You don’t have to do all this… everything.”

Jaelen turned off the water, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around Azxel first. “I know but I just want to.”

Azxel stepped out, and dried off slow. “What if I don’t want to go today?”

Jaelen paused, wrapping a towel around his own waist. “You don’t have to want to. You just have to go.”

Azxel sighed. “Fine.”

They dressed quickly with Azxel in Jaelen’s hoodie again, he had gotten used to Jaelen’s hoodie. The little smell in it always calm down his senses. Jaelen wore a simple t-shirt and jeans.

Jaelen made scrambled eggs quick with toast on the side. They ate at the table, Azxel picked at his food, with a low appetite.

Jaelen watched him. “Are you ok? Don’t you like it?”

Azxel nodded. “I do… but why do you give me eggs every damn time? I’ll start loosing appetite.”

Jaelen reached across, and smacked his forehead gently. “Eat whatever you see.”

Azxel looked up like he was about to say something but he didn’t argue. He finished his eggs and the toast, then he pushed the plate away.

Jaelen cleared the table, washed the dishes fast. Azxel stood by the door, waiting with his hands in the hoodie pockets.

When Jaelen was done, he grabbed the car keys. “Ready?”

Azxel nodded. “Yeah.”

They walked out together. Jaelen locked the door and Azxel got in the passenger seat first. Jaelen started the car.

Azxel’s hand found Jaelen’s thigh right away and stayed there. Jaelen covered Azxel’s hand with his own.

They drove in quietly. Jaelen pulled into the hospital parking lot and found a spot, then he cut the engine.

Azxel didn’t move to get out, he turned to Jaelen instead. “You’ll wait for me right?”

Jaelen smiled small. “Always.”

Azxel leaned over, kissed Jaelen quickly and softly like he was telling him, thank you. Then he got out.

Jaelen watched him walk toward the building, as he sat in the car with the engine turned off.
Waiting like always.

Azxel pushed through the glass doors. The lobby AC blasted cold air straight at him. Smell of disinfectant and hit his nose. The receptionist looked up and gave her usual small smile.

“Good morning, Azxel. You came late today, Dr. Ash is ready.”

Azxel nodded but didn’t say a word. He walked through the hallway, his sneakers making soft squeaks with every step.

He knocked once on the office door, then opened it. Dr. Ash was already sitting in his chair, notepad on his lap, pen resting beside it.

The room was quiet, with the normal two chairs facing each other.

“Azxel,” Dr. Ash said calmly. “Come in. Take whichever seat feels right today.”

Azxel sat in the same chair as always and pulled his hoodie sleeves over his hands. Looked at the floor for a second, then at Dr. Ash.

Dr. Ash smiled gently. “How has your week been?”

Azxel shrugged one shoulder. “Okay. The same as usual.”

Dr. Ash nodded slowly. “Same can feel different sometimes. Anything stand out for you?”

Azxel thought for a moment. “I think, I’ve been sleeping more and talking. I’m more lively and the rest.”

Dr. Ash leaned forward slightly. “It sounds like Jaelen’s presence makes you steady. How does that steadiness sit with you?”

Azxel looked at his hands. “I’ll call it comfortable and scary like if I lean too hard he’ll break or if I don’t lean at all I’ll fall apart.”

Dr. Ash nodded once. “That push and pull is real. It’s okay to feel both at once. You don’t have to choose one feeling today.”

Azxel exhaled through his nose. “Uhh….. today, I woke up feeling… off. Like something was missing. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t even want to come here but Jaelen got me up and I found myself here.”

Dr. Ash smiled small. “He helped you come here even when you didn’t feel like it. That’s a kind of support. Does it help when he does that?”

Azxel thought. “Yeah. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I’m glad. Today I’m… I don’t know, I think, I’m ok or maybe glad.”

Dr. Ash wrote one short note. “Glad is good and It’s a feeling you can hold onto. What else came up for you this week?”

Azxel shifted in the chair. “Quiet moments like, when we’re just sitting, eating, walking. It’s just… being there and… It feels weird.”

Dr. Ash’s voice stayed gentle. “Quiet can be new especially if loud has been familiar for a long time. How does quiet feel in your body?”

Azxel paused. “Can you stop questioning me? It’s getting annoying.” He shouted with pure anger etched on his face.. he had held it in for long since the beginning of the therapy because Jaelen had told him to but he couldn’t bear it anymore.

Dr. Ash paused. His face stayed completely calm with no change in expression, no sign the shout had rattled him. He set his pen down slowly on the notepad, leaned back in his chair just a fraction, his hands resting open on his lap.

“Okay,” he said quietly. “I won’t ask any more questions.”

The room went silent. Azxel sat rigid, his fists balled in his hoodie sleeves, and his face flushed hot, breathing hard through his nose.

The anger still burned in his eyes, jaw locked tight. Dr. Ash didn’t speak again. He just sat there, giving Azxel the full space to feel whatever was coming up.

Azxel stared at the floor, his chest heaving. Minutes passed by and Azxel’s breathing started to slow. His fists unclenched a little and his shoulders dropped.

Dr. Ash glanced at the clock, “We can end here,” he said gently with no judgment in his tone. “You did what you needed to do today and that’s enough.”

Azxel stayed quiet as Dr. Ash closed his notepad. “Same time next week?”

Azxel huffed and walked to the door without another word. He stepped out of the hospital and Jaelen was waiting in the hallway, leaning against the wall, with hisphone in hand.

He looked up when the door opened, his eyes scanning Azxel’s face quickly seeing the red cheeks.

Jaelen smiled at him and just pushed off the wall taking a step closer, and took Azxel’s hand. “I left the car to wait for you here, you are done right? Let’s go home.”

Azxel let him hold his hand even as he was tempted to pull away. They walked out together. In the car Azxel got in the passenger seat and Jaelen started the engine.

Azxel’s hand went to Jaelen’s thigh like before and stayed there. Jaelen covered it with his own palms again and they drove home quiet.

Azxel stared out the window the whole way and didn’t say a word to Jaelen.
When they got home Jaelen parked, cut the engine. Azxel didn’t move to get out right away. He turned to Jaelen slowly, “Let’s go inside,” Jaelen said.

Azxel nodded and walked in without a word. He then went to his room door with Jaelen trailing behind him.

He went in and when Jaelen was about going in with him, he smacked the door to his face.

“What the hell?” Jaelen screamed.