Chapter 56 56

Chapter 56 56
“Azxel, Azxel… Have you thrown me away? Have you forgotten about me because you went home? Did Jaelen make you…”

“Sky, I miss you,” Azxel said, running towards Sky.

Sky stood far across the open field behind the house in a black hoodie, his hands placed in pockets.

The afternoon sun beat down hot, grass tall and dry under Azxel’s feet. The distance looked close at first, but every step Azxel took made Sky seem farther away. The field stretched wide, the fence line in the background getting no closer.

“Sky, wait!” Azxel shouted, his voice cracking in the open air. “Wait for me!”

Sky smirked slowly, then started walking backward, his eyes fixed on Azxel with a smile. He didn’t run, he just moved steady, like he knew Azxel would chase after him.

Azxel’s chest squeezed tight. Fear hit hard, he couldn’t lose Sky. He broke into a run, his legs pumping through the grass and his breath coming out in gasps.

Sky laughed slowly, all of a sudden he went loud and wild like a maniac, echoing across the empty field like it came from inside Azxel’s head.

Azxel pushed harder. “Sky, Sky.. Sky – please—”
Sky stopped abruptly. Azxel reached him, wrapping his arms around Sky’s waist and pressing his face into Sky’s hoodie. He held on tight, squeezing like Sky would disappear if he let go.

But the hoodie felt empty, the normal warmth he always felt with Sky wasn’t there. Azxel opened his eyes to find out Sky was gone.

Azxel jolted awake, gasping, his body jerking up on the bed. The afternoon light slanted through the curtains in Jaelen’s room. Jaelen’s arms slipped off him.

The mattress dipped as he sat up straight. “Sky…” Azxel whispered, his voice coming out low and small.

Jaelen sat up beside him. His face dropped for a second, his eyes shadowed and then he forced a small smile.
“Hey,” Jaelen said quietly. “Bad dream again?”

Azxel stared at the wall, breathing hard. He nodded once.

Jaelen reached over, brushing Azxel’s damp hair back from his forehead. “Come here.” He pulled Azxel close, wrapping his arms around him, and placing his chin on top of Azxel’s head. “It’s okay. Just a dream. I’ve got you.”

Azxel let himself lean in, let Jaelen’s warmth push some of the cold away, but Sky’s laugh still rang in his ears. They stayed like that until Azxel’s breathing slowed. Jaelen kissed the top of his head once, then sat up.

“Let’s go out,” Jaelen said. “Let’s get fresh air at the field behind the house. You’ve been down since you woke up.”

Azxel didn’t argue. He nodded, pulled on Jaelen’s hoodie again, and followed him outside.

The afternoon sun was hot but not too bad. They walked the short path from the backyard to the open field nearby, Jaelen kept their pace slow, with his hands in his pockets.

After a few minutes Azxel spoke in a low voice.
“I saw Sky in my dream.”

Jaelen glanced at him but kept walking.
“He was far away from me and worst if all, he kept walking back as if he was running from me. Maybe he was.” Azxel chuckled. “But I’m so pathetic that I ran after him and told him to wait. But guess what? He just laughed like it was a game. Then I reached him and he disappeared, I mean, he was gone.”

Azxel stopped in the grass. Jaelen stopped too.
Azxel looked down at his feet. “I called his name when I woke up, I know.”

Jaelen turned to face him. His expression stayed calm, but his eyes were careful.
Azxel swallowed. “I’m scared he’s leaving me for real. That he’ll disappear like that and I won’t get him back.”

Jaelen looked at him for a long second, then he smiled softly, the kind that hid everything underneath. “Sky wouldn’t leave you,” Jaelen said quietly. “Trust me. You have to believe that.” He said it even though the words tasted like grass. 

Azxel searched Jaelen’s face. “You really think so?”

Jaelen nodded once. “Yeah. He’s a part of you. He can’t leave unless you make him.”

Azxel exhaled shaky. “I don’t want to make him leave me. I have been good to him, I don’t want him to leave. I won’t let him leave.”

“Then don’t.” Jaelen reached out, took Azxel’s hand, laced their fingers together and they started walking again through the field.

Azxel held on tightly. Jaelen smiled again for Azxel’s sake and kept walking beside him like nothing inside him was breaking.

Azxel turned to Jaelen again, clearly uncomfortable. He stopped walking again, pulled his hand free, and wrapped both arms around himself. “What if he does leave me? What if one day I wake up one day and he’s just gone?”

Jaelen turned to face him fully. The smile he had been holding slipped a little, but he caught it quick.

“He won’t,” Jaelen said. “Sky’s not the type to just vanish without a fight. You know that better than anyone.”

Azxel looked up at him, eyes searching. “You sound so sure.”

“Because I am.” Jaelen stepped closer, close enough that their shoes touched. “If he disappears, it’s because you let him. But you’re not ready to let go yet. So he stays.”

Azxel swallowed hard. “But you won’t leave me right?”

Jaelen look shocked at Azxel’s words, he took a step behind and catched himself for a moment before he reached out again. This time he cupped Azxel’s face with both hands gently, brushing his thumbs at the sides of Azxel’s cheeks. Azxel didn’t pull away. He leaned into it a little, his eyes closing for a second like the touch was the only thing keeping him steady.

“I’m scared,” Azxel whispered. “I’m scared of what happens if Sky leaves and I’m left with… just me and just everything I was before him.”

Jaelen’s throat moved. He kept his voice even. “You won’t be alone if that happens. You’ve got me remember, you’ve always had me.”

Azxel opened his eyes. Looked at Jaelen like he was seeing him for the first time in a while. “You never get tired of it? Of me… talking about him?”

Jaelen’s smile came back, smaller this time, but real. “No. I don’t get tired.”

Azxel stared at him longer, then he stepped forward, closed the last bit of space, and pressed his forehead against Jaelen’s shoulder.

Jaelen’s arms came around him automatically, holding him close. They stood like that in the middle of the field, two boys in oversized hoodies, sun beating down.

After a while Azxel mumbled into Jaelen’s shirt, “Thank you.”

Jaelen rested his chin on top of Azxel’s head. “For what?”

“For not leaving. For staying even when I call his name instead of yours.”

Jaelen closed his eyes. Breathed in once and slow. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They stayed like that until the heat got too much. Azxel pulled back first, wiped his face with the sleeve of the hoodie. His eyes were red rimmed but clearer.

“Let’s go back,” he said. “I’m hungry.”

Jaelen nodded. “Eggs again?”

Azxel huffed a small laugh. “Yeah, your eggs.”
They turned and started walking back toward the house, hands linked again.

Jaelen squeezed Azxel’s hand tighter.
Inside the house, Jaelen went straight to the kitchen. Azxel sat at the table, his elbows placed on the wood, watching him crack eggs into the bowl and whisking them fast.

Jaelen humming low under his breath filled the room.

Azxel rested his chin on his hands. Jaelen plated the eggs, added toast, carried both plates to the table. He sat across from Azxel, pushed one plate toward him.

Azxel picked up his fork and digged in.

When evening came, Jaelen threw the curtains down and went to bed with Azxel. Azxel curled into Jaelen’s side without hesitation.

Jaelen wrapped an arm around him. Azxel fell asleep first. Jaelen stayed awake a little longer, staring at the ceiling. He whispered into the quiet room, so soft; 

“Please don’t make me lose him too.” Then he closed his eyes.