Chapter 58 June’s POV

Chapter 58 June’s POV
June’s POV

It was a strange feeling, even though it was difficult to admit. Everybody knew something about my life, except myself. 

When I said 'everybody,’ I actually meant Lucien. He knew exactly how to control me. He knows how to manipulate his way into my life, and it has been a very big disadvantage for me. 

The previous night, I thought I would be able to chase him away. I thought that I would be able to stay a few distances away from each other. 

But I was only deceiving myself. I didn’t know before I welcomed him into my bed and the next morning, I was lying in his arms. I couldn’t even remember how long it was in the night.

I couldn’t remember what happened, but I knew that something had happened between us and I didn’t want to think about it too much. 

But after he had left, everything was no longer the same. My house felt completely different and the feeling of walking into a room annoying something was wrong, but you don’t know what was wrong, that feeling was gradually eating me up. 

I don’t know how long it’s going to last because it’s obvious that I can’t just do away with all of this. Inside of me, I knew that there was something wrong, but staying away from that thing was a big challenge.

I got prepared and left for my office that morning. 
Standing outside the office hallway, my hands were still on the glass door and people were inside talking just like they always did. Everywhere was vibrating with noise and even the ringing tone of phones was causing a lot of noise. 

It was normal for it to happen. That was a regular day at work.

But that’s the moment when I stepped inside, everything changed. Even though it was small. A deaf person would recognize that the atmosphere had suddenly changed because I entered the office.

Their conversation started again but this time, their voice had suddenly gone lower than they used to be. 

It was then that I noticed that someone had suddenly stopped laughing. They were still talking when I entered the office, and their voices were very loud. But now, it had suddenly dropped into a whisper.

I froze for a second, forcing a smile I didn’t feel.

“Good morning,” I said. 

This wasn’t because I had to greet them. It was because I wanted to communicate with everyone and not try to feel isolated. 

Just a few people answered me and I wasn’t surprised because some of the staff thought I was an enemy. After all, I was having issues with their boss.

“Morning, June.”

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Different voices echoed but their eyes didn’t stay on me for long.

They always used to.

I did not waste much time there with them. I just took a deep breath and then walked to my desk slowly, my heels sounding louder than usual against the floor. Each step felt like it was echoing and I didn’t even care. 

If it was going to cause them trouble, then it was perfect.

It's also possible that I was overthinking everything and they were all just in my head. Just try to stay relaxed and everything will be fine.

Those were Lucien’s words 

I sat down and turned on my computer, trying to act normal. Trying to be normal. But it was not just working. I could still feel the pressure and something was completely off.

I glanced to my left. My colleague was there, typing. Usually, she would already be telling me about something, her boyfriend, a new show, or office gossip.

Sometimes I really wasn’t interested but today, I was curious about what was happening. It was obvious that it wasn’t just about me anymore. 

“Hey,” I managed to call out, although my voice was very low.

She paused, then turned with a small smile. “Hey.”
But her face wasn’t the same. She didn’t have that usual smile on her face. She could have also started with a story and yet she just chose to answer me with “hey…” 

I frowned slightly. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said quickly. “Just busy.”

That was another excuse that I didn’t buy. Busy was never an option to interrupt us from talking.

Before I entered, they were all talking and now, they are all busy. 

“It’s fine,” I nodded slowly and turned back to my screen, but my chest felt tight.

This wasn’t normal.

I thought that it was going to end, but that was how it continued all through the morning. 
Everybody was just minding their business and the gossipers did not stop. They were just whispering to each other.

I tried as much as possible to focus on my work, but it was difficult to get my eyes away from them.

Every single thing they did, I was noticing it. 

Two people near the printer leaned close together.

“She’s here,” one of them whispered.

“I know,” the other replied.

Trying to get your eyes away from me, but I already knew they were looking at me and I could hear what they were saying and it made my stomach twist. 

What did they even hear? They meant me. Didn’t they?

I looked down quickly when one of them glanced in my direction. My fingers hovered over my keyboard, but I wasn’t typing anything.

What were they saying?

I was very curious to know what they were talking about and that thing that they knew because it was just burning for two days and they had already tagged something new to me.

I took a breath and continued with what I was doing. It could be that I was overthinking again.

Thinking too much made everything worse, and I was getting tired. I was getting tired of the drama.

I knew that I was getting worked up, especially going to the hospital coming back and then I had to go to work first thing in the morning.

The hospital smell was all over me, and I didn’t think that it was going to leave me anytime soon.

Even when I try to sleep, all I think about is my mother.

The stress could be coming from there. 

But I didn’t want to think about it too much because I was taking care of my mother. And nothing can ever be compared to her.

If not for the drama that Declan and Withney was bringing up, I would definitely be happy. 

Whitney was the cause of all the trouble and I wouldn’t stop blaming her for that.

I closed my eyes for a second, and the memory came back too easily.

My mother was lying in a hospital bed, looking smaller than I had ever seen her. But I still had high hopes for her getting better someday. It shouldn’t take too long any further. 

“June,” she had said softly, her voice weak but still sweet to listen to. “You need to rest.”

I shook my head a couple of times, holding her hand tightly. “I’m fine.” But deep inside of me, I was tired.