Chapter 57 How many of those have you had?
NEW YORK CITY
Saraphina
My heart broke for the very first time three years ago. It was the most awful and the most wonderful thing I have ever lived through. Calling that breakup brutal does not even come close to describing it.
I still remember the last thing he said to me. "If you are lucky, you are only gonna see me at Thanksgiving, weddings, or funerals." That messed me up for a long time. I would imagine coming home for Thanksgiving five years later and seeing Ryan again for the first time. Maybe he would have some girl with him. Then maybe he would get married. And I would have to be there, watching him stand at the altar and give his whole life to another person. Those thoughts were worse than any nightmare.
I used to think a person only gets a set amount of happiness in their life. I believed I used up every bit of mine that summer with Ryan. So for the longest time, I was convinced I would never be happy again. I thought my life was finished at eighteen.
But I was wrong. I made it through, and I owe that to three people: Cole, Elle, and Noah.
For the past three years, Cole has not left my side for a single day. I mean that literally. I had to push him out of my apartment because he would not let me be alone. He kind of became my mother. He stayed up with me on the nights I could not sleep, he fed me every kind of junk food I wanted, and he was basically my own personal therapist.
Then there was Elle. She inspired me. She told me her own story about a broken heart, and how she turned that hurt into a song. She was the one who told me to turn my pain into art. So last year, I started writing a novel. I wrote about our love story, about that summer. Writing that book actually helped me move forward. It is funny to think the same love story that shattered me was also what put me back together.
And Noah. Noah was sweet, charming, and British. About six months after Ryan and I ended, I started seeing Noah. We had something, but it was nothing like what I had with Ryan, not even close. After three months of trying, we called it off. We stayed friends, and I am truly thankful for him. Because even though it was not deep and did not last long, he showed me there could be a life after Ryan Jake Williams.
What was that life like, you might ask? Honestly, life after Ryan was… surprisingly normal. Even boring. With Elle and Cole constantly pushing me to try online dating, I went out with a few other guys after Noah. But somehow, nothing ever really clicked. My friends say I just have not met the right person yet.
Or maybe Ryan just ruined me for anyone else. God, what a fucking depressing thought.
Speaking of him, I have not seen or spoken to Ryan in three years. That phone call was the last time we ever talked. For a while, I checked his social media and read about him on surfing websites. He did pretty well for himself, winning some big titles in Asia and Europe. But one day, I saw an article saying Ryan was dating an Australian bikini model. So I stopped looking him up completely.
Ryan only exists in my memories now. And I poured all of it into my novel. That book holds my heart and soul, and I am so glad people have loved reading it as much as I loved writing it.
So yes. One devastating breakup, three incredible friends, and three years later, I became Saraphina Livingston, a twenty-one-year-old published author.
Today was my very first book launch party. This was all Cole’s idea. He arranged everything, finding the right contacts and promotion deals for my book. He totally showed up my actual publicist.
Cole decided we should have a theme: a 1920s Great Gatsby party. I wanted something quieter, but Cole insisted on going all out. So we all got dressed up, rented his uncle’s penthouse in Gramercy, and partied like it was the roaring twenties.
So here I am, standing under a huge, glittering chandelier. Jazz music fills every room, champagne bottles are being passed around freely, and everyone is having a great time.
"Can I get my copy signed now, or do I have to wait in line?"
I turn to see Elle, looking as glamorous as ever in a red satin dress. She has a glass of champagne in her hand, and judging by her pink cheeks, it is not her first.
"Elle!" I run over and hug her tightly.
"Congratulations again on the launch. This party is unbelievable, and you look incredible! Whoever helped you pick that dress is a genius," Elle says, pointing to my dress. I am wearing a crystal-covered dress like the one from the 2013 Great Gatsby movie.
"Well, thank you. And you are the one who helped me pick it out, remember?"
"Then I must be a genius," she laughs, and I roll my eyes at her.
Elle is having trouble with her steps. I catch her before she spills her drink everywhere.
"Okay, Elle. How many of those have you had?"