Chapter 38 38
Alpha Knox~~
My mate has been acting so strange and sometimes ridiculous. I didn't want to believe that the lady whose family I caused their death had just forgotten about them and moved on in just two months. She hated me so much, and even though it hurt me, I still thought it was best for her.
I didn't want her hurt, so seeing to it that she doesn't ever stop hating me was the goal.
There's this saying that a severed matebond could lead to death, at times, if not taken care of. If I died after marking her, or went feral if I fell for her, then the bond would be severed suddenly. These could hurt her in any way.
But apart from that, for my own peace, I needed to steer clear of her. I didn't want to go feral or die yet for the sake of my people. There were lots of the masses that depended on me for survival, and my death or whatever incident could shock them to their death so soon, and I wouldn't like that.
Now that she was acting all lovey-dovey as though what I did to her family didn't matter, what would that be called? I knew the matebond could be at work, and rejecting her would as well cause her pains which I didn't want her to experience. I had thought leaving the matebond intact, but being enemies with her would work, and at this time, I wasn't sure if leaving her alive was the best choice.
If I had hardened my heart, rejected her, and thrown her into that furnace with her family, I wouldn't be overthinking right here. I just didn't want my mate to be hurt. I wanted her to live, not just because of the matebond, but because she was innocent and shouldn't feel the pains of what she didn't know. I truly loved her and wouldn't stand her dying before my eyes, but even her staying alive was a big trap for us.
My madness or death could lead to hers if I decided to love her no matter what. Rejecting her would hurt the fuck out of her, and I wouldnt stand watching her in those pains. But hating her was something I couldn't do, no matter how much I tried. My wolf wouldn't even let me, despite knowing what we were dodging.
This woman seduces me so easily. I lose control towards her so easily, and I always end up regretting it. The last thing I want to do is push her away when she clings to my skin like she has been doing. I want to be in her, fucking her like my mate that she was. I wanted to hear her moans repeatedly and her plea for more.
If not her family, why would I tag my ever-loving mate my enemy? She had been the best thing to ever happen to me, but I've finally learnt that good things never come freely.
After she left to prepare the meal she talked about, I mindlinked Levi, and he returned to the room. Something was troubling me, and I just needed someone to share it with. “I'm tired of pretending, Levi. I love my mate and want to go back to my relationship with her.”
Levi raised his face, his forehead wrinkled, “Alpha?!”
I chuckled. He was the only one who knew of my curse, so I understood his shock. “Seems like Phoebe has finally gotten over the death of her family and accepted her fate. Who knows? She must be thinking that her father could have triggered the attack, but I saved her life due to the matebond, so she didn't need to hate me, or she wouldn't have survived. Or, aren't you seeing how clingy she's been recently? I can't fucking resist her, even when I know the consequences of letting my feelings control me.”
He stayed silent, and I didn't expect much. I was confused, so it was okay if he felt that way too.
Recalling that there was a curse that was between my feelings for my mate always shattered my heart. I wanted to kiss her each time, even if she hated me so much, but my life was also important since I didn't die when we were dating.
At first, I thought I wouldn't fall for her but use her as bait. But as time went on, I found out I had fallen for her, and my wolf was beginning to act weird at certain times. I couldn't lock my heart permanently against her, but I tried to maintain distance, and she, who didn't know what I was going through, wanted me so much that she would avoid me.
“But she's still going to the club. Aren't you bothered about that?” Levi finally drew my attention.
I twisted my fingers together and sighed. “She refused to stop, and I think the only way to make her stop is by accepting her feelings again and giving her everything she wants. But I'm not just scared about myself, but also her.”
“Is the matebond so strong that she would be hurt if the curse is triggered?” he asked, and I nodded firmly. “So, do you mean that she getting hurt is your problem and not mainly about yourself?”
He finally got my point.
“Yeah! The matebond is so strong, and if severed improperly, it would affect her as well. Is there a way to stop her from getting hurt when the curse triggers? I hadn't thought about that until now.” I looked up to Levi, and he finally began walking closer until he took a seat beside me.
Levi had been my beta even before I created this pack, so I knew his personality a lot. For him to sit quietly like this, he had something crucial to mention.
“Do you have any idea? I wonder if that stupid priestess did not realise that my mate could be affected by the curse….”
“It could be part of the punishment, too, to watch your mate hurt by your offence,” Levi stated, and I nodded. It made sense, but I really didn't need that shit. If I didn't let her bear the pain of her family's crime, she wouldn't bear mine. “You know, not all matebonds are strong. In fact, there is a low probability of strong mate bonds, so I'm not sure if the moon goddess loves you enough to let it be this way. But in all, there's a charm that can make it happen. That charm will not let her be hurt by the severed matebond when the curse is triggered, and its effect resurfaces. But….”
I took a deep swallow. Not again!
“The issue here is that it's only a witch doctor who can give you this charm, and I'm unsure if you will accept meeting one. Remember, witch doctors do not serve the moon goddess as priestesses do,” he concluded, and I chuckled.
He clearly recalled that I hated anything that had to do with a priestess or priest who serves the moon goddess. That immortal did me dirty, and I would never forgive her.
“If that's the case, then I would say that there's hope. Do you know any witch doctor?” I asked him, but then the doorbell rang, and we turned to the door.
Phoebe walked in with a plate of food in her hand and then walked towards me. “I didn't prepare much because I wasn't sure if you would like it. But you could taste it, let's see if you can deal with it. I've already eaten mine.” she stated and handed over the plate to me.
Smashed potato with meat sauce. She recalled how I loved it, even if it was with just vegetable sauce.
“It's an antelope! The chief chef gave me the portion I used,” she explained, and I nodded.
To even say I was the one who taught her how to cook? Fuck!
I ate two spoonfuls and looked at her, “Delicious!”
“Right? I'm a good cook. So what about hiring me and paying me? I seriously need money.” She giggled and began leaving the room.
Levi cleared his throat, and then I recalled that he was even beside me.
“It tastes great, but I wonder what she means by hiring her.” I shook my head while seriously emptying the plate.
Levi chuckled, "Don't you think it's better than clubbing? I'm certain the clients tips her, so she needs the money as she said.”
“If I'm going to stop her from being a whore, then she would just be by my side.”
“She doesn't look like someone who would want that any longer, since you've finally introduced her to making money.” Levi defended, and I spared him a glance.
I was almost done with the meal when I began feeling a burning sensation in my belly up to my chest, so I grabbed a bottle of chilled water and drank, but I didn't feel any better; rather, it worsened.
I dropped the plate of the almost finished meal on the floor, unsealed the bottle again and emptied the water this time.
“Are you okay? Did you choke on the food?” Levi asked, and I shook my head. “Youre sweating so much."
I was indeed. The water was doing nothing but worsening the feeling.
“Levi, I feel so hot inside as though my belly and chest are placed in an oven.” I lamented, standing to grab another bottle.
Before I could unseal the water, I felt something strike my esophagus. Just as I tried to wince, I choked up and threw up once.
“Fuck! Is that your blood? Why is it so black?” Levi hurried towards me and smacked the fridge shut.
I staggered backwards, my breath fastened, and I looked at the floor, trying not to choke up again. I threw up the second time, and the blood was as dark and thick as the first one.