Chapter 13 — Douglas
At five o’clock on a Saturday morning, Douglas stood with his arm folded on the doorframe of the front door. It was a cloudy morning. Dark, angry clouds rolled in from the west. The sky would open up at any moment.
And there was Sebastian running across the front lawn, a backpack tucked over his shoulder that he tossed haphazardly into the back seat. There was still a suitcase by the door he needed to bring out and pack away, but its contents were far less delicate to moisture than the backpack was. Douglas thought it was smart he was leaving his suitcase for last.
“You got your laptop?” Gabriel asked from the far side of the car. Douglas had no idea when he’d arrived, but he was glad to see that Sebastian had another soul to help him stay focused on the drive.
“It’s in the backpack,” Sebastian said. “So are all the charging cords for my electronics.”
“Good stuff. You got your clothes?”
“There’s a suitcase by the door I need to throw into the trunk. I’ll go get it.” Sebastian left the car, but before he could go far, Douglas called out to him.
“I’ll bring it. You stay put.”
Sebastian smiled. It was hard to see from across the yard, but Douglas didn’t need to see it when he felt it resonate in his soul. He lifted Sebastian’s suitcase from where it had been left by the door and carried it to the car. Sebastian popped the trunk, and Douglas fit it inside.
“Your car looks decent, but with this weather about to hit, you need to be careful while you’re on the road,” Douglas warned.
Sebastian closed the trunk. It clicked firmly into place, locking. “I’m a good driver, and so is Gabriel. We’re going to be okay.”
“We might be young, but we know we’re not invincible, Mr. McAlpern,” Gabriel added. “College destroyed our god complexes. We’ll be fine. No adult supervision required.”
Sebastian’s lips twitched like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t speak.
The first droplets of rain hit Douglas’ shoulders. He glanced upward, then frowned. “Looks like it’s about to come down.”
“Yup. So we’ve got to get on the road.” Gabriel smacked the top of the car door affectionately. “You want to start off driving, Sebastian, or should I?”
“I’ve got it.” Sebastian spoke with confidence, but his gaze didn’t flicker from Douglas’. “Before I go, I just wanted to say that if anything happens, you can call me. I might not be able to come right away, but I can at least offer support over the phone. Ian’s going to stay with your mother, right?”
“Yes, and I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Douglas wanted to squeeze Sebastian’s shoulder, but he didn’t dare touch. The second that happened, he was going to want more. “I’ll keep in touch to let you know what’s going on, but I want you to enjoy this vacation, okay?”
“Oh, he will.” Gabriel’s face brightened. The rain started coming down. “We’ve got a whole circuit planned. It’s going to be a trip to remember… so let’s get it started before we get drenched. Sebastian, you ready?”
“Ready,” Sebastian confirmed, but his gaze did not wander. “Thank you for everything, Douglas. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Be safe and have fun.”
Sebastian took a few steps backward, then turned and hurried for the driver’s seat. The door slammed shut. Gabriel saluted from where he stood and sank into the passenger’s seat, the clack of his car door latching into place echoing through the early morning.
Sebastian turned the lights on. The engine purred to life. The car was a recent model and it looked exceptionally maintained, but Douglas still found himself worrying.
What if they hydroplaned? Did Sebastian know to turn into the spin instead of fight it?
What if a truck lost control and hit them?
What if…
The worries were suffocating, and Douglas pushed them out of his mind. Resolute, he told himself that nothing would happen. Sebastian had conducted himself as a motorist for at least the last half decade without dying, and if that was the case, Douglas didn’t think he’d start driving unsafely now.
He had to trust, even when trust was hard to come by.
As the rain beat down on his shoulders, the car pulled away from the curb. Gabriel grinned at him from the window and waved as they left, and Douglas lifted a hand to acknowledge him. Sebastian brought the car to a stop at the next stop sign, then turned the corner and disappeared.
That was it. One week without his new manny had started.
Douglas didn’t know how to feel about it.
He trudged back into the house, kicking off his wet shoes by the door. The silence Douglas had once cherished now felt hollow. He didn’t hear Sebastian wandering around upstairs, or the clink of pots and pans in the kitchen as Sebastian cooked or cleaned. Not even Ian was awake and causing trouble yet—not that he was much trouble to begin with.
The reality of the situation was that Douglas was alone, and he hadn’t realized how much that bothered him until he had someone living in his house, able to fill that empty space.
With nothing else to do, Douglas went back to bed. As long as Ian stayed asleep, Douglas would treat himself to more rest. It had been a torturously long week at work, and it was going to be just as bad in the week to come now that Ian was his sole responsibility at night. Getting up early to drive him to visit grandma was going to cut into Douglas’ sleep even more.
Douglas discarded his wet clothes and laid beneath his blankets, listening to the patter of rain on the roof. It was going to be a cold, rainy day. With any luck, the weather would encourage Ian to sleep, and Douglas would do the same.
After all, the longer he stayed asleep, the sooner it would be until he didn’t have to feel so empty—until Sebastian got back from his vacation.
Douglas’ last thoughts before he drifted back to sleep were how pitiful he was to be so hooked on a man so soon after meeting him. He hadn’t known Sebastian for a month yet, but the young man had already made a tremendous impact on his life.
The heart wanted what it wanted. Who was Douglas to tell it no?
Ian was fussy—fussier than usual. As Douglas carried him around the house, willing him to stop crying, he wondered if it didn’t have to do with the changed energy now that Sebastian was gone. Ian was small, but that didn’t mean he was clueless. He spent the majority of his day with Sebastian, and even though Sebastian was a new fixture in their life, he missed him.
Douglas missed him, too.
When Ian settled down, Douglas set him in his rocker, then laid across the couch and put something mindless on the television. He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked for new messages, but there was nothing there. Distraught, he considered sending a text to make sure everything was okay, then talked himself down from doing it almost as soon as the thought crossed his mind.
He didn’t want to come across as clingy.
Sebastian was on his payroll, not rolling beneath his sheets. He had no reason to follow up. Sebastian was an individual, and he could take care of himself during his time off.
This was why he was always single. If he couldn’t butt out for a single day, he couldn’t coexist with someone in the way healthy couples needed to. Douglas groaned and put his phone down on the coffee table. He turned his attention to the television screen. Whatever show was on wasn’t holding his attention, but he made a game of trying to piece together the parts he did understand into a cohesive story.
What was he going to do for dinner? Douglas stretched out. He’d order a pizza. He’d lost all motivation to do anything productive with his day.
He had it bad.
That night, a box of pizza on the coffee table and an open bottle of beer beside it, Douglas finally allowed himself to do what he’d wanted to do all day. He picked up his phone and sent Sebastian a brief text.
Hey. Hope you guys are having fun. We’re going so hard we’re passing out over here.
Then, to drive the joke home, Douglas sent Sebastian a picture of Ian sleeping in his rocker.
The message sent. It was marked as received. Douglas didn’t wait to see if it was read—he set the phone down on his chest and zoned out, finally finding peace of mind. He’d done his bit. The rest was up to Sebastian.