Chapter 14 — Sebastian

They drove out of the rain by mid-afternoon. Sebastian stopped not long after at a rest stop to gas up and grab something to eat, and when he returned to the car, Gabriel was already sitting behind the wheel, arm folded on the window sill while he waited.

“Hey!” Sebastian complained.

“You honestly thought I was going to let you drive the whole way?” Gabriel arched an eyebrow. “Nope. Get your ass down in the passenger’s seat and enjoy your lunch. What did you get?”

“Chicken nuggets.”

“Gross.” Gabriel wrinkled his nose. “I thought you had more discerning tastes than that.”

“Apparently not.” Sebastian settled beside Gabriel, and soon enough they were back on the road. The scenery wasn’t anything to write home about, but there was a kind of liberty on the highway that Sebastian couldn’t shake. He watched the flat farmlands pass him by observing the corn and soy crops. Every now and then they came across a cattle farm, but those were few and far between.

“We’re making good time,” Gabriel remarked. He pushed his sunglasses a little higher up his nose. “I think we’ll reach the inn we’re scheduled to crash at right around eight or so. If we’re lucky, even earlier. Did we have anything on the agenda for dinner tonight?”

“I’ll look in a second.” Sebastian’s nose was buried in his phone. He hadn’t received a single text since he left, and he considered it both a blessing and a tragedy. He munched the last of his chicken nuggets thoughtfully, tapping apps and canceling them if only to keep his fingers busy.

Douglas was on his mind.

Gabriel snorted a laugh. “We’re… what, five hours into our road trip and you’re already pining for daddy?”

“He’s not…!” Sebastian thinned his lips. “He’s not daddy, Gabriel. He’s Douglas.”

“He’s a dad.”

“It’s not the same.”

“It could be.” Gabriel’s point sent a shiver right down Sebastian’s spine. “But I guess whether you call him daddy or not doesn’t matter. The point is, you’re thinking of him, right?”

Sebastian didn’t want to admit it. To admit it meant that he was sucked in too deep, and after such a short time, it felt foolish to admit. He wanted to shrug his attraction—shelve it and let it gather dust—but it clung to him too tightly and refused to let him go.

“I’ll take your silence as a resounding yes.” Gabriel chuckled. “You poor soul. All through college you kept to yourself, and now that you’re out in the world, you’re falling for the only handsome face you can’t have.”

Douglas’ face was handsome. The square angle of his jaw. The way his stubble grew dark at the end of a long day. Even the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes.

Sebastian sighed.

“Sebastian!” Gabriel laughed. “Oh my god, I’d tell you to get a room, but he’s not even here. You really are something else.”

“I’m a mess.”

“You really are.” Gabriel tapped the steering wheel with his palms. The sound of skin on leather flooded the cabin of the car. “Well, I guess that means we won’t be living it up in the club when we hit New York. Unless you want to wingman for me?”

“We’re sharing a room, Gabriel,” Sebastian reminded him dryly. “I’m not sitting outside while you take home some guy.”

“Right, right. Be a buzz kill. It’s almost like we’re going to a foreign city to sightsee instead of hook up. What a novel idea.” Gabriel hesitated. “Unless you want to find someone to hook up with? Because even though you’re on the fence about waiting outside the room, if it means you’re going to shake your crush, I’d be down to spend the night elsewhere while you get busy.”

There was no reality in which Sebastian could have been more embarrassed. He sat bolt upright in his seat, momentarily too stunned to speak. Hook up with someone else? No.

“I couldn’t.”

“You could. He doesn’t own you.”

“I…” It felt like cheating, which was an absurd notion, but it carried weight that burdened his spirits. “I know that he doesn’t, but I’m not looking for casual sex. I want a relationship. If I’d wanted casual sex, I could have just…”

Sebastian trailed off. He glanced at his knees. The rest of the sentence remained incomplete. Gabriel could deduce the meaning.

“Okay, okay. This road trip is supposed to be about celebration, not about our hang-ups. Let’s forget we went there, okay? You’re not hooking up with anyone, I’m not hooking up with anyone, and we’re going to have good, family-friendly fun that we can proudly share with our parents when we’re done.”

“Right.”

“So, since we’re not talking about anything that brings either of us down, why don’t you tell me all about your first yoga class? I bet you got some looks.”

Sebastian laughed. He set his phone down. “Well…”

The next stretch of the road trip was filled with stories of Sebastian’s week and memories from high school. Laughter marked their passage.

And when at last the night fell and Sebastian’s phone vibrated with a message, he was collected enough to check it without falling to pieces.

It was a picture of Ian doing what Ian did best—sleeping.

Hey. Hope you guys are having fun. We’re going so hard we’re passing out over here.

Sebastian laughed out loud and tucked himself against the door, beaming at the phone as he answered. Gabriel had taken possession of the wheel and refused to relinquish it, so Sebastian vowed to use his time wisely.

As long as he kept his head on straight, it wouldn’t be weird to have a friendly text conversation with his boss. They lived together, after all. There was nothing at all strange about communicating with someone he shared living space with.

Sebastian only wished he could say the same about the way his heart swelled with joy whenever Douglas looked his way.

We’re still on the road. Drove until noon, but now Gabriel’s driving and he won’t let me take the wheel back from him.

Sebastian waited for the response, already hooked. Whenever Douglas gave him attention, he felt like the most important person in the world.

Tell him you’re getting a foot cramp.

Why?

Because then he’ll find a rest stop, and you can con him into going inside to find some pain relievers. When he’s gone, you can take the wheel back.

Sebastian withheld a laugh. He glanced at Gabriel, then looked back to his phone.

I want to arrive back home alive.

Gabriel? You can take him.

Have you seen me? I’m kind of skinny. Gabriel’s not much bigger, but between us, he’s the physically stronger one.

Baby yoga’s prepared you for this moment. I believe in you.

Through text, Douglas was funny. Sebastian chewed on his bottom lip, absorbed by the conversation. Staying professional had been so hard after Douglas had kissed him, but distance gave Sebastian a safety net, and he relaxed a little. If he wasn’t able to touch Douglas, he couldn’t take things too far by accident.

If you wanted me to do that, you should have signed me up for baby taekwondo.

Imagine how buff Ian would look at the end of those classes.

Sebastian covered his mouth with his arm, but it was too late. He laughed loudly into the crook of his arm, body shaking. Imagining Ian, ripped and tiny, was too funny to resist.

“Oh my god, you’re texting him, aren’t you?” Gabriel snickered. “Am I going to have to confiscate your phone? I’m a teacher. I’m prepared to do that if you force my hand.”

“You’re not a teacher yet,” Sebastian argued. “You won’t be until school starts back up in August.”

A new text message distracted him.

He misses you. He’s been fussy today.

“I signed a contract, meaning I’m employed and officially a teacher, even if I haven’t taught my first solo class yet. Now. Are you going to keep passing notes back and forth, or are you going to share with the class what you’re saying.”

Sebastian made a face. “You don’t have power over me. I’m not one of your kids.”

“You might as well be with how young you’re acting. You’re like a teenager again. I swear, if the two of you do get together, it’s going to be sickeningly adorable.”

Sebastian looked back down at his phone. He read the last text again, letting it warm his heart.

If he wakes up later, maybe I can talk to him on the phone.

“We’re not getting together.” Sebastian set his phone down. “I’m not letting that happen. I already told you.”

“Eh. And I told you what I think about it.” Gabriel merged into the far right lane and took the next exit. “We’re going to stop for a gas refill and to get something to eat. I’m starving. If you’re good for it, you can drive the rest of the way.”

Sebastian perked his head upon hearing it. Now that he was talking with Douglas, he didn’t want to get back behind the wheel. Anxiety tore through him, dividing him between what he knew he should do and what he wanted to do.

Gabriel parked in a spot in front of the rest stop. “You want to split up and meet back here? We’ll gas up right before we go.”

“Sure.” It would give him a little time to conclude his conversation with Douglas. A couple of minutes would be enough. Sebastian scooped up his phone from his lap, undid his seatbelt, and let himself out of the car. Soon enough he was crossing the rest stop not to head to the front door, but to settle on one of the picnic benches in the field surrounding it.

He wasn’t very hungry anyway. The giddiness clenched in his stomach filled him up.

Being this happy shouldn’t have been possible.

When he settled on the bench, there was a text waiting. Sebastian opened the conversation and read what Douglas had to say.

I’ll let you know. He’s been really good about sleeping through the night lately.

It was true. Sebastian was impressed with how quickly Ian was growing. Pretty soon, he’d be so big he could get around on his own. Sebastian never realized how precious each milestone was until he had a baby he’d bonded with who was working to reach them.

Won’t be long until he’s crawling.

Then talking.

I wonder if he’s going to be a chatter-mouth.

With Michelle as his mom? Yeah. I think so.

Sebastian laughed again. He had to look like a fool sitting by himself at twilight, laughing into his phone, but he couldn’t help it. The joy in his heart overflowed, and he needed to get it out in the worst way.

We made a stop and I’m driving the rest of the way. We’re about to get back on the road. I’ll text to let you know we got to our destination safe.

Thank you. Drive safe.

I will.

Sebastian turned off the screen, then tucked his phone away. He didn’t notice Gabriel by the car, so he assumed he had a little time left to grab something to eat before they stopped for gas and left.

With a spring in his step, he entered the rest stop as Gabriel was on his way out.

“Five minutes!” Sebastian promised.

“Yeah, yeah.” Gabriel waved him off. “See you in the car.”

Tonight was already a good night, and it was only going to get better. Douglas was opening up to him, there was an adventure to be had, and his heart was brimming with contentment. What a change it was from just a few short weeks ago.

And if the feeling deep inside his soul told him anything, it was that change wasn’t done with him yet.