Chapter 86

As the weeks have passed, Derek's condition has improved, but he still has not woken up. I take Faithlyn to see her daddy every day. I know that she doesn't understand what is going on. It seems to relax her when I put her beside him, even though he is asleep. I want him to pull through for her, but I'm trying my hardest not to lose hope. I just hope that he will wake up. They tried to lower his oxygen, but it didn't work out and he stopped breathing. They say every day there are improvements, but I wonder why he's not waking up. He lost so much blood that they said he should be dead, but his body is still fighting to stay alive. I don't have it in my heart to say goodbye. He needs to fight and survive, for us. I tell him that every day wondering if he can hear anything I'm saying.

My father has helped me a lot with Faithlyn, and I tried to split my time between her and Derek. Every time I see the hospital calling I think maybe he has woken up, but that has not been the case as of now. I tried to contact his parents to let them know what was happening, I've left messages for them, but there's no response. I only have the numbers that are on his phone, I don't know who else to reach. I haven't seen Jill at all, but Summer comes daily and asks if I need help.

All of this was supposed to make things easier not make them more complicated. I am not so sure of what is going to happen, but I have faith that Derek will wake up. I will be here waiting for him no matter what. In all honesty, I wanted to pack up and leave Alaska. It has only brought me pain. I can't do that until Derek wakes up so that we can leave together and be able to live the life that we're meant to. I hate how much Faithlyn misses him, and I can see the sadness in her eyes.

Today is another day of the same routine. I get up, take a shower, and I get dressed. Then I get Faithlyn ready for the day. My father is on his way to pick us up to go visit Derek. As I am preparing our breakfast my phone rings, and I see that is the hospital calling. I'm instantly fearful. What if he's given up? Is this the call from them to let me know that he is dead? I can't answer it. I can't bare the news I just can't. 

My phone rings again, and I know I need to answer it. Something has happened, so with a shaky voice I say, “Hello.”

"Amelia, are you there?”

I'm quiet and shocked. Is this Derek? Has he finally woken up? I answer, “Derek, is that you? Are you awake?”

“Oh baby, it's so great to hear your voice. I am so happy you are ok.”

“Oh, God! Derek, you're awake! Oh my God! Your alive! You're ok! You have no idea how nice it is to hear your voice.”

“The Dr. was going to call you, but I asked if I could call you instead.”

“Derek, my father is on his way to pick us up. Faithlyn and I will be there soon to visit. I can't wait to see you! Derek, are you there? Hello...”

All of a sudden, I hear code blue. My heart sinks at what has taken place. He was just talking to me a second ago, and now all I hear is a beeping noise. Then I hear doctors rushing around, and the phone disconnects. I'm terrified and not sure what just happened. He was just talking to me, so he couldn't have died. I hear a knock at the hotel door, so I open it. I gather Faithlyns things while rushing out the door. 

My father looks at me concerned. My eyes must be full of terror because he says, “Amelia, it's ok. Take your time. We will get there as soon as we get there.”

“You don't understand dad! Derek just called me, and the phone he used got disconnected. All I could hear was a beeping and code blue. Something happened! We need to go now!”

“Amelia, I know that you're scared, but just calm down. The outcome will not change. You need to gather yourself.”

I fall to my knees, and I let out a screeching cry knowing that my father is right; whatever has taken place I can't change. I can't accept the fact that Derek might be dead. My heart breaks as I look into my daughter's eyes realizing that her father might be gone forever. I try to contain myself and my emotions, but I can't. I just lose my mind and scream. I bring my knees up to my chest and squeeze as tight as I can. I'm trying so hard to comfort myself, so my father hugs me and tells me it will be ok. His words mean nothing to me knowing that if Derek is dead it will not be ok. In the end, if he is dead, it is my fault. I got him killed! How could I have done something so horrible as to have gotten my child's father killed? Even though it was all for her and her freedom, I feel so empty at the thought of losing him.

I try to contain myself. I need to leave so that I can go check on Derek. As much as I don't know Summer, I need her help. I can't take Faithlyn with me if he has died. I go across to her room and knock on the door. She answers the door. 

Her face is so bright and full of happiness that it makes me want to punch her in the throat as I ask, “Would you be able to watch Faithlyn for a little while? My father is going to take me to the hospital to see Derek.”

“Of course! I can watch Faithlyn. Just give me time to get dressed, and I will be over.”

“Thank you so much Summer! I really appreciate it.”

“It's no problem Miss Amelia. It is my job.”

I sit in the living room waiting for her to come to watch Faithlyn. I look at my sweet girl with her innocent face, her smiles, and her giggles. She is so beautiful. My heart is breaking thinking of a future where Derek cannot watch her grow. Tears start to form in my eyes and fall down my cheeks as Faithlyn looks at me. I try so hard to keep my emotions to myself, but I can't when I'm seeing so much of Derek in her, 

I can't help it. I have never been so full of emotion besides the time that I was in the coma and not able to speak. All I wanted was for her to have the most perfect life, and I was willing to sacrifice everything for her, even if it was my own happiness because in the end her happiness is what matters. I know that I should be grateful that she is ok and that she gets to be free, but at the cost of losing Derek I am not so sure. What am I going to do without him? I know that it will be hard as hell to be without him, but I will survive no matter what because in the end Faithlyn needs me. I will not let her down, and I will make sure that she leads the happiest life possible.