Chapter 38: Isabelle

This chapter comes wtih a trigger warning regaurding Isabelle and Alessandro noncon it will be bold and Italizied so you can skip that part if you want,

I did wake when he came into my bed, but I knew at that instant that he was there. All the darkness fell away, cleared from my mind as he held me close. The nightmares drifted away, instead of reliving my life with Alessandro, I lived a new life with Liam. One where I was whole, where the darkness was no longer with me. Liam lit a match I never knew could be lit and chased it way. I know it’s just a dream, that that can never happen. Or at least that’s what I have always believed but with each passing day that seems to be another lie, I have been made to believe.

I hold on to the dream as hard as I can while I lay on my side with a warmth I know I only ever feel with him behind me, his arms wrapped tightly around my middle. It doesn’t feel claustrophobic, or constrictive like I would have thought instead if feels like protection and safety. Two things I’ve never had. If I just let myself soak this up, I could become used to the feeling. But I know no matter how hard I want to I can’t. I’m on borrowed time. Even now I know Alessandro will be plotting. He will find a way to get me back. For nothing more than his own pride. He cant let me go. That would make him weak. He doesn’t love me, but he does own me. That has been brought to my attention so many times over the years.

***“You may hold the title wife, but you are nothing more than a bought and paid for whore.” Alessandro hisses in my ear as he looms over me from behind pressing his chest to my back as he forces himself into me. I try to scream but he just pushed my head further into the mattress. He was never gentle. It was always like this, my lungs burning from not getting breathe into them when he did this to me. I cry but the tears go unseen, the sobs unheard, until he finishes and gets up to leave me with the mess I need to clean. The mess that is him, and my blood, left on me and the sheets below me. I never move until I hear the door shut and lock behind him fearful that if I do he will come back. ***

The arm around me tightens further and a soft kiss is placed on the back of my neck.

“Come back to me, my stor.” Liams voice brings me back from my thoughts, he slowly and oh so gently brings me to my back, his hand reaches up to wipe away tears I didn’t know I was crying. He hoovers over me searching my eyes as I search in his. In his I find nothing but sincere concern, along with something I can’t understand, something I have seen before, but it’s been so long I can’t place. Whatever it is the flood gates in my soul open, the dam breaks and I let out a soul shattering sob. Because that’s what it feels like, that my own soul is being ripped apart inside of me.

Liam face is blurs in my vision so I can’t see him clearly enough to make out what he is feeling, but it doesn’t matter because within seconds I am brought to his lap and wrapped up in his arms as he holds me tight to his chest, rocking my gently.

“Shh baby its okay. I’m here. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He whispers in my ears, his emotions dripping from every word. I hear the concern, longing, the promise. He means them. But he doesn’t know what I know, or he refuses to believe the truth, trying to delude himself and me into believing them. But I know the truth.

“He won’t let me go.” I say through strangled sobs. My breath coming in sharp pants against his chest. Liam freezes for a second before he slumps trying to pull me even closer to him.

“I know, but I can’t give you back. I just can’t,” He sounds like he might be crying too but I can’t be sure. Even if I could look up and him, I wouldn’t see him as my own tear still keep me from seeing anything clearly. So I just bury my head into his warm skin on his chest.

I don’t know how long we sit here like this, but after awhile my eyes start to run dry, my sobs turn to hiccups, and I soak up the strength he is so generously offering me. When I feel I can face the world again I push back against his chest. And try to offer the truth, to help him understand the facts that we must see.

“Alessandro owns me, he has never loved me. He took…. He took everything because it belongs to him.” I look down unable to meet his eyes, hoping he understands the meaning of my words because I don’t know if I can voice them any other way. I feel his back go ramrod straight. He brings his hand to my chin to lift it, I lift my head but keep my eyes focused on a spot over his shoulders.

“Look at me…Please.” I hear his voice break into a plea and that has me been bringing my eyes to his. Anger and hurt blazes behind the blue depths. “You do not belong to him.” He swallows and closes his eyes, seemingly to fight himself on something. When he opens his eyes again his sole focus is on me like I am the most precious thing to him.

“My stor….do you know what that means?” I shake my head, it’s familiar but I can’t place the meaning, I only know that when he calls me that I warm from the inside.

“My treasure. That’s what you are, a treasure. One he doesn’t know, or care to take care of. But that treasure was taken by force and does not belong to him. He never has and never will. I will not let him. You, my stor, are so strong, I am in awe of you for many reasons, but your strength is one of the main ones.” I don’t feel very strong, it must be written on my face because Liam leans down placing his forehead to my own.

“You have been through so much, and yet somehow you kept fighting, kept going on against unbeatable odds. You will never have to fight alone again. I am here, and I never want to be anywhere but by your side. If you will let me, I will shoulder this pain with you.” He opens his eyes searching mine for an answer I don’t know if I can give. He doesn’t understand what he risks saying these things to me. “You are worth those risks; you are worth everything.”

I must have said that out loud.

“I’m not worth anything….” I am just a bought paid for whore. I don’t say that out loud. It I speak it and he believes it I don’t know if I could live.

“If you let me, I will prove you are.” I don’t want to admit that those words bring me something that feels a lot like hope. Hope that maybe I could be worth something, but worthy of something more than I have had. I take a deep breath. I want to let him, I do I really do with every fiber of my soul I do, but the fear of falling into this and having it ripped away from me has me hesitating. Instead of answering I press my lips to his, he responds kissing me back its soft and not like all the other heated kisses we have shared. No this is something else entirely, I pour my fears into mine and respond with promises that he will fight all of them. When we break apart we aren’t breathless from the kiss, but from everything we shared without words. He brushes my hair away from my face, tracing my cheeks with a feather like touch.

“Come on let’s get ready for the day.” He sounds almost as sad as I feel having to leave this bubble, but he seems to realize that I am struggling with all these emotions in my chest and need a break from them. So I nod my head in agreement. That brings a smile to his face, he leans forward pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Good girl.”

The more he says those words to me the more the negativity that surrounds them drips away and is replaced with something else, something better. Something that causes me both happiness and fear. Because they offer hope that things can change, they can be different. They say that karma is a bitch, but what they don’t tell you is that she has an even more fickle sister, and her name is hope.