Chapter 56 Missing her
AXEL
"Fucking hell," I cursed under my breath as the sharp edge of the paper tore the skin of my finger and I instinctively lifted the finger to my mouth to lick the tiny blood off.
I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked up to see Prince staring at me with a comical look in his eyes.
"Care to share what's funny?" I bite out.
"Care to share why you've been on edge since morning?" He asked casually, that comical smile still on his lips.
"On edge?" I asked, "I don't know what you're talking about."
But of course, I do know what he was talking about. I haven't been myself since two nights ago when Red called it off.
"Of course, you know what I'm talking about," he spelled out for me with his eyes still locked on mine, "you've been on edge since morning, you've hardly concentrated on the files we're supposed to
sort through, your mind seems to be all over the place which is so unlike you and now you're cutting paper cuts. Really? Axel? That's unfathomable."
Fuck Prince for being so cynical.
"I'm just a tired man, people have bad days, it's normal."
"Other people and not Axel Ivanov. Axel, really? You're not really going to sit there and tell me that nothing is wrong because obviously, everything is wrong with you."
Lisa was the only wrong thing with me. It's been two nights since she put an end to our arrangement and I've been so blindsided with so much anger and fury that it shocked me completely. How
Was it for her to put an end to that? To us, okay, scratch that, there was no us but I thought we had something, I thought we were leaning towards having something deeper than just physical intimacy then all of a sudden and out of nowhere, she just decides she doesn't want to sleep with me anymore because she's afraid of getting into trouble.
She was actually right, logical even to do that but I still can't just believe it. I wanted to pick up another girl that night just to show that I could sleep with whoever the fuck I wanted to sleep with but I couldn't do it partly because I didn't think I could be in the presence of another woman after I left her that night without wanting to wring off their necks or put a hole in their fucking heads and partly because, at that moment, it was unimaginable to fuck a girl that wasn't Lisa.
Except that even right now, which was already two days after the whole thing happened, it was still unimaginable to sleep with a girl that wasn't Red.
I was trying to convince myself that it was because she had been my longest fucking, that it was because I'd been sleeping with only her for more than 6 weeks, and since that has never happened
Before, that was why I was finding it so difficult to even imagine another girl but deep down, I knew that wasn't right.
That was just a lie I desperately wanted to believe.
I needed to believe.
"It's nothing," I tried to wave Prince off when he wouldn't stop looking at me, "it's just a bad day, it's nothing big."
"Hmmm," he made a show of picking a document and reading through it before looking up at me again, "and does the cause of this bad day have anything to do with a particular blonde girl? Someone
with L in their name and the one you've been sleeping with for weeks now."
"Fuck off, Prince, this has nothing to do with her."
"Of course, it doesn't," he replied sarcastically.
"And I'm assuming this development is just recent?"
"Yeah," I squinted as the memories of her standing in front of me and calling it off filled my mind, "it was two nights ago."
"And she was the one that put an end to it?" He seemed to be concocting a theory in his mind and for the life of me, I couldn't guess what it was.
"Yeah, she did, said she was too tired to sneak around and risk getting caught so she called it off."
"And there I have my answer," he chuckled as if I just told a joke, "so I just figured out why you're in a bad mood, is it because your male ego took a fragile hurt because she called off your sexual
arrangement?" He leveled his eyes with mine, "or you've become so addicted to the sex that you don't want to let go? Or..."
He casually took another sip of his water, "you're slowly getting addicted to the girl that the thought of letting her go is annoying you."
"Your theories are completely ridiculous, you should stop formulating them."
"So you're going to tell me that your bad mood doesn't have anything to do with the fact that she dumped your silly ass?"
"For starters, there was no dumping because we were never in any relationship and there's no reason to get angry over the fact that she called it off, it was just sex and while she was a great fuck,
I can always get it somewhere."
She wasn't just a great fuck, she was the best fuck and it wasn't only about the fucking, it was about her smiles, her giggles, her eyes, her eyes, it was about her!
Damn! I was going crazy.
"You sure? Can you get it somewhere else? Was she that good in bed that you kept the daughter of the enemy around for almost two months when you've never even kept random girls around for a
month?"
I glared at him, "no, she wasn't just good in bed, she was great and now that's the last time we'll discuss Lisa in bed, keep that thought out of your mind because I won't talk about her like that." "Funny," he chuckled again, his eyes not leaving mine for once, "you've never had a problem detailing your sexual escapades with other chics for me but now it's about Lisa Volkov and you've suddenly
turned into a man that doesn't talk about girls like that or better constructed, that doesn't like talking about Lisa Volkov, aka the daughter of his number one enemy like that."
"Fuck you, Prince."
"You're welcome," he faked a bow, "because I'm only just breaking what you're doing down for you, is that such a bad thing?"
"You're not breaking anything down, you're just being ridiculous, now let's get serious with our priority here," I picked a document and started to read but still, I could feel Prince's eyes on me. I
flickered my eyes up to look at him.
"What now?"
"You're into her, right?"
"God! Prince, can you just dead this topic? I'm not."
Do we have a serious conversation for once? Jokes apart," he turned to me in all seriousness, "I'm not going to crucify you or anything, heck, it's not like I'm going to tattle on you or something, it's
"Can
just us, are you into Lisa Volkov?"
Am I into Lisa Volkov?