Chapter 32

Johana Morin POV

I did not want everything to happen. I did not want us to end that way. But I had to do it for us.

Everything that has happened between us is still fresh in my mind. It still feels like yesterday. I did not want to hurt Beatriz. I did not plan hurting her because I never really wanted to hurt her. It's just that, it's the only thing I had to do to save both of us. It was very hard for me, really. I got no one else to talk to about what I have experienced in the past few weeks. I only had myself the whole process. I was afraid people would judge we or would call me weak once they knew the truth on why I left Beatriz.

The truth is...

(Flashback)

"Stay away from my daughter, Johana."

"W-What? You know I can't... she's my friend." I lied. I already knew what Uncle Elmer was pointing out but I just want to deny it. I was afraid he would know the truth from me.

"Friend? Really? She's just a friend to you, Johana?" I saw him laughed like an evil. It was the first time I saw Uncle Elmer act this way. Before, I used to see him as a loving father who always understands everything about Bea. I thought he's kind... because that's the attitude he's showing to many people.

I don't know what happened today.

"Don't try to fool me, Johana. I already know everything and thanks to Kianna." He said and I saw Kianna walk towards him.

I looked at Kianna and she's just staring at me. She's too serious. Her eyes are filled with anger. Feels like she is badly seeking for revenge even if I did not do anything wrong with her. Why is she doing this? Why can't she just be happy for me and Bea?

"K-Kianna? Why?" I asked.

"Bea and I didn't work before. And I won't just let this pass. You should experience, what I have experienced from loving Bea. You have to suffer just like me until you regret loving her." Kianna said and smirked.

So this is what happened to their relationship? Bea's father tried to separate them? No! I won't ever let Elmer do this to me and Bea.

I looked at Bea's Dad. "Please, I really love your daughter. I cannot just let her go... I cannot leave her because I really love her. Please, Uncle, please allow our relationship."

I saw him frown. "Don't make me lose my patience, Johana. If you really love my daughter, you'll set her free. You'll leave her. Or else---we will be the one to do that."

I felt my tears coming out. I could not stop crying. I don't want to leave Bea but I can remember how she used to be happy each time she talks about her family. Bea is a very family-oriented person. She will do everything for her family, that's how I met her.

And if I will have to choose between Bea or her true happiness... I think it's right to choose her true happiness. At least that decision can assure the rest of my life that Bea is happy even without me. Yes, I love her. I love her so much but I cannot let this love ruin Bea's family.

"Sir, believe me... what I feel for your daughter is true. What we have is real. I know both of us cannot survive any day without each other. Sir, just give me a chance to prove to you how much I love Bea. I promise to prove it with all my heart... please." I said between my sobs.

I saw Bea's dad took a deep breath. "Johana, now is the time for you to prove how much you love my daughter. Because if you really love her, you won't let that love ruin us. I really love my daughter, Johana. I don't want her to make bad decisions, or decisions that she would surely regret. I don't want to see her live a sinful life. Stop fooling yourselves. What you have is pure evil. That's not love. That kind of relationship will never be right. Believe me."

It's painful to think that people would judge the love we have just because we're gays. They forgot that we are humans too. We deserve to love and to be loved. Easy for them to say that we're evils or immoral, even if they don't exactly know who we are.

"Leave Bea alone. End what both of you have to end just like what Kianna did before. Don't let other people get involve here, not even your family, Johana. You know how rich and powerful I am. I can make you leave the university, the team. My daughter has no future with you. So if her future will be ruined just because of you, I'll make sure to ruin yours even more." He threatened.

I was about to protest when Kianna pulled me out of Elmer's office.

"Stop it now, Jo!" She yelled at me.

I pushed her away. "Are you happy now? Huh? Are you happy now that I have to leave her?! You ruined us Kianna! Why do you have to do this?!" I said and covered my face. I could not stop crying.

"Of course! I'm happy now that both of us get to experience that damn pain from loving Bea. Don't worry it's not really my fault. It's Elmer's fault! It will always be his fault because he's a goddamn stupid creature and even if I don't tell him about you and Bea, he will surely find it all out soon just like what he did to us before. We're even now, Jo." She said and walked away.

(End of Flashback)

That night also, I decided to went to Bea. I went to their house to end everything with her. But I could not just do it, so I decided to walk away. To my surprise, Bea saw me. It's really hard to break up with someone you truly love. That night, I cannot really do it. That's why I told her that I want to go to our secret place in Tagaytay. That night felt magical... because I was with her before I even have to end everything between us.

Until I decided to avoid her... with that she could make a hint that I was slowly losing interest in her. But as I was doing that, I always end up crying because of the pain. Because I never really liked to avoid her... all I want is to love her everyday, I wanted to show her how much she means to me. But I just can't because her father threatens me everyday.

And that one night came... the night that is supposed to be wonderful for the two of us. It was supposed to be magical but it ended up appalling. The candle-light-dinner that I ruined. I cried so hard after walking away from her. I don't know how I was able to manage the pain... up to this day.

"Jo... don't tell me you're crying again?" Marci said to me. We're here in McDonald's because I was hungry and my comfort food are here because Bea and I used to date here.

I immediately wiped off my tears before they even come out. "I'm sorry." I told Marci. Marci is the only friend I can rely to as this moment. I have friends in the team but I was so afraid to let them know my struggles. With Marci, I know the secrets are safe. I always thank him for still being a friend to me despite what happened before. He told me he had moved on and the past does not bother him anymore. So, that's great to know.

"You know what? I'm happy that she's back again in the team." I told Marci. I was the one who talked to Bea's parents to get her back in the team because I know how much she loves playing volleyball.

"That's nice, Jo. But, aren't you gonna go to the dorm now? It's getting late. You and I need to rest." Marci said.

I instantly shook my head. "No... I won't."

I was afraid to go back to the dormitory because I heard that my roommates will be Madeline and Beatriz. That will be awkward for sure.

"What? You'll just stay here for hours? Be mature enough, Jo! Face your fears." said Marci because he already knew about it.

I rolled my eyes. "Try to be me then think if you really can face your fears."

He laughed. "Wait... is that Bea and Madeline?" said Marci. I immediately covered my face.

"Oh! It's them. Should we say hi?" Marci asked and I immediately stood up.

"Go say hi to them because I'm leaving you alone here. Bye!" I said and left him. I used the other door here in McDonald's.

I really have to leave before they even saw me here and I just don't want to see them together as well because I will surely be jealous. Besides, why are they together? Don't tell me Bea already replaced me that fast? Tsk! That girl!

Since I got nowhere to go, I went to the dorm and no one's here except from my teammate Mae. She just gave me my room number and I went upstairs. I immediately rest myself on the bed. It's been a long day and thank God my roommates are still not here. I can relax.

I played Taylor Swift's song on my phone and started singing. "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you! Been here all along so why can't you see! You belong with me! Yeah! You belong with----" I stopped when I saw Bea come out from the comfort room inside this room. "Me." I whispered as I try to finish the lyrics. I also stopped the song and sat on my bed acting as if nothing happened.

I tried not to catch Bea's gaze because damn it! I can feel my face turning red! I feel so embarrassed! Why didn't I noticed that someone is in the comfort room? AHH!

"Why did you stop?" Bea asked. I looked at her and she's looking at me intently.

"I---I... nothing." I said. Damn you, Marci! I thought you saw Bea and Madeline awhile ago!

"Jo, can we talk?"

I felt my heart skipped a beat as she walks closer to me.

"Bea, we don't have anything to talk about."

"I know that it's over, Jo. But could you at least please tell me why? Please explain everything to me."

"I left you because it was the right thing to do." I told her.

I saw her frown. "Right thing? Can you hear yourself, Jo? Leaving me was a right thing?"

"Please don't get mad at me." I said as I felt my tears coming out.

"I tried not to, Jo! But I'm slowly losing it! For how many times, I tried reaching out to you, asking you what was wrong about us that made you leave but you would only give me vague answers. How can I not get mad about that?! Why can't you just tell me the truth?! Why can't you trust me?!"

Bea is now crying too and I hate myself even more for seeing her like that. I don't know but I wasn't able to stop myself and hugged her tight. I was shocked when she pushed me away.

"Come on, Jo! Don't make it harder for both of us! Just explain everything to me! Stop confusing me with your actions because I can't take this pain anymore!"

I was not able to talk. I just stared at her, crying.

"What now, Jo? Aren't you gonna say something?"

"You want to know the truth on why did I leave you? I did that for us because I don't want you to get to choose between your family and me! I don't want your dreams to be ruined just by loving me! I don't want your family to leave you just because of me!" I yelled.

I covered my face and cried so hard. I just felt her hug. I was longing for this hug.

"Jo, what do you mean by that?" She whispered while still hugging me.

I was afraid to tell her the whole story because knowing Beatriz, she would really talk to her parents about this. I don't want it to cause another huge problem between us. They might separate us even more.

I looked at her, tiptoed, and kissed her forehead. "Always remember this, Beatriz. I didn't leave because I want to. I didn't leave because I'm tired. I only distanced myself to you, to save both of us." I said and left her in the room. I should control myself. I should avoid telling the whole story because it might ruin everything even more.