Chapter 169 CHAINS AND CLOSURE

Chapter 169 CHAINS AND CLOSURE
NIRELLE

I had never dreaded that I would walk through prison walls to see my mother or anyone. I had no idea why I wanted to see my mother. "You might want some kind of closure," Theo had said when I announced at breakfast that I wanted to see my mom.

Lucien scrunched up his face in disgust, and Zane said that no matter how I explained it, he could not understand why. I had no idea why. Could it be that I wanted an apology? Could it be that I needed them to hear why she did it, even though it was clear that she was being selfish?

I sit in the cold room that feels just a little better than the one she locked Michael in for years. I swallow multiple times as I sit in the chair. Even the presence of the two bodyguards behind me did not make me feel better. Yvette was never going to hurt me, but Lucien did not like the idea of me walking her by myself, and the only condition he had was that I bring the guards with me.

I should have gotten used to it by now, but I could not. The feeling of two men taller than I walking behind me made me more conscious in public than I was. The door creaked open loudly, and Yvette stood in front of it, looking so bad that it made my heart break a little.

"Nirelle?" She asked, her eyes widened in shock. "It really is you," she added as she walked in, the handcuffs clinking against each other loudly. The warden pushed her down into the seat, and she sat down.

"Do you think you can take this off?" Yvette asked, shaking her hands so the cuffs clinked against each other, the noise sharp and loud. The woman looked like someone who was never going to give in. 

"You know that is against the rules." Her voice was cold, and it was almost as if she was asking not to be argued with.

"I know, but don't you think it is unfair that you are tying me up like some criminal in front of my daughter?" The way she spoke almost made me stand up and run out. She still did not think that her actions made her a criminal.

"The rules are rules, inmate 1409," the woman said, and then her eyes flashed to me as if she was asking what I wanted. When I did not say anything, she turned to Yvette and took off the cuffs from one hand, neatly cuffing the loose end to a part of the table. She walked over to the door and stood there, ready to watch over us.

It felt weird seeing the almighty sophisticated Yvette Thamore looking miserable behind bars, yet she still had her chin in the air as if she still owned it all. Her court visits had been horrible since Enoch had refused to help her with legal counsel; she was stuck with a lawyer the city had provided, who did not want to offend the public by trying his best on the case. Everyone knew she was already going to end up permanently behind bars and that the court exercises were mere formalities.

"I did not believe it when they said that you had come; I guess you are my daughter indeed."

"I am not here to reconcile or make peace," I murmured, and her face turned sour. I quietly take out the brown envelope from my bag and put it between us. "Before I let you see what is inside, I have to ask." She looked at me as if she were anticipating whatever I had to say.

"Did you ever love me?"

Of course I did. Did you think I did all of that for myself?"

"You keep saying that you did it for me, yet not once did I ever enjoy it."

"You are enjoying it now, aren't you?" Her eyes ran across my body with envy. "Married to a man who thinks the world of you, dressed in designers even for a prison visit, getting to travel and be the queen of the city..." she trailed off as if she was thinking deeply. "Not just the city, the entire world and all of that was only possible because I brought you to the Thamore mansion."

"I can't believe the nerve that you have," I said, my voice firm.

"You do not have to do good all the time; if what you do can get you what you want, but it is illegal, then there should be nothing wrong with it."

"You are here behind bars, your life restricted, and yet you do not think that your decisions were wrong?" It came out more as a question than a statement. "I do not even know why I came here."

"Because I am your mother, and it means much more than you would like to admit to yourself."

"You might have been the one who birthed me, but it means nothing because you were worse than a stranger to me."

"If I were to go back in time with all I know, I would do it again; I would just leave less evidence along the way," she murmured, and the way her eyes darkened, I could tell that she meant she would have killed a lot of people just to cover her tracks. If there hadn't been any evidence, she might have walked away free.

"It is really a pity that you have to live this way," Taek said, picking up the envelope, the slight ruffling through the entire room echoing. "I brought this for you, and it is just so you know."

"What is it?" She snatched the envelope from my hand and pulled out the document. Her eyes scan over it, and I see the shock on her face grow with each second as she reads. She flips over the page and then stops, eyes flaring up at me with anger. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

"I am doing what I have to do, just like you did what you had to do."

"You can't ask to cut ties with me legally," she said, and I smiled because this was the reaction I had expected from her. I allowed her to at least apologise or try to make it right, yet she was so strong-hearted and stood firm. How could I ever allow the child growing in my belly to be associated with a monster like her?

"You can read it in that document. "I have formally cut all ties with you as my mother, and from now on, you are no longer my mom," I explain, even though I can tell that she understands me.

"You can't do this; this must be fake."

"That means that you can never claim rights on me."

"So if I manage to get out of here, you are saying that I can't come stay with you because I am no longer your mother?"

"I do not want nor need you to aid me."

"A piece of paper can't sever the bond between a mother and child," she murmured. She knew it could be, but she was refusing to believe it.

"Of course it can; it is right in your hands."

"You are pregnant," she announced, like it was the first time I was ever going to hear it. I knew that she would hear about the pregnancy; it had somehow been leaked to the media, and even though we tried to pull it off, many people had already seen it. When Lucien was going to sue, I told him that there was really no need; people could rejoice with us since this was a thing of joy.

"You should know what a mother's love is like."

"Do you know what a mother's love is?" I ask. "You do not; you've never understood the concept even for one moment of your life, so while we can, let's stay away from each other." I stand up.

"You are going to understand soon enough why I went through all of that for my children."

"Soon enough," she added, like it was some kind of curse that was supposed to stay with me forever.

"I wasted my time coming here to even try and get some remorse out of you. You have never been a mother, and you would never be one." I faced the warden, and she bowed to me, walking over to handcuff Yvette again.

"I was sure that you were here to take me with you, but you came to do this?"

"I had to do it to create a sane environment for my child." My hand crept to my stomach gently. "I hope you understand this mother's love." As I walk out of the room, she continues calling after me, not in apology but to tell me that I was making a mistake. The only mistake I made was not trying to do this earlier.

The burden that I seemed to have been carrying for such a long time lifted and made me feel lighter.

"Goodbye, Mom," I murmur as the car rides along the road back to normalcy.