Isabella felt nauseous from the moment she heard Landon's voice. She knew from the start that it would be unavoidable to meet the 23-year-old man since he was also working in her boyfriend's agency. Unfortunately. So the moment she heard his voice, Isabella had the biggest effort to maintain her calm and not to throw up due to the panic attack she was about to have.
Landon seemed to have noticed Isabella's behavior then as he gave her a worried and concerned look, asking her if she'd prefer to talk outside instead. Not a while later, Landon and Isabella reached an enclosed balcony.
"Isabella…What are you doing here?" Landon asked.
Isabella’s fingers clutched tightly on her dress. It wasn't a question, Isabella thought as she remembered the strange stares she had gotten a while ago. As it turned out, all of it was from Landon. He had been watching her since she entered the building.
And now, Landon knew why Isabella was here. He, perhaps, knew everything.
"I…" Isabella opened her mouth, but the words felt stuck in her throat. Her mind went blank. Just what should the proper response be at this time? Should she tell Landon her plans? If he knew, would he understand? How could just anyone understand how she was feeling?
Actually, would there be anyone at all who could do that? Listen to her, understand her intentions, and accept them as they were?
Minutes passed and no one didn't dare to speak. Isabella wanted to say something, anything to prove to this person that she only meant well. Both for her and Chase. She had always meant well.
Always.
Landon let out a long, heavy sigh, as he then finally broke the deafening silence between them.
"Leave him alone, Isabella."
Isabella's lips quivered as she tried to open her mouth and speak but failed miserably yet again.
"Dad said there's a huge possibility it would happen again if his memories came back. He wouldn't be able to take them. Isabella, he might―"
"NO! I'm not leaving him…" Isabella exclaimed as a shudder ran through her whole body. Frightened, Isabella was frightened just by the thought. She balled her hands and stared hard at the ground as she added in a broken whisper, "…not until he asked me to."
"Chase?"
"Chase?"
Chase immediately looked up from his lap to the man across the table and stared at the person's gray eyes. “Huh?” He couldn’t help, after all, but feel startled.
Of all places, who would have thought he would meet his family doctor in AB Entertainment? He was called Dr. Kant, a 50-year-old psychiatrist who had come to Dalton’s residence every now and then before. Chase didn’t have many memories of interacting with this person, but he had the feeling they knew each other. Apparently, Dr. Kant came to the building to visit his son who was currently a trainee under one of the rising star groups. Though until now, Chase didn't fully understand the reason why his family had to have a psychiatrist back then…
"How have you been? It's been years," Dr. Kant faced him with a gentle smile on his face.
They were now inside a cafe near the building which Chase insisted on going to. He also got a text message from Isabella telling him she had already gone home as she suddenly felt unwell, emphasizing Chase didn’t need to worry as she had already taken her medicine. Chase wanted to follow after her as soon as he received the message but at the same time, he didn't want to be too disrespectful so he went out the building with Dr. Kant, who was looking at him with eyes Chase couldn’t understand the meaning of. Chase felt like the doctor was hiding something—a lot of things—from him.
"I've been good. Everything’s well. Yeah, everything’s…” Chase greeted back, briefly sharing what he had been doing for the past years. Dr. Kant listened, as usual, with a neutral and calm expression.
“You know…I've been wondering for years now, Dr. Kant," Chase started, curiosity creeping inside him as he met the older man's gaze with his own.
The doctor nodded as he stared back at Chase, giving a sign for Chase to continue.
"Back then…Why did my family need to have a psychiatrist?" the words that made their way out of his mouth gave Chase a thud in his heart. He had assumed it was because he was facing a psychiatrist, and he'd always believed psychiatrists were too intelligent for their own good. They were too smart to know how the people around them looked at them, felt about them, understood things about them. It was as if they knew how one thought just by looking. It was pretty scary, at least, for Chase it was.
If the doctor was taken aback by Chase's sudden question, he did a perfect job to hide it. Instead, he put his gaze on other things but Chase. Chase looked at him in anticipation, feeling his palms started to sweat. There was inside him that was constantly screaming for answers. Just how many answers the inside of him had screamed for so far?
"Chase, I think there's no need for you to know that. Besides, everything is good now. Didn’t you say so too?" the doctor said once he had regained his usual neutral demeanor.
Chase felt his eyebrows furrowed at the answer. That was definitely not the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted—no, he needed—to hear something else.
"No, I want to know. Dr. Kant, you see, I've been having these weird dreams lately…" Chase trailed off, his eyes widened as he realized his dreams…his dreams could be interpreted and explained by the person in front of him!
"Dr. Kant―"
Dr. Kant's phone suddenly rang, he motioned Chase to stop for a while as he picked up his phone and took the call. He was then getting up from his chair the next second and Chase felt his body doing the same.
"I’m sorry, Chase. I need to go, there’s an emergency," Dr. Kant said as he slid his phone back into his pocket. He stared at Chase for a few seconds before speaking again.
"Chase. I don't know if it'll be good for you," the doctor uttered with a stern voice as he looked seriously at Chase. He looked hesitant for a moment, looking at different places before looking back at Chase once more, a heavy sigh escaping his lips, "But if you really want to know more about those dreams, I want you to get yourself ready. There might be things that await you and can cause a huge amount of damage to your current self. As a psychiatrist and your family's friend, I'm suggesting you not to know more about those things. But if you still insist, then you can come to me. Remember, you can do this, only if you are ready."
"Isabella."
"Reese, I won't. I can't do it," Isabella clenched her palms into fists as her gaze fell down hard on the floor. She immediately called her friend Reese the moment she arrived in her apartment. She couldn't face Chase just yet, not now that she was having a panic attack. The least Isabella wanted to happen was for Chase to discover things just by looking at the weak appearance of her and her stupid anxiety attack.
"Isabella. I understand how you feel. But I don't want you to get hurt. We all don't," Reese's voice was so comfortingly soft to Isabella's ears she had almost wanted to agree with everything the older would say. Just almost.
"Reese, I can't. I can't leave him. I can't live without him," came now the mixed cheesy and emotional younger’s voice. And even though she knew Chase was close to finding out the things she was trying to hide, she just couldn't accept her friends’ advice. Perhaps, she was being selfish. Perhaps, she was being too much of a woman who had only longed after one man all this time.
But she couldn’t leave Chase.
She didn’t want to.
“You’re too stubborn,” Reese said, eyes said with a pained expression. His hands reached Isabella’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “If something happens… You need to tell us first. No matter what, you’re not alone in this. I hope you understand what you truly want is what all of us want too, Isabella.”
“I know. And I’m sorry,” Isabella whispered, and Reese could only give her an empathetic smile as both of them listened to their own hearts breaking, again and again, for the same reason, all over once more.