Chapter 39

It's been five days since Roshini came back to Chennai. As usual, she is going to her work and has been isolated in her own depressing world. Yesterday her friend Anu moved out of the house and her other roommates were thinking in the state of moving too. Since one of them got a job in another company in Bangalore and another one was going to quit her job. Roshini was also thinking about shifting to some other place. It is been two years since she shifted to this house, she doesn't want to move out but she can't stay here alone too.

With this kind of thought her entire days passed. After finishing her work in the office, she came out of the building, the beautiful evening wind welcomed her by stroking her skin gently, and while she was walking to the bus stop, she happened to see a couple walking in front of her. They must be in college, joining their hands and talking. She first got irritated as they didn't give way for her to cross them so she followed staring at what they were doing, the boy said something to the girl in her ears and the girl started to blush with a smile.

Seeing this Roshini reminded about the time where she and Siddharth were together. She occasionally thinks about whether she did wrong by writing her love through that letter.

Sometimes she will have a thought what If her dad didn't get into that accident? What if she got extra courage at that time so she confessed her love directly to him without this letter? Then she won't be going through all of these things.

She is not aware of what made Siddharth cut off all her ties with him and now why he is after her. What he is having in his mind was something that she can never predict... Like he said he called Roshini whether she reached save like old Siddharth with that care and compassion danced on his voice when she came to Chennai next morning. But he didn't call her after that.

She is really sick by this attitude of him, what he is trying to convey by this? one she has to cut off all his thoughts in every possible way or to ask him directly what he is having in his mind since Roshini can't take this torture anymore, she has to do one thing in these two immediately.

She stood on the bus thinking about this and when the bus stopped at her stop she got down, near there was a supermarket. Roshini was out of washing powder and soaps, so she decided to buy that. While gazing at the products and touring the shop she got a call from her mom.

"Amma?"

"Roshini where are you now? In the office?" she asked and Roshini can feel there is something odd in her voice.

"No mom I am going to the house. What? You have anything to tell something?" Roshini asked.

"Roshini... that is... that guy... we met... he is not interested in marrying you," she said in hesitation but Roshini for a minute couldn't grasp what she is telling.

But after getting what she is trying to say Roshini stopped walking and stood there frozen in the middle. "Really?" she exclaimed.

"Yeah Roshini, you don't take this as seriously just forget what I said and concentrate on your work," her mom encouraged her in fear. Since she is guilty about arranging this meeting in advance.

"Mom that is what I am saying please don't involve me in this marriage and all, I am not ready for anything mentally," she said like she is sad but there is not even a bit of that on her face.

"But he is not an only guy in this entire world Roshini, you are getting married soon so don't talk like this way," her mom advised.

"Whatever," Roshini annoyed and ended the call.

Roshini was happy with this decision of Vijay but she had a doubt like what made him take this decision. Am I not up to his expectations? She questioned on the other hand.

After picking what she wanted Roshini came to the cash counter, there she took a few chocolate bars and paid her bills. That time she heard a bid thunderstorm outside and she again got a call.

She thought it must be Nidhi but to her surprise, it is from Siddharth. She first didn't attend it, but her weakness her heart pushed her finger to slide that green signal. Her heart raced than usual and she felt a strange feeling that he is near to her.

"Rosh?" hearing his voice her sleeping emotions started to run throughout her cells. She gulped and calmed herself before answering.

"Yes," she stuttered.

"Roshini I am here!" he announced.

"What?" She smiled hearing that and closed her mouth in an unable to believe what he said.

"Yeah, I was near..." "Where are we?" he asked someone else. Siddharth said that he is near the bus stop and Roshini told him that she is near the shop then Siddharth asked his driver to stop there.

Roshini waited outside for Siddharth to show up. At that time a car stopped before her, and from that, he came out. He looked at her with a big smile on his face and Roshini just stared at him in astonishment.

He suddenly walked taking long strides and hugged her all of a sudden. Roshini eyes widened in shock, she can't believe what the hell is happening here... Feeling like someone has tied her hands Roshini remained like a statue. Momentarily she became mute, not moving, not even breathing because she forgets herself at that moment. The way he is hugging her is not a typical thing. Once Siddharth hugged her but that time it is not that effective like this one... For a moment she forgets her whole existence.

Drawing out from the hug Siddharth gazed her face. He wanted to do this when the moment he saw her with his dad but that time he couldn't and now he has fulfilled his wish.

"I missed you," he said pressing the words hard conveying how much missed her all these days.

It gave shivers to Roshini, her eyes instantly welled with tears. She stared at him with so many thoughts on her mind.

"I am sorry Rosh," telling that he again hugged her forgetting they were standing in a public place.

Roshini getting all her senses wiggled to get out of the hug. "What... you are...doing?" she asked taking a step back and looked down.

Before Siddharth could speak, the rain started to pour. "Let's go to my car," Siddharth said and gripped her hand.

He dragged her with him to the car and getting in Roshini moved to the other side giving a big distance between them. Siddharth looked out the heavy rain, then he turned to Roshini, "Where is your house, shall we go there?" he asked.

"No, my roommates will be there," she replied.

"Then fine," he said. "Drive to the house," he ordered the driver.

"No, no, I can't. I am going to my house," she objected to the idea of going with him to his house.

"But I need to talk with you now," he said strongly.

"Then talk here itself," she again complained.

Siddharth became little pissed off, looking the driver he asked, "I want to talk with you in person, you understand?" he said in an intimidating way since he is afraid to waste any further seconds as time moves he strangely felt Roshini is also moving away from him.

Roshini didn't talk anything and agreed halfheartedly to visit his home. The rain was pouring heavily, and she didn't mind about turning to Siddharth's side. It felt so weird for Roshini to look at him. And not even noticed in which direction the car was heading to in this heavy rain.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her.

"No," she nodded. How I can be hungry in this situation, she thought.

The car stopped before a house. Siddharth opened the door and asked Roshini to come out. Roshini gripping her handbag and the grocery bag came out of the car and the rain started drenching her. She followed Siddharth to the house, it is a big mansion and before reaching the main door they were almost soaked in the rain.

Taking the keys out from his pocket Siddharth opened the door. The fresh smell of paint-filled her nostrils. He went in and Roshini gazing around trailed in.

"I came yesterday only, still things have to be fixed," Siddharth reasoned when Roshini's eyes landed on the unopened boxes.

"Oh..." "But why you came here?" she added.

"We were having an industry here too, my dad's friend Arjun uncle was in charge for this before, but he recently gave back this to my dad and we renovated and I am going to look after this branch from now on," he said and Roshini nodded her head.

"Sit, why you are standing," he said and Roshini sat on the couch with a hesitation. A big house, only he and her made Roshini's heart to run in a marathon.

"I will bring some water," telling this Siddharth headed to the Kitchen.

Roshini started twitching her fingers and bite her lower lip for ending up in a situation like this. In a restless mind and heart, she couldn't sit simply at all so she got up and went near the door. Gazing the pouring rain, she came to the decision of asking Siddharth whether he read her letter. This time she made herself confident. If Roshini loses this golden opportunity where they were alone without anyone or anything to stop in the middle like before then she never gets the courage to ask this to Siddharth again.

"Roshini," he called out her name and Roshini turned to see him.

"Here, I made coffee, since it is cold right?" he said reaching out the hot cup.

"Thanks," she bought it in her hands.

Siddharth gazing Roshini sipped the coffee. "You still wearing this chain?" he asked and Roshini turned her gaze to him. She touched the "S" and her lips couldn't control herself anymore.

"That is..." before Roshini could say.

"Do you still love me that much," Siddharth questioned. Roshini's jaw dropped in shock.

So you read my letter, you know my love... she finally resolved her doubt and sighed in a respite.

Roshini's eyes flooded in tears to realize the answer, for her question she had for all these days.

She felt all her thoughts and emotions that were built in her were started falling out at that moment knowing the reply for the thing that bothered her whenever she thinks about Siddharth. Many times, she said herself that she did a mistake by writing that stupid letter and now it happened. Finally, she got her answer for the inconveniencing thing that turned her sleepless for many nights.

He indeed read her letter, if he didn't then there is no chance for him to ask a question like this to Roshini, cause in no place she confessed that she is in love with him.

Roshini couldn't breathe or stand at all, stumbling on the floor Roshini started to shed tears covering her face. She felt happy that Siddharth acquainted with her love but strangely she felt afraid of the impending things that were going to happen now. She is afraid of herself whether she will hate him after hearing his reasons for taking this decision.

Siddharth stared at her intently as his face was stern without any kind of emotion, he now clearly understood what he has done to her, seeing her crying hearing sobs he felt he done a big mistake in his life, he has terribly hurt her feelings by his stubborn attitude. He acted cruelly, selfishly considering only his life but not her heart or her love cause that time he couldn't do anything than going behind his dad's decision. And now he is regretting and hating himself for making this choice.

He kneeled down in front of Roshini, slowly he reached out his hand and hugged her securely in his arms. He didn't say anything for a few minutes and let her drain all the feelings that tortured her.

Finally, Siddharth opened up his heart where he stored some unspoken words that were now to be told for Roshini, only to her.

"I am sorry Roshini, it was my fault," he patted her, and his voice broken while telling that.

Pulling out from the hug Roshini gazed his eyes that were watery at the corner, it is something that she didn't expect.

"Falling in love was my mistake, not yours," she said and wiped off her tears.

"No, I hurt your feelings for all these days even knowing that you were in love with me," he said looking down.

"When you read that...?" Roshini asked in confusion.

"The day before I left to the US, I read," he accepted, without hiding anymore.

Roshini sighed in an upset to hear that, she closed her eyes before starting to scold him. "Why you didn't... Don't you have any feelings for me at that time?" she asked in a defeated tone. "I know I shouldn't expect you to love me, but I can't help than doing that anyway," she added in an undertone.

Telling this Roshini looked down his reply came only as silence, "Better forget everything I said," Roshini composed herself to stand up. She better wants to leave from here than being a victim of this unrequited love. When she was about to get up, Siddharth again drew her back. Before she could get a grasp, he roughly grabbed her face and slammed his lips on her lips.

Roshini was shocked since what he did is wrong, unacceptable in her perspective, she instantly pushed him. But Siddharth didn't leave her he again kissed, this time his grip was tighter and his hold was strong. She first wiggled her shoulders and pushed his hand that was holding her but before his strength, she is nothing and eventually gave up in this battle.

Siddharth loosed his grip when he found that she stopped opposing, but he didn't take his lips, he kissed her until she wanted it.

When Roshini felt she is losing herself in his trap she strapped him and turned away gasping for air.

"What is this? What you have done?" she exclaimed without meeting his eyes and her eyes again flooded with tears.

"I love you Roshini," Siddharth stated. She looked at him in a very unbelievable way.

"Don't think about leaving me, I won't allow that to happen again," his voice sounded very serious.

"Do you think what we shared was just a time pass? That relationship is fake? No! not at all, I was in love with you crazily for entire-time do you know that?"

"And yeah, I am sorry for hurting your feelings, I don't want to blame on anybody for our separation. Now I am here and I am telling I love you madly, please stay by my side, will you?" he asked directly without any further add-ons and melodramas.

Here comes Roshini's pride and ego, her heart just pushing her to be stubborn. She wanted to make it hard for him.

"No; I don't love you anymore," she retorted. The biggest lie she ever said in her life.

"Don't lie," he clenched his jaw.

"I am not lying, as you already know I am going to marry someone else. So that's it," she sounded a little harsh.

Siddharth chuckled. "You can't marry anyone else than me so stop lying again and again. I already know that Vijay said no for this marriage,"

Roshini was stuck with another surprise. "How did you know that?" she asked gaping.

Because I am the reason for his NO," he casually said and stood up and headed to the couch.

"What... How?" she asked following him.

"Do you really want to know?"

Roshini nodded.

"Then tell that you are in love with me," he asked.

Roshini sighed, "No I can't," she spun annoyed by his attitude. Again, Siddharth pulled her hand and kissed her grabbing her waist close to him.

She felt electrified again to feel his lips. It is strange, weird, and different and she felt something in the pit of her stomach. Her first kiss was stolen by him but she is pleased about sharing with the person she wanted to share with.

"Don't say No again, it turning me to want you more and more," he muttered on her face and Roshini felt goosebumps to hear that.

"Vijay was my schoolmate when I came to know that he is the person that you saw two days back I immediately called him and told about our love," he said releasing her.

"What if there was someone else in place of him. What would do then?" she glared at him.

"I would do anything to get you back," he stated leaving her stunned.

"Rosh... I left but my heart is all around you. I asked about you every day to my dad, and when I came back, I first wanted to see you but again my responsibilities blocked the way to you. But I had a hope that you will be the one for me so that hope encouraged me to stay strong in my love, in our feelings even when I am not beside you."

"But you would have at least called me, or at least a message. I am a fool too as I was in the belief that this love is only about your confession but I forget to take a step in this," she agreed with her mistake and sat on the couch.

"Rosh... don't confuse whether who did wrong and what went wrong, we were bound with our responsibilities at that time. Now we are together with any other reasons to stay apart, please I am pleading you... I want you. I want your love and I want all of you. I can't live without you anymore. Please." he knelt down in front of her and said looking at her. His eyes pleasing her to believe him, without further thoughts Roshini hugged him conveying her answer is yes. She cried and at the same time, she smiles. Happy tears brimmed out from her eyes.

Siddharth with a big smile on his face embraced her tightly. He raised little and drawn out to look at her face.

"Please tell I want to hear that from you," he gasped.

"I love you Siddharth," she heaves a sigh finally she did. She confessed.

Siddharth's face lit up with a wide grin. He again hugged her tight like he never ever wanted to leave her for anything.

"Do you know how much I missed you," she mumbled.

"I am sorry," he apologized for the last time.

They both felt they have thrown away the burden they carried for all these days. In this happiest state, Siddharth realized how beautiful his life when Roshini was with him.

The sound of pattering rain filled in the room, Roshini realizing their closeness moved away and her heart started racing... this feeling she having now was unexplainable. 'Siddharth he is... mine now,' she told to her and felt happy realizing the trueness in this.

He touched her chain and smiled seeing that. "You know what Roshini I purposely made Shiva buy this for you. Even I gave the money for this one and convinced him that you will like this one," he chuckled.

"I know," she beamed.

"I have so many things to tell you...and," he stopped suddenly hearing the sound made by her stomach.

"You must be hungry right?" he asked and Roshini nodded her head.

"I will cook something for you," he roused up and Roshini said that she will help him.

They both headed to the kitchen. It was big, well-furnished and clean. "What you want, I have only a pack of noodles. Tomorrow only I planned to buy groceries. And this rain..." he said. Folding his hand, he looked Roshini.

"Let's cook something using this," she told him.

She then cooked using the limited ingredients and they had their food looking at the rain.

"Hmm great," Siddharth replied when she asked how it is. After a small silence, "I have to go," Roshini said.

"Hmm, l will drop you at your home after the rain stops," he replied like he doesn't like the idea.

"Rosh?"

"Umm?"

"Move in with me," he said firmly.

"But..."

"Don't give any reasons, just move in. I bought this house for us."

Roshini thought for a moment, in her life she is going to take a decision for herself. For just one time she wanted to think for her happiness, for her heart, for her love.

"Okay," she nodded her head.

"Then don't waste any time, tomorrow pack your belongings and I will come there to pick you," he said.

"Hmm," Roshini nodded again.

That night Siddharth dropped at her house asked her to be ready tomorrow. After getting into her room she laid on her bed. She didn't have a second thought about staying with Siddharth, she wholeheartedly took this decision since her heart is telling that she has to do only this, nothing else.