Chapter 2: Is love enough?

I'm leaving– "

"Wait, love. Your bag-"

I had not finished what I was saying when he hurried out. He is late, but he has nothing to eat.

But there is more to it than that - I know he avoids me.

It's been a week, but he hasn't even been able to stare me in the eyes. I do not understand why. I do not understand why now?

I miss Mommy. And I want to cry it all out. But why does he not seem to notice that? I need him! I need him more now, but what is he doing?

He's obviously leaving me behind!

I found myself constantly sobbing while staring at my husband and I's photo album from college until I got married and gave birth to Jihan.

He's an out-of-school youth. He had stopped studying when he was also orphaned by his parents. He would have had a lot of potentials, he could have done a lot, but he could not continue his studies. He was a waiter there at our favorite milk tea shop.

I still remember when we once ordered and how the whole milk tea was poured into the clothes I was wearing. He accidentally poured it, and that's where it all started.

He never failed to take care of me. After what happened, he immediately got out of work and even accompanied me away from there.

He lent me his extra t-shirt and even invited me to leave there to buy new clothes.

I already knew back then that we were not the same. We do not have the same life, even money in our wallets of those days.

He has two hundred pesos while I have tons of thousands in a big purse I am holding, but that does not stop him from caring.

My friends can't do that, sure. If you can only see the disgust on their faces when they turned to me and saw my clothes full of milk tea, you will also realize what I am saying.

It was the first time that I felt. . . wanted. That I also want to be taken care of and also able to think about my condition.

I did not agree to let him buy me some clothes that time, but because he really wanted to make up for it, he forced me to take them.

It was also the first time I rode a tricycle, so I stumbled a few times. He jokingly laughs at me when that happens, so I don't notice the pain anymore. I just remember I was laughing with him.

We became friends. Friends who support each other, those who are always there for each other.

He became my human diary. When I can no longer breathe, he will come to me and make me laugh. He would listen to my complaints and grievances about the school, and then later, I would not realize that I was just laughing with joy.

I became the happiest when I met him. And he is not hard to love.

When we entered into a relationship, I was the one who said we had to keep everything a secret first. He was happy to understand that.

The plan, I will introduce him to mommy and daddy at graduation.

But everything became out of our control.

She got me pregnant just before graduation, so that's where the trouble started.

I know my parents would object first. They want me to take over our company. I know they will never allow me to start a family right away.

But then, it was my dream - our dream. Rod and I promised ourselves that we would be good parents to Jihan. We will do everything we can to not be in trouble. . . we will do everything to make our family happy. Far away from the family, I missed.

When we left home, it was four years ago. We promised each other we would fight.

We did.

When I gave birth to Jihan, our marriage followed. It was actually a town wedding here in Tondo. I was so happy then! You will see so many people in the church who really have smiles on their lips and are very happy.

I wiped the tears that were now scattered on my face. Those were the days when I knew I would come back. Those days I could still go back to mommy, but I never did.

I put down the photo album and immediately hugged Jihan, who was busy playing. Fortunately, he does not cry like the previous days. I also felt that maybe her mother did not feel okay.

"Mama, why is Papa angry?"

My forehead frowned before I turned to him. How does he know that?

"Jiji, why would Papa be angry?"

I tightened my grip on his little hand and then hugged him. He laughs when I smell his neck because he is saying it's tickling.

"Because I talked to him, he had an angry face, and he's shouting."

"When is that?!"

I immediately clenched my fist. I didn't even hear that because maybe because I was so busy preparing, I couldn't control my anger. How dare he?

It would have been okay if he was angry with me and he shouted at me but our child?

I amused Jihan by playing with the little cars he was holding, but I was not able to entertain my mind and remove that little anger from my system.

First, he could no longer speak politely. Second, he was still shouting at our son. I don't even know his problem!

At noon, I could feel the extreme cold and chills. That was surprising because the sun was straight outside.

I just tried to do that until I also felt dizzy. . I quickly picked up the small phone and typed my wife's number to call, but she did not answer.

I stare at Jihan, who is now asleep. He is used to sleeping every afternoon after eating.

I have made eighteen calls, but Rod still does not answer. What is he doing?!

I was in the middle of texting when the phone I was holding suddenly rang. It was Faye, my bestie since college.

She is just my friend who did not lose contact with me, for which I am grateful. Sometimes she also comes here to visit Jihan. He also often brings what kind of food and toys.

Embarrassed, I know she helps us a lot, so I can not help but talk to her either.

"H-Hello?" I answered.

"Jewel! You at your house? I'm on my way! I also have something for–"

"Faye, t-thank you so much. . ."

"Hey! No need to thank you. Wait for me," he said. However, there is something I feel is wrong with the system.

I heard the sound of Faye dropping the call again before I finally closed my eyes.

* * *

I woke up lying on the soft bed, so I knew immediately that I was not at home. I immediately opened my eyes, and the face of the worried Faye was exposed to me.

My son is busy on a small sofa playing on a tablet.

"Je! What? What happened to you? You passed out! The doctor said it's over fatigue! What are you really doing ?!" She asked one question after another, still holding her waist.

He still does not know much. It has no idea that my mommy is gone. It was hidden in the media because, according to Aunt Jessie, daddy did not want to let my mommy publicly commit suicide because it would affect the company.

Daddy should have just died. Not my mommy.

"Mommy is gone," I said to her. I know Faye can be trusted, too. I just want someone to tell me about the illness.

I like Rod, but I have nothing to expect.

"What?!" She was silent for a moment. "No way! That's fake news! There is no news about– shit! Is she really dead?"

Instead of confirming, my answer was just sobbing. The pain still hurts. The pain is still painful to accept that mommy is gone. That I will never go back.

"It's my fault, Faye. I left her, and I left her with Daddy. If I hadn't left, she would still be alive today!"

I still want to cry. I still wanted to get rid of all the pain, but when I turned to the wall clock inside that room, I moved quickly.

"I want to go home, Faye."

It is seven o'clock in the evening. Rod was definitely there, and he definitely couldn't eat because the house was still closed. Jihan and I will not be able to come, and he will definitely be worried.

"Wait, are you okay? You can stay here overnight," my friend replied.

I looked at her with tears in her eyes, "Faye, thank you so much. It's been years now, but you still can't forget me. I want to thank you because I'm not the only one you help but also Jihan. But now, I really want to go home. Rod is coming, and I'm sure— "

I was stunned by her earnest gaze. "He's been too hard on you, right?"

I shook my head quickly. My husband also did a lot of good things for me, so they are nothing compared to that.

"Je, you deserve better, so please. . . don't you 'ever' consume yourself with someone. I can understand if you love him, but, Je, is love enough to lose yourself?"

.