CHAPTER:28

I didn’t notice that I fell asleep and another day has passed and I am still here inside the hospital. It is so quiet that I can almost hear my own heartbeat. I feel pity for myself because I feel like I am a lab rat used for experimentation. While on my bed facing the wall I heard the door slowly opening. I turned around to see who it was. I stood up when I saw the man went inside holding a tray of food again with my medicines. He put it beside me and told me to eat it and take my medicine before going out.

I stare at the food. One pale macaroni soup, egg sandwich, water in a plastic bottle and medicines that I don’t want to take. I eat the egg sandwich and the macaroni soup even though I don’t like the taste because I am already hungry but there is no chance that I will take the medicines that they gave me. Like what I did to the first batch of medicines that they gave me. I stepped on it in front of the camera until it all pulverized and broke into pieces. I looked at the camera again and went back to my bed and lay down there. Facing the wall. counting the days that’s been wasted because they lock me up.

I’m about to fall asleep when I heard the doorknob turning and the door slowly opening. I get up to see who is opening the door. “How are you Helena?” The man asked. I can’t see his face but his voice sounds familiar. He walked close to me and my heart beat fast like I was alive again. My eyes opened wide and my jaw dropped when I saw Echo. There’s a euphoric feeling that I felt and I feel like I want to shout because he is here now.

“Babe,” I said with a smile and I ran to him and hugged him and kissed him because I miss him so much. His looks didn’t change. He is still wearing black like he was wearing before. He is still handsome and that makes me fall in love with him more. I know he will come and rescue me. I pinched my face and tried to hurt myself to know if I am dreaming or not but I feel pain and that means I am

not dreaming. Echo is real. He is really standing in front of me and I am so glad to see him again.

“I knew it,” I said. I held his hand and “Come on, let's go home now” I told him and tried to pull him out of the door but he didn’t move. He is just staring at me quietly.

“What’s the matter?” I asked him

“You will never leave here,” He said. I don’t understand what he’s talking about.

“Come on” I said but instead of going with me he let go of my hand. I looked at him and I asked him if he was joking but he just looked at me and he looked serious.

“Helena, listen” He said and he is not calling me babe now.

“Let’s go home now” I said

“Sit down, Helena, and listen to me” He seriously said so I sat down on my bed and waited for him to talk. Is he going to break up with me? Maybe he found someone else while I am here? I will kill that girl once I get out. He looked straight into my eyes.

“YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE HERE” He said and wants me to understand. I looked at him to see if he was joking but he is serious and that makes me feel nervous.

“Why, babe?” I asked him. His stare at me and his voice changed and it suddenly became cold.

“Did you remember the first time you met me?” He asked mysteriously while still staring directly into my eyes. I tried to remember but I can’t remember. I want to ask him “why?” but something inside me stops me from asking.

“I am you, Helena and you are me” He said and I couldn’t believe what I saw. He changed himself in an instant he became me.

“No, you are just kidding me, Echo” I said but she laughed and I heard my other me talking. The voice is the same as my voice. The way she laughed and looked at me. It is really me and then she changed back to Echo

“Accept it Helena, I am not real because you just created me” He said. Still looking at me.

“REMEMBER HOW YOU CREATED ME” He said, wants me to remember everything and “WE ARE ONE, HELENA, WAKE UP!” He added while still looking at me. Waiting for my reaction. Waiting for me to accept who is the real “Him”

I closed my eyes because there’s a scene flashing in my head again. Like a movie sequence playing in my head. I suddenly remember it all now. I suddenly remember all that makes me shiver and this is what happened…

Arvin and I are home alone. We are watching a movie on my laptop. We take out foods like pizza, burgers and tacos. We even bought beer to enjoy the night. First, we are just relaxing, caressing each other while watching a movie. He was sweet to me. We are kissing each and touching each other. Until he brought something out from his bag that would ruin our night and that was cocaine. He rolls a piece of paper and starts using cocaine. He forced me to use cocaine too but I refused because I don’t like it. It was not my type. Arvin who is smart, sweet and handsome has a dark secret and that is being addicted to cocaine. After using cocaine he became so aggressive. He starts kissing me to the point that he is forcing me and hurting me already. I remember what Brother Mike did to me when I was a kid. The sexual abuse and forcing. I remember it all because he was forcing me now and sexually abusing me. I tried to warn him but he didn’t listen. He ripped off my skirt and blouse even though I told him NO!

He tried to rape me and I fought him back. He punched me on my stomach and told me to give it all even though I don’t want to. This is not the night I wanted. The sweet boyfriend that I knew became so violent in an instant. I pushed him hard and he fell on my laptop that is why my laptop screen broke. I tried to run but he grabbed me by my hair. He slapped my face and started kissing me again but I

kicked his penis and I saw his face turned red and it was my chance to run away from him. I ran before he regained his strength. I tried to open the door but I couldn't open it. I don’t know how he locked it so that I can’t open it. I am so scared and I don’t know what to do because my boyfriend, who I thought loves me, has turned to be my enemy now. I went inside to my parents room and hid there while wishing that this night would end. I hid under the bed and I am trying to control my fear because my heart is beating fast. I am scared that he might hear it. I hear him whistling and I can hear his footsteps too.

“Helena, babe, the game is over… you can go out now” He said but I didn’t come out from where I was hiding.

“Mine is big, fat and it is like jack hammer… I can satisfy you babe and you will not regret it” He added and he started whistling again. I know he is still looking for me because I can still hear his footsteps. Until his footsteps stopped.

“Ahhh!!!” I screamed when he suddenly grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out from under the bed.

“Gotcha!” He said and he threw me on the bed. Put my legs up and started kissing me again.

“No” I begged but he didn’t listen

“Stop, please” I begged again but he didn’t stop. He is like a hungry lion craving for meat. I can feel his breath and saliva all over me and he is raping me, struggling me and I can’t breathe anymore.

I saw a flower vase made of steel on the table beside the bed. I grabbed it before he killed me and I hit him hard on his head. In an instant he let go of me and I know he felt dizzy. His head is bleeding and he is standing in front of me. I don’t know what happened that night but one hit on his head is not enough. It didn’t give me satisfaction, which is why I hit him again on his head. I hit him again and again and again. He falls to the floor but I still keep on hitting him. Until I feel his skull breaking and the pieces of his flesh same as his blood scattered on the floor. I sat down because I got tired of hitting him. I looked at him when I suddenly realized that I killed him wearing his school uniform. I killed Arvin. I stutter because I got scared. I don’t want to be in jail because of this. I don’t know what to do. I can’t think clearly because my mind is clouded because of what happened. I went inside my room and lit Arvin’s cigarette to calm me down and that was the first time that I learned how to smoke a cigarette but the cigarette won't help me. I turned on the radio and I played a Christian song to help me calm down. I played the “Give thanks” from Don Moen. Until I decided to bury Arvin in the backyard. I bury all the evidence too. The vase, his bag, the beers, the box of pizza and everything that can put me in jail. I cleaned his blood and flesh on the floor too and after my murder to Arvin I decided to quit school because everybody knows that I am Arvin’s girlfriend. I know they will ask Arvin to me and it will remind me of the killing that I made. I decided not to engage in any social media either. To stay away from stress that might trigger me to the murder that I did. I stay away from the world not because of the depression about my nanny Silva’s death but because of the murder. I killed Arvin.

After cleaning the mess, I am still scared and weak. I feel like I want to breakdown. I looked at myself in the mirror and I cannot see myself anymore. I don’t know who the girl is looking at me. I felt guilty about what I had done to Arvin. I closed my eyes and tried to fix myself, to put myself back together. I need to be strong and when I opened my eyes again I saw a man standing behind me and I named him Echo. A man who will fight for me because I am scared, who will make me strong because I am weak, who will protect me because I am defenseless and most a man who will love me because I am unloved. I created him based on my needs and I realized that I am all alone by myself. All the make love, the hugs and kisses, the “I love you's”, the last waltz dance, the killing of John, the killing of Belinda, the hitting of Brother’s Mike’s legs, the kidnapping of Brother Ven is all ME!

I remember when Belinda asked who is Echo. It is because she can't see Echo. It is because Echo is not real that is why he is ECHO. an echo inside my head. A voice that I created, the character that I created. THAT IS WHY WE ARE ONE!

Out of conscience. I also make myself believe that I am God’s angel and I did the right thing to Arvin because he is evil and needs to be punished. Now I remember everything and I couldn’t believe it.

“That is why you will never leave here, Helena,” He said while still looking at me. His voice is like an echo repeatedly whispering in my ears.

“Accept the fact, Helena”

“No” I whispered while covering my ears and shaking my head.