Harmino, Kabanata 17

Lumipad kami ni Nirca papuntang New Zealand, balak kasi naming mag-enjoy muna sa pagpunta sa kung saan saan bago kami pormal na ikasal. Well, pwede naman naming gawin iyon kahit kasal na kami, pero gusto lang namin i-makeup iyong ilang taon na hindi kami magkasama.

Nakatingin lang sa mga mata ko si Nirca na para bang ito ang pinakamagandang tanawin na pinapanood niya sa buong buhay niya. Kung makatingin siya sa mga mata ko, parang may mababasa siyang kung ano roon.

"Do you know how beautiful your eyes are?" she whispered with her head on her pair of hands. "Your eyes are the dreamiest eyes I've ever seen. It lives in my head rent free even when I sleep,"

I smiled I touched her nose using mine. We stayed still for a while before touching each other's lips. It was pure, simple and passionate. I don't know how to explain it, loke a natural happy kiss? Nararamdaman ba 'yon ng ibang tao sa minamahal nilang kapareha?

It was tender and sweet, like it came from a movie.

In my life I never thought I would be this happy. If I have known, I wouldn't have complained about having it hard since I was born because it was all worth it. If I will be able to talk aboutsomething to say to my younger self, I would tell her how thankful I am for her that she didn't give up. 

Because I wouldn't have met her wonderful friends, Nirca, my kind workmates and my sisters' partners. I would've crossed other path. I would've been unhappy. Things get better, I can prove it now. Sometimes if you have it really hard in your life, maybe you're in 'happens' on the quote 'everything happens for a reason'. Who would've known if you'll be a famous band member? Or you'll get promoted on your job next year with a position higher than you thought you can reach? Maybe that person you're crying to because they left your life is meant to leave. You dodged a bullet!

Because you never know what happens tomorrow and you must not fear it. Whatever it is in the future, you shouldn't worry and live every present like it was the last day of your life. Because things will get better. Tables will turn. You will have your life back, happier than ever. 

Si Thea ang event planner para sa kasal namin sa labas ng Pilipinas. She's actually known as a designer on the Philippines but ended up being an event planner because she enjoys it more. I'm proud of her.

"Gusto ko may malaking slit sa wedding gown ko, iyong makikita sana kaluluwa ko" sabi ni Nirca sa video call namin ni Thea sa laptop.

Tiningnan ko siya. "Malaking slit sa wedding gown mo?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.

Umakbay siya sa akin. "Tol, ganoon talaga pag showbiz. Pa-bonggahan ng kasal. Ang dami daming kasal na nang inggit sa akin. Hindi ako papayag na simple lang ang kasal natin, patutunugin ko 'to sa media para malaman nila kung gaano ako ka-proud makasal sa diyosang kagaya mo." tinaas baba niya pa ang kilay niya.

Inirapan ko siya, medyo natawa pa ako sa hitsura niya.

"Bagay talaga kayong dalawa. Iyong isa parang baluga kung gumalaw majority of the time, iyong isa naman ugaling takas mental." umiling-iling si Maxea sa tabi ni Thea. "Kumusta na nga pala kayo riyan? Kayo ha. . . Huwag kayong gumawa nang kung ano-ano. Tandaan niyong hindi pa kayo kasal!"

"Hoy Maxea, gago ka!" inambahan ko siya sa screen na babatuhin ko siya ng tsinelas pero tumawa lang siya. "Hindi kami gumagawa ni Nirca ng ganoon, 'no! Ikaw talaga. Baka nandyan si Dortan at marinig ka pa." 

"Sus, hindi naman nakakaintindi ng tagalog ang batang iyon." 

"Are you sure about that, auntie?" Dortan suddenly popped out from nowhere. 

Napahawak si Maxea sa dibdib sa labis na gulat. Kahit ako nga na ka-video call lang nila ay nabigla sa biglang pagsulpot ni Dortan, siya pa kayang mismong nakakaranas nito? Hindi pa nga pala siya masyadong sanay kay Dortan dahil kami lang ng aking pamangkin ang palaging nagb-bonding noon sa New Jersey noong ikinasal sila ni Thea.

"Bakit ka nandito? Inubos mo na hotdog ko ah!" bahagyang sigaw ni Maxea at sinundan ng tingin si Dortan na naglakad sa likod niya para lang tabihan si Thea. Nataranta naman ang loka-loka at tinakpan ang sariling asawa. "Bawal kang tumabi sa misis ko!"

"At sinong may sabing bawal?" tinaasan siya ng kilay ni Thea tsaka binatukan. "Ikaw talaga, pati bata ay pinapatulan mo. Pag sinuntok kita ryan ha. Tumigil ka na!"

Humarap sa amin si Thea nang maayos, kumandong naman si Dortan sa kanya. 

"Hi auntie, I miss you," Dortan smiled at me. "When you get married and have kids will you forget about me then? Please don't and come back here! Or else I will remove your hairs using a razor as you sleep."

Tumawa si Nirca sa sinabi ng batang lalaki. "Don't worry, we can't have kids. You don't have to worry about that and be a good boy instead so I will play with you too, alright?"

"Okay, Tita Nirca," the boy pouted. "You promised to buy me a big bumblebee toy. You didn't forget about it, right?"

Nirca nodded happily. "I didn't."

"Dortan, come out! Stop pestering your aunties!" I heard Mason's muffled call on her son.

Tumakbo agad palapit doon si Dortan kaya naiwan ulit ang mag-asawa.

"What kind of wedding do you want? Church? Garden? Beach? Name it." Thea asked.

Napaisip si Nirca. "I want both church and beach, is that possible?" she asked Thea.

"Should we book a church near a beach?" Maxea asked, she's her wife's assistant.

"No." umiling agad si Nirca at muling napaisip. "I want a double wedding. Matagal ko nang pangarap iyon, hindi lang ako makapili sa dalawa kasi parehas na maganda at gusto kong maranasan. Ganoon din naman ang gusto ni Syne kaya kung posible, dalawang wedding sa isang araw ang gawin natin. Sa umaga na lang sa church."

"Then let's do the reception at the beach and you can also walk there and repeat what you said on the wedding ceremony so it's less hassle. What do you think?" Maxea asked.

"Should we do that?" I asked Nirca.

Humarap siya sa akin. "What do you think? If you like it then I'll go with it."

I nodded. "I think that'd be great. Update us immediately, okay? And call us if you have questions anytime. Hindi naman kami gaanong nakakatulog ni Nirca, eh."

Well, totoo naman. Palagi kaming nagsasayaw ni Nirca, kahit na tinatamaan na kami ng sinag ng araw sa ilalim ng puno. Tanging huni lang ng hibon ang nagsisilbing musika sa amin.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of it. Thanks for the cooperation." ngumiti si Thea. "Congratulations again! Have a wonderful vacation, stay safe and come back healthy!" 

Maxea waved at us for a goodbye. Nirca and I waved back before ending the call.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Nirca at sabay na napangiti bago pinlay agad ang na-pause na music na aming pinakikinggan dahil sa tawag. We played Iyaz's song 'So Big' to have fun.

♪ Now with a girl like you, nothing you can do ♪ 

♪ But give the whole world to her 24-7 ♪

♪ When she looking so sweet, that kind of body ♪

♪ You don't mind spending all of your time, time, time ♪

Tumayo kami sa kama ni Nirca na magkahawak ang kamay. Ibinigay ko sa kanya ang isang suklay para magsilbing mic niya. Tumatawa kami habang kumakanta at nakatingin lang sa isa't isa.

♪ And it's not that you're asking me for nothing ♪ 

♪ I just wanna show you how deep my love is ♪

♪ 'Cause with them girls before, I wasn't feeling so gone ♪

♪ But with you, girl, I'm losing control, yo ♪

Nirca spinned me around with loud laughter, pure and genuine happiness on her eyes and lips while dancing and looking at me.

♪ I wanna do it, so big ♪ 

♪ 'Cause, girl, we are so big ♪

♪ Let's pop them bottles, so big ♪

"Like superstars, so big, we taking over, so big. . . We got that love so big, let's make it global, so big. . ." pagkanta namin ni Nirca at sabay na tumalon-talon sa saya habang kumakanta.

♪ So the whole world knows my love for you is so big ♪

♪ My heart is so big ♪

♪ My love is so big ♪

♪ For you, for you, for you ♪

Napaupo kaming dalawa sa pagod. Siya ay inilabas pa ang dila para lang maipakita sa akin kung gaano siya napagod doon. Nang makita ko ang mukha niya ay pinagtawanan ko siya kaya mas lalo akong hiningal. Medyo natatawa rin siya pero nagpanggap siyang naiinis at tila gaganti sa akin gamit ang halik pero nagtatakbo ako palayo.

"Halika rito!" sigaw niya, nag-patintero kami sa loob ng kwarto.

"Ayaw ko!" I giggled and ran around. "Catch me if you can, Nirca Elaine!" hamon ko sa kanya.

Hinabol niya ako ulit.

In just a glimpse of an eye, our marriage was successful. Everything was perfect even the guests and media Nirca invited. They all flied from the Philippines all the way to this country just to get legally married. She was not willing to keep me a secret. She was proud to marry me in front of everyone, setting aside the judging eyes of some people out there.

Sa beach ay may lumapit sa aming reporter para magtanong.

"The public thought you were still dating Arwen De Salas until now. May I ask what really happened between you two, if that's okay?" 

Nirca held my waist to pull me closer to her before answering the reporter's question. 

"Arwen and I were good friends but he told me before that he likes me. Since I like someone else, we continued as friends as the rumors about us grew. There was nothing romantic between us. The article who wrote the article about my agency confirming our relationship already took down the fake news they wrote. I feel sorry for those people who're rooting for us, but I never liked Arwen romantically because there is only one girl in my life that I would ever like to have as my partner, the girl I've loved 13 years ago and I married that girl today." she kissed my hand on the camera.

"What can you say about those people who still have something negative to say about your relationship?"

"Well, I don't have anything important to say about them, really. I don't even know why they care much in my private relationship. But I hope they stop spreading negative things. Kindness is free. If you don't have something nice to say, better shut your mouth. Because even if they say the meanest things to me, nothing will ever change because I am Nirca Elaine Harmino and I don't care what they think of me. People judge whenever they want to. It's your choice to accept their nonsense criticism or continue living happily. I will forever choose the second one. I don't know why they judge me that easily because if they've known even the 10% of my love and memories with Mnemosyne, they would understand why I married her today. Love is love, it's equal to any gender. Stop discriminating against other people just because you don't even love yourself."

Nalaglag ang panga ng reporter sa mahabang sagot ni Nirca. Proud kong tiningnan ang aking asawa. Tumingin din siya sa akin na para bang proud din siya sa sarili niyang sagot.

"Ayos ba?" she mouthed.

Nag-'okay' sign ako sa kanya at ngumiti.

"Teka lang, Nirca, huwag mong sirain iyong dress, sayang!" pagmamakaawa ko sa asawa ko dahil gigil na gigil siya sa pagtanggal ng dress ko sa gabi ng kasal namin.

Kagat-kagat pa ni Nirca ang balikat ko. Nasa likuran ko siya. Ihinarap niya ako sa malaking salamin. Doon ay nakita ko ang repleksyon niya at ng dress niyang napunit dahil sa pagmamadaling maghubad. Ang dress ko naman ang gusto niyang sirian ngayon.

"Hubad, 20 seconds lang o sisirain ko lang," aniya.

I gulped and slowly took it off. I immediately felt her fingers in between me. I glared at her, can't she wait?! Is she this excited?

Hinawakan niya ang mukha ko at hinalikan ang aking labi. "Stop glaring at me, you're just making me more horny, fuck. . ."

I smiled evily.

"Maghinay-hinay ka, Nirca. Kaka-kasal lang natin. Huwag kang mag-alala, hindi naman ako tatakbo, sa 'yong sa 'yo lang ako." I said, getting ready for our first passionate night as a wedded couple.

She kissed my shoulders. "Ako rin, sa 'yong sa 'yo lang ako, Syne. . ."

Sa isang iglap ay bumaliktad ang pwesto namin, siya ang ihinarap ko sa salamin. "Ako na ang bahala sa 'yo simula ngayon. . . Akala mo siguro hindi ko ito pinaghandaan?" I whispered in her ears. "I waited for twelve years just to touch you again like this." I inserted my finger between her thighs.

####

Harmino, Kabanata 18

I finally learned it. I understand now. That when you can't seem to fit in, you're meant to lead.

You don't have to compete for something that is meant for you. Because if that thing is really for you, it will always find a way just to see you again. Sometimes you should let something go so it could come back so much better than before.

Magkahawak lang ang kamay namin ni Nirca nang pumasok kami sa simbahan.

Ikakasal na ngayon si Malax na ngayon din ang kabuwanan. Ewan ko ba sa babaeng 'yan, pinagsabihan na ni Mason na pagkatapos na magpakasal pero namilit pa rin dahil ayaw daw niyang magka-stretch mark sa sariling kasal at baka iwan siya ni Thunder.

Nasa harapan namin si Dortan na panay ang tingin kay Nirca. Pati siya ay nagagandahan dito. Sino ba naman kasing hindi magagandahan kay Nirca? 

Nirca smiled at me when she noticed I was staring at her for too long. "Gandang ganda ka na naman sa 'kin?"

"Oo, ang ganda-ganda mo. . ." I was lost in her magestic eyes. "Ang swerte-swerte ko naman sa 'yo."

Ngumisi siya at hinalikan ako sa noo bago napunta ang tingin namin sa mga susunod na naglakad sa pasilyo. Every girl was wearing light green dresses and boys were wearing suits with sky blue gray suit jackets.

"Kasal na kaming lahat," biglang bulong ko sa kawalan.

"I'm happy for everyone," Thea on my side whispered. She then looked at me with happiness in her eyes. "I'm happy we all found love."

"Congratulations to all of us," ngumiti ako.

Sa kalagitnaan ng paglalakad ni Malax sa altar ay nagulat kami nang bigla siyang sumigaw. Akala ko ume-extra lang sa sarili niyang kasal pero ang gaga kong kapatid, manganganak na pala!

"Wah! Puputok na! Hoy! Huwag niyo akong tingnan, tulungan niyo ako!" sigaw ni Malax at napaupo sa sahig.

Nagkagulo lahat ng guests sa pagtawag sa ambulansya at sa kung sinong satanas para lang madala sa Ospital ang kapatid ko. Kabadong-kabado si Mason habang tinutulungan niya si Malax makatayo.

"Naku, inabutan na," medyo napangiwi si Nirca roon. "Dadalhin na sa Ospital, tara na. Gusto kong makita iyong baby. . ." hinila niya ang kamay ko.

And Malax delivered another baby boy. 

"Hello, Codrus," Nirca carefully held the baby boy in her arms. "Tangi, look how beautiful his eyes are. It looks like your eyes."

"Hoy! Pinaghirapan kong iluwal iyan tapos sasabihin mo lang na kamukha ni Syne ang mata!" reklamo ni Malax na namumutla pang nakahiga sa hospital bed. "Mag-anak na kasi kayo. May sarili naman kayong pera para bumili ng donor, ah? O kaya mag-ampon kayo--"

"Huwag mo silang pangunahan, baby," kalmadong sabi ni Thunder sa kanya.

"Ano ba? Nagsa-suggest lang naman ako." nagkibit-balikat ang kapatid ko.

Hindi siya pinapansin ni Nirca na tuwang-tuwa lang na pinapanood ang munting galaw ni Codrus. Her eyes are sparkling, that's also how she looks at me. It's like when you look at her eyes and when she looks into mine, she's about to tear up but turns out it's her look of love.

"Little angel," maingat niyang hinawakan ang munting pisngi ng sanggol. "Grow up well. . ."

"Nirca, ako naman, ibigay mo sa akin ang baby ko!" sabi ni Maxea na naiiyak na nakatingin kay Nirca na buhat-buhat ang bata. Halatang pati siya ay natutuwa sa pagbuhat ni Nirca sa bata kaya sumisingit.

Siniko siya ni Thea at sinamaan ng tingin. "Maghintay ka ryan, Maxea Avery!" 

Hanggang sa paglabas namin ng Ospital ay kumikinang lang ang mga mata ni Nirca. Hindi man sumilay ang ngiti sa labi niya ay puno naman ng kaligayahan ang kalawakan ng mata niya.

"Should we get a baby?" I asked her while buckling my belt.

She glanced at me and smiled. "I'm good for whatever you want, Syne. You don't have to force yourself if you don't want one."

"No, seriously," I stared at her. "I mean, we're not getting any younger, tangi. I think it's a great idea."

Humarap siya sa akin, tumaas ang gilid ng labi niya dahil doon. "Weh? Talaga? Gusto mo?"

Natatawa kong tinuro ang ngiti niya. "Hindi halatang excited ka, ah?"

"Gusto mo talaga?" she asked again. "May mga naiisip na agad akong pangalan. Kailan tayo gagawa?"

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. "We don't have to do that, meron pa namang mga bata riyan na mas kailangan ng maayos na tirahan at pamilya." sabi ko. "Turn around, sa orphanage tayo dumiretso."

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya dahil doon. "Like, right now?!" gulat niyang tanong na tinanguan ko naman. 

Nagmamadali siyang lumiko. Excited na excited siya habang nagd-drive. Hindi niya na naitago dahil lumapad ang ngiti niya sa labi. Habang nakatingin ako sa kanya ay nakangiti rin ako. I really like seeing her happy.

"Ilan ang kukunin natin?" She asked me like she was only asking how many candies are we going to buy.

"We can take up to five. I mean, we're both financially stable. We can provide for them. . ."

"Ayokong biglain ka, dalawa muna." aniya at ngumiti. "I have someone in my mind right now. I want to take Inoue."

My brows furrowed. "The little girl with blue eyes?" she immediately nodded as an answer. "Foreigner ba iyon?"

Tumango siya. "Oo. Nung una ko nga 'yong nakita, ikaw agad naalala ko kaya mas close kaming dalawa kesa sa lahat. Ang bait din nung batang iyon, tumutulong sa akin magluto. Natuto siyang magluto na pinapanood lang ako." masayang kwento niya.

"Really? Then we should really take her. . ." pinapanood ko lang siya habang ako ay nagsasalita.

"She can also sing, dance, write and draw! She's very good at playing the flute too! I bought all of them a flute once and when they played it, she's the one standing out. I'm really happy when I'm with that girl! Para kaming may lukso ng dugo kahit wala naman kaming koneksyon sa isa't isa." aniya.

My smile widened. I'm sure we'll take that kid.

Pumasok kami sa loob ni Nirca. Saktong may madre na papasok at may dalang baby. Kumunot ang noo ko dahil mukhang kapapanganak lang ng baby dahil sobrang liit pa.

"Ano 'yun?" I asked my wife.

Nakakunot din ang noo niya kaya agad siyang nagkibit-balikat. "I don't know. Let's go there to see it." She held my hand.

"Mother!" tawag naming dalawa roon sa madre.

Inabot pa kami ng siyam-siyam bago humarap iyong madre. Napangiti naman agad ito nang makita kaming dalawa.

"Nirca, Mnemosyne. Naparito kayo? Congratulations nga pala sa kasal niyong dalawa sa ibang bansa." bati nito.

Ngumiti ako. "Salamat po," bumaba ang tingin ko sa baby. "Kaninong baby po 'yan?" I asked her.

Tumingin siya roon bago ako malungkot na nginitian. "Ahh, ang batang ito ay nakuha namin sa tapat ng isang bakery. Hindi manlang pinapansin nung may-ari, buti at napadaan kami para bumili ng pagkain. Kawawa naman ito, mukhang kapapanganak lang." sabi nito. "Bakit nga pala kayo naparito?"

"Kukunin po sana namin si Inoue," sagot ni Nirca at pasimpleng tumingin doon sa batang lalaki na hawak ng madre. 

Nanlaki ang mga mata ng madre saglit bago tumawa. She guided us inside, making us witness the happiness of children while playing with each other innocently.

Ang daming pagpipilian. Pero bakit ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko pag nakikita ko ang batang lalaki na 'yon?

"Inoue, halika rito," tawag ng madre sa batang kakaiba ang mga mata.

Masaya at nagmamadaling tumakbo ang batang babae na nakaponytail sa amin. Napangiti agad ako at tumingin kay Nirca na nakangiti rin. Excited na talaga siya, ah?

"Bakit po?" Then she looked at us with surprise. "Ate Nirca at Ate Mnemosyne! Hello po!" she waved happily.

Umupo ako para maging magka-level kaming dalawa. "How old are you?"

"Six!" bibong sagot nito.

Hinarap ko si Nirca bago ko ibinalik ang tingin sa bata.

"Do you want a family?" I asked the kid.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ng bata. "Y-Yes! Yes! I want a family. Gusto ko po!" tumingin siya kay Nirca na may kaba at excitement.

"Ano sa tingin mo sa amin bilang mga magulang mo, Inoue?" Nirca sat too.

The little girl looked at both of us with teary eyes. "S-Sa inyo?"

"Mh-hm." Nirca nodded and tucked the few hair strands behind Inoue's ears that's from the girl's face. "What do you think about that, Inoue?"

"G-Gusto niyo po ba akong ampunin?" tanong ng bata sa amin.

Tumango ako na may malapad na ngiti sa aking labi. "Gusto mo ba sa 'min?"

Agad siyang tumango. "S-Sa inyo po? O-Opo! Gusto ko po! Gusto ko po sa inyo!" her tears started falling. Pinunasan agad iyon ni Nirca pero agad na suminghot ng sipon si Inoue. "T-Talaga po ba? Iuuwi niyo a-ako sa bahay niyo, Ate Nirca, Ate M-Mnemosyne?"

Tumango agad ako at yumakap sa kanya bago ko siya binuhat. Nagkatinginan kami ni Nirca. Ngumiti agad siya nang maintindihan ang tingin ko.

"Mother," tawag nito sa madre. "Pwede bang. . . Ampunin din namin ang batang iyan?" she asked about the baby the nun was carrying.

Nanlaki agad ang mga mata ng madre at agad na tumango. "Oo naman, anak! Naku, akala ko matatagalan pa ang bata rito. Mabuti at dumating kayo. . ."

Nirca held the little boy in her arms.

"I want to name this kid 'Rohan'," she says.

Ngumiti ako. "That's nice. Rohan Bramwell or Rohan Jaxith?"

"Rohan Jaxith." she immediately chose.

Maraming proseso, pasasalamat na namin at nalagpasan namin iyon lahat nang magkasama.

Today, we're finally parents of Rohan Jaxith and Inoue Rhaenyra. Maiuuwi na namin sila sa bahay na si Nirca mismo ang gumawa.

I glanced at the little girl on the backseat happily sitting. I can feel her excitement just by looking at her feet moving non-stop.

"Are you that excited, baby?" I asked her.

"Y-Yes po, mommy," nahihiyang sagot nito sa akin. "S-Salamat po, sa pagkuha sa akin,"

"I was only waiting for Mnemosyne so I can take you, Inoue. Welcome to the family." Nirca smiled at her thrn stared at the baby I'm carrying before whispering. "We'll be a great parents. You're going to be a good mother. . ." 

I, Mnemosyne Zcimin Crosette together with Nirca Elaine Harmino, my sisters and including our precious little ones Rohan Jaxith and Inoue Rhaenyra Crosette Harmino, will promise to enjoy our lives until then.

I used to dream about going to heaven someday. But turns out I don't have to die to experience it because Heaven is a place on Earth with Nirca. Because now, I don't have to feel unwanted. Because with her, I'm sure I'll be chosen.