Epilogue

Author's Note: Hello, this is the last part of Harmino (Les Tendres #5) take note that the Les Tendres Series is just a series of novellas which means they are all short stories so please don't wonder why the events are moving too fast. See you in Les Tendres #6, Karcel and Armenia's story! The title is 'Lewis'.

Thank you for your time and congratulations for finishing this short story! :) Love lots.

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Harmino, Epilogue.

Wrecked. I've never felt so important, felt so belonged.

I've never felt so happy, felt accepted, after she came to my life. She's the woman I've always wanted, the one I love always and forever.

My love for her was young, mature, and freeing. It was like I found the perfect color and brush for my art, to complete a masterpiece. To achive where I am right now, what I achieved, is the masterpiece of her, the artist that made me like this. 

I used to hangout with boys just to feel belonged before.

"Zcimin taba! Zcimin taba!" 

They're bullying her again?

"Don't tell me you're going to help her again," that voice belonged to Brelenn.

"But calling someone 'taba' is bad right, Brelenn? We should help her." I glanced at him.

"Yes, Nirca is right, Brelenn. We must help that child. It seems that those children are just jealous of her because she is beautiful and has a race so there is nothing bad except her body." That's Renice, my classmate. She's with her friend named Harper who barely talks, she just likes musical instruments.

We're currently on our school bus. From Tamizen International School, we passed through a public school and saw the girl and her bullies. The bullies were taking her lunch box and her tablet where she plays Fruit Ninja, while insulting her body.

"They're dirty, I hate people." Jayde Arzhel looked blankly at the girl. "Poor people."

Without anyone noticing other students on the bus, I went down. 

"Nirca, wait!" Brelenn tried to stop me by holding my hand and I immediately removed his hands.

"I have my phone, I know how to call mom now! I'm already seven, I'm big! I'm a grown up. Don't worry about me." 

The bus driver didn't notice and left. My friends Renice, Laurel and Brelenn were just looking at me, until I disappeared from their sight.

I immediately ran towards the girl, kicking her bullies one by one. I feel like a boy! 

Before they ran off, I pulled the two guys who's holding her lunch box and tablet. "Give me that! That is not yours! You have no right to take someone's things, it doesn't belong to you! Robbers!" 

Scared because I was bigger than them, they gave me the little girl's lunch box and tablet. 

The girl with pink cheeks, brown eyes and two red ribbons on her hair pigtails looked at me with horror. She thought I'm walking near her just to hurt her, but of course not! I will never hurt anyone. 

I will never break someone's heart!

She's so tiny, why is she in a school with her being that little? Is she a two year old or three? But she's wearing a uniform! Mom said when I was three that I would only wear a uniform when I turned five. So is she five?

"I won't hurt you," I slowly sat beside her.

Her uniform was dirty because of the dirt she landed on when the bullies were taking her belongings. 

I gave her the things. She looked at me with surprise.

"Ayaw mo niyan?" her small voice asked me.

"Huh?" I couldn't understand what she was saying. Is she speaking Tagalog? I don't understand Tagalog yet.

But why is she speaking with an American accent? She looks american. She's what they call caucasian, right! I used to see girls like her in my mom's magazines. I never thought I would see one in person and she's this tiny! And she speaks a language I couldn't speak!

"I don't understand,"

"Hindi kita maintindihan," 

Her eyes watered. Is it because she couldn't understand me? Oh no! This is bad, so bad!

But she didn't cry, I think it's just her normal eyes that I didn't notice that were very watery earlier.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

Looks like that's the only thing I said that she understands.

"Synemin." She answered.

"But I heard them call you Zcimin?"

"Synemin." she innocently repeated. She took one of her pigtails' red ribbon and gave it to me. "Thank you. Salamat. Thank you. American? Me? English."

Is she asking if I'm an American like her because I speak English?

"No. I'm only speaking English. How old are you?"

She slowly opened her fingers with difficulty just to show me her age.

"Seven? Really?"

She nodded. "Two."

"Grade two?" I asked and she nodded again. I smiled. "Are you hurt?"

"Huh?" She looked clueless.

My smile grew wider. She looks okay though. I'm glad.

I took the red ribbon, "Thank you, little girl, some other day I will go back here to check if they're still bullying you. Don't let them do that, okay? They're bad."

Her brows furrowed. "English ka? English ako."

"I'm not English, I'm Nirca. Your name is Zcimin, not English."

We couldn't even understand each other before.

But we're trying to understand each other now.

I was confused before.

But that's when I started to feel different, I feel like I'm not comfortable with my own gender and acting like it. I like being masculine, but there's a side of me that loves my feminine side too. 

So I embraced it both.

She embraced it both.

She really thought I would just forget her that easily? No. I will never forget her. Not just her face, but her aura and soul. That's impossible to forget because it's already written in my mind, and in my heart. I immediately recognized her the first time I saw her again after years.

"Why the hell are you looking at someone else while kissing me?" the girl angrily slapped me but I pulled her again to kiss so she couldn't see the girl that I'm looking at. "Nirca . . ."

She's currently laughing. I feel like every piece of myself felt oddly happy just by watching her laugh.

Let me guess, she's straight?

She's laughing with her boy best friend and four other sisters. They looked alike. There's just small differences but even in a distance I can tell which of them is that girl. 

It was a celebration of me and my friends finally entering college.

"Cheers!" 

I don't really drink a lot, this is the first time I will drink to my limits. Armenia and Lynelle are not here. I wonder where they are now? 

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket so I answered the call without knowing who this was.

"Nirca? Oh my! Mommy! Nirca answered my call after two years!" I heard someone's voice from the background.

My brows furrowed. "Sorry? Who's this?" I then looked at the name, it's unknown. "Do I know you? Why are you calling me?"

I caught the attention of Renice and Jarell who's currently drinking beside me. My friends got curious about who I'm talking to. We're complete here, even their boys are here with us. David, Darell and Brelenn are here, too. But there's no Lynelle and Armenia. 

"Do you remember me? My name is Winter! We slept together once on your house---" 

I immediately ended the call. I knew it. It was just another crazy girl who wanted me. I already told them that I will never commit and do it again to the same person. I'm just an ordinary girl who only likes to fuck and they like that? Jeez. Unbelievable creatures.

I threw the phone on the black sofa and drank again. 

"Jarell, let's go home, you're drunk . . ." Brelenn tries to stand up Jarell but she keeps pushing him away. "Man, malalagot ako sa mga magulang mo. I told them I'll always look after you, but then this . . ." problemado niyang tiningnan ang kaibigan.

"Tim . . ." Jarell called him. "Hindi ba't marami kang fans? Parehas kayo ni Nirca."

"Iuwi mo na 'yan, tol, lumalakas na amats niyan." Erin laughed and drank again. "Pumunta lang 'yan dito dahil nag-away na naman sila ng boyfriend niya."

"Naloko 'ka mo," si Renice. "Naloko rin ako eh. Same."

"Me too." It was Erin.

"Me three." Laurel.

"Me four." Kahel couldn't even look properly at Darell.

We all got silent. I broke it.

"Guys, I already told you. Don't take anything serious. Your so-called love doesn't exist. It's either lust, attraction or attachment." I said seriously. "I recommend you not to take it seriously. I mean, we're still young and more than half of the people in this world are shitty people. Work on yourself, it'll come when it's ready."

Even if I'm a promiscuous person like this, I will never cheat on someone I'm committed to. Since I know I can't do that now, I don't commit.

"Lakas ng hugot ah, Nirca? May pinagkukunan ka na?" David smirked.

"Fuck off, dude," I grinned and drank again. I circled the shot glass on my hands.

I never got drunk. Ever. I was always the girl who took my friends home. I was just left with Brelenn, Darell, David, Laurel and Kahel. They're pretty good drinkers.

"Sana all may hinahatid," madamdaming wika ni David nang inalalayan ni Brelenn si Jarell. "Pang last niyo na 'yan."

Brelenn smirked and raised his middle finger to him. "Iniwan ka lang eh."

"Tingnan mo, balang araw iiwan ka niyan, Jarell. Kung ako sa inyo maghiwalay na kayo ngayon para hindi masakit." 

"Lul, inggit." Jarell said, we all laughed.

Darell tried to take Kahel home but she almost punched him so he gave up, he just followed her as she went out. 

"Bye, pre! Good luck sa accountancy!" Kahel said goodbye.

Accountancy? Eh pinilit nga lang ako ng ina ko roon. I don't like accountancy but I'm getting pretty good grades there. But I want to shift to architecture someday.

"Thanks. Good luck, future CPAs!" 

Darell smiled and waved before they went out.

David's smile disappeared when everyone went out but us.

"Man, I wonder what really happened between you and Lynelle. She didn't even come here." tinapik ko ang balikat niya. "What did you do this time?"

He glared at me. "Bakit ako? Ako nga 'yung iniwan eh." he drank again.

"Fuck, bro, you already drank quite a lot. Huwag mong sirain ang atay mo. Pag may sira ka sa katawan mo talagang hindi ka babalikan no'n." 

In the end, I was alone in my own party again.

I sighed. 

Muntik na akong mahulog dahil sa pagkahilo. Huh? I've never felt this before. This is not possible. Am I getting drunk? No way! I'm a good drinker. This is not happening!

I sat on the ground and touched my aching head. "Fuck." 

Kailangan ko nang umuwi, bago pa 'to lumala.

My phone vibrated again. I got a text.

Unknown:

Hi, this is Winter. I know where you are right now.

Can we meet, please? I want to see you. Just this once.

I massaged my temples and sighed heavily. This is my fault. My fucking fault. Now, there's another obsessive stalker following me everywhere.

Me:

I'm nkt available npw. Maybr toborrow.

Unknown:

Are you drunk? I'll take you home.

Me:

No. I can tske mydelf hpme.

I found my car. As soon as I entered, she called me again. I annoyedly spanked the steering wheel. I started the engine. I can feel my head spinning around, I really should get going before my mom finds out I'm not in my house.

My phone rang again. When I opened it to see who called me, it was Winter again.

You missed a call from unknown.

You missed a call from unknown.

You missed a call from unknown.

I scrolled through my phone logs, fuck. She calls me everyday huh? Should I report her to the police? She's insane!

I started the engine and answered her call.

"What the hell do you want from me?" Iritadong tanong ko sa kanya.

"I want to meet you. Nirca, please. I want to see you again. I miss you so much. We'll talk for a few minutes then we're done. Please?" her voice on the other line pleased. "I miss you, Nirca, I miss your touch---"

"Do you promise to leave me alone after this?"

"Yes."

Mariin akong napapikit.

I sent her an address. There's no houses there, just trees in the cold dark night. I don't want anyone to see us, it might ruin my public image if they get the wrong idea.

Unknown:

I'm near, Nirca! I'm so excited to see you.

Unknown is calling . . .

But before I could even answer, a blinding light made my mind blank. I drifted just so I could avoid the car, but it's already ruined! I'm sure it'll hit my car!

"F-Fuck, fuck!" sinubukan kong tanggalin ang seatbelt ko nang matanaw ko ang isang babae. Hindi ko makita ang mukha niya dahil natatakpan iyon ng dugo dahil sa basag-basag na salamin.

Dali-dali akong bumaba ng sasakyan para tulungan 'yung babae. I saw how the liquid gas is slowly dripping! Fuck, I might die in this state!

I tried my best to get her out of that car. I couldn't even walk properly because when I drifted the car, that girl's car hit my car's window making them shatter into pieces. 

May bubog pang malaki na nakatusok sa paa ko. Nararamdaman ko rin ang pagtulo ng dugo sa noo ko.

"H-Help . . ." I feel like my voice disappeared. I tried to scream, but there's no voice coming out! "Help! Help! Help please!" but it's not loud, my normal voice is louder than this.

My tears fell. I'm so scared.

I tried to find my phone, but it's already shattered inside my car. It's in front of me before, when I was driving. That's why it got shattered easily.

"M-ma'am? Ma'am, ayos lang po ba kayo?" I tried to wake her up, I couldn't even see where her eyes were. Her bangs were covered with dried and fresh blood. She's bleeding a lot! "Please! Help! Please!" I tried my best to scream.

Napunta ang tingin ko sa tumutulong likido sa sasakyan. Napuno ng takot ang buong katawan ko. Ginawa ko ang makakaya ko para mailayo siya roon pero wala nang oras. Kung hindi ako aalis dito ngayon ay mamamatay rin ako. Kung bubuhatin ko ito at tutulungan ay mauubusan ako ng oras. Kailangan kong mamili. 

Ihiniga ko siya sa tabing kalsada at pinakinggan ang kanyang paghinga. She's not breathing!

I was sobbing while trying to hear her breathing. Why is she not breathing anymore? This can't be! She has to survive!

I tried to exit that place with her but then I saw how my car exploded. Nakita ko ang kaunting apoy na malapit nang madikit sa gas ng sasakyan kaya nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I cried and ran away.

"Nirca? Nirca!" 

Napabalikwas ako sa aking higaan. Ang nag-aalalang mukha ni mommy ang bumungad sa akin. I immediately hugged her and cried. I just got discharged from the Hospital a week ago but my nightmares won't go away. I still have the scars from that night making me remember every day of how selfish I am.

"M-Mommy . . . I'm so scared, I'm so scared!" I cried, my breath hitched. 

I never managed to sleep again after that time. Until that girl came back to my life.

I usually don't take girls home, but she made me do that. I want to annoy her so she will ran away from this house. But she didn't! That bitch!

"U-Uhh . . . I'm sorry, I don't drink!" I heard her talking to Beverly.

I just came out from the comfort room, there's a lot of girls making out there so I chose to exit.

"Really? I thought you're sad about your ex-girlfriend?"

Ex-girlfriend? I thought she's straight?

"O-Okay." Syne drank the liquor on the shot glass. I saw how her facial expression changed from being nervous to almost throwing up. I want to burst out laughing.

I sat on the black chair to listen to their conversation. But then I notice Beverly making her drink a lot of glass on purpose.

"Beverly." I gritted my teeth and glared at her. She's facing me so she would be the one to see me first before Mnemosyne. "What are you doing?"

That night, I finally slept again.

Not just because I'm hugging someone, it's because I feel at ease with her presence.

I even remember enlisting myself in her class so I could see her every time. I always do this, but she only found out after we lived together! Before I didn't have the guts to sit beside her, she was always alone in the backseat. But now, I could sit bravely there.

When you left, Mnemosyne, I feel like you took an important piece of me that made me feel empty even though I have everything in my hands. When you're not here by my side, I close my eyes just so I could see you and sleep every night. Then remember every detail of the memories we shared together.

"Mom, I'm here," I held my sick mom's hand while she's sleeping. I came back home after finding out that she's sick right after Mnemosyne and I broke up.

I tried investigating about Auntie Claire's accident and ended up finding traces of my accident lot of weeks ago.

I'm her. I'm the reason why her mom died, right? I deserve this. I deserve to be left like this. I don't deserve a happy ending like my friends' love life.

There are times I wake up with tears in my eyes and realize my smile is wide, because sleeping is the only way I can see you. Before I always wanted to sleep with you by my side so I could rest, but when you left me, I only slept because I miss you so much and that's the only way I can see your enchanting, breath-taking, heart-warming beauty visually.

Bakit mo naman ako iniwan agad? Hindi manlang ako nakapagpaliwanag ng side ko sa 'yo. Mahirap ba akong ipaglaban? Ako kasi, kahit na gumuho ang buong mundo ko para sa 'yo, gagawin ko. Para lang patunayan sa 'yo na ipaglalaban kita.

All these years, I survived because of you. I survive to achieve your dreams you told me years ago. I'm not even sure if you still want it till now, but that's the only thing that wakes me up each day and start another tomorrow. 

I still see your reflections in the eyes of the children whenever I give them food, I can hear your voice whenever they say "thank you," to me. I can hear your laugh whenever they play. They make me happy, you make me happy.

Thanks to you, I found my happiness. Thanks to you, I know myself better.

You're so cruel, tangi. When you see me hurting, you will just look at me and say sorry and it's all fine. But when I see you hurting, I feel like you're killing me a million times just by drops of your tears.

You're my plan. You're always included in it. Every prayer, every kiss of tomorrow in my eyes, I was always hoping you'd come back to me. How can I function, tangi? You're an important part of me. I wouldn't work out if there's no you. How could I accept that I'm the reason why your tears are on heat because of me?

Before, I used to wonder why, why you seem so important. What's with you that no one other than you has? Now that thirteen years have gone, I've finally realized why. It's not just lust or attraction. Not just attachment or infatuation. Not just a simple love. It was burning, heart wrenching, soul wrecking love. Every night we spent together feels like healing my shattered heart from losing her before. She was a part of me that my soul seeks for, and she's finally here.

Her tears fell with a wide smile on her lips. Full happiness and admiration in her eyes while looking at me, it was pure and full of love. "Yes, father,"

"Do you, Nirca Elaine Harmino, take Mnemosyne Zcimin Crosette to be your wedded wife, to cherish in love and in friendship, in strength and in weakness, in success and in disappointment, to love her faithfully, today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you shall live?" 

"Yes, father,"

I take you, Mnemosyne Zcimin Crosette, to be my wedded wife. Not just a lifetime partner, but my lifetime best friend and family. Loving you would never feel like a sin, because our love waits, cherishes, grows . . . we didn't harm anyone and never will. We deserve this. 

With our little prince, I will love you with all my perfect imperfections. All, every part of you. 

Let's look after each other.

Tangi, please stay with me longer this time. Because after all these years of waiting for you, it's all worth it. 

If the plan doesn't work, change the plan. Not the goal. There are many plans to earn you again but it will never change. Because after the race of life, you will always be my goal. Not just the end of a road. Our love and making our holy promises come true starts here.

"Hi, mommy and mama! Let's go to school together! I heard Auntie Armenia is coming back from the US so we have to visit her in the school where she works!" Rohan, our son, held my hand on his right, while Inoue held Mnemosyne's hand on the left. "After that, let's go to the orphanage again, I want another sibling! Five!"

Their little feet made a tiny jump. Making me smile wider.

"Thank you mommy, mama," Inoue hugged me and Mnemosyne before we finally continued walking.

The sunlight touched our eyes full of happiness and contentment. As we left our home, I looked at my wife, she's giving me the same look. And it only has one meaning.

We made it. We made it here. We made it together.

You wrecked me, my heart, my life, my soul, Mnemosyne. But I will never complain. Because even if you shatter me a million times, it's fine. As long as it's you, tangi. My only heartwrecker. My first and last heartbreak, my first and last love. Take care of my heart, it's yours too.

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LES TENDRES #5 [SERIES]

Harmino (Wrecking Miss Promiscuous)

No more pages to turn, the end.

See you on LES TENDRES #6: Lewis (Shattering Insecurities) Karcel & Armenia's story.

LES TENDRES SERIES

#1 Arcajante: I Own That Billionaire ✓

#2 Raedwald: Dominant Passion ✓

#3 Tamizen: If You Would Stay ✓

#4 Fajarez: Him And His Superficial Love ✓

#5 Harmino: Wrecking Miss Promiscuous ✓

#6 Lewis: Shattering Insecurities