Chapter 17 Ball

Your brows furrowed as you held his hands that is cupping your face. You slowly pull it down as you pull away from him. You eyes flutter open though looking sleepy with what you felt from his kiss. You saw him inhale as he slowly open his eyes too.

"I'm sorry I called you Kara last night." He said.

You were letting go of his hand when he held yours tightly, "You remember?" You asked him.

"Yes. I'm sorry I kissed you last night... no, I'm not sorry that I kissed you last night, but I'm sorry I called you by her name." He shook his head like he's confused at what he's saying and he doesn't know how he'll explain it.

You shook your head as you try hard to let your hand go from his grip. "No, you're just confused." You said.

He shook his head like he was so sure of his answer even though you weren't really asking, "You're just confused! You hear me, Taehyung? You're just confused." You said.

"No, you just want to deny everything too. I've been asking myself this for a long time and now that I'm sure, you're trying to run away from me." He said.

Your brows furrowed. No, you have to fight what you're feeling. You can't possibly feel something for your sister's boyfriend. That's forbidden!

"And what do you know about what I feel? Why would I deny something that I'm not even feeling?" You asked him, pointing at his chest.

"Then why do you look scared? What are you so afraid of?" He said.

Maybe he's right. Maybe your eyes gave you away. Maybe that's what he found in your eyes. You want to escape. You want to get away from him as this fear circle around your chest.

"I'm afraid that you only see me as my sister! I am not Kara, Taehyung. Please leave me alone." You said as you walk away from him.

You were rolling your eyes in attempt of stopping your eyes on producing tears that's threatening to fall. You stomp your feet as you walk up the stairs and in your flat. He doesn't dare to stop you from walking away.

Your throat hurts as you lean back at the door. You said it, you told him one of the reasons why you're so afraid of this. But the other reason will remain unknown for him because you will never tell him. You will never tell him that you're afraid because you also feel something. That you're so afraid you'll stop denying this too.

You realized that the reason behind your nervous feeling around him, the cold hand holding your stomach everytime you see him, the sweat that comes everytime he's around and the thumping of your heart was because you feel attracted to him. You find him attractive at first sight that even his stares made you feel like a real lady.

And his kiss was like a magic kiss that awakened you to the truth. You were conscious of what you feel now. And you don't want it, if only you could turn back time and stop him from kissing you. Maybe then you won't feel this.

Everything was way too fast, last night, his kisses took you under the water, drowning you and now that you just got out, he drowned you again, not even letting you take a breath.

Your tears poured that night, and you could only hope that your pillows and these four walls were the only ones that heard it and not the boy next door. You woke up the next day by an engine roaring then it speed away.

Seems like Kim Taehyung had to go somewhere today. That means you don't have to worry if you'll bump with him outside your flat. You opened your curtains to see if he really did leave and when you saw no car or a bike parked outside the flats, you opened the door only to see a bottle of milk and a bouquet of white roses at your doorstep.

You closed your eyes. There's that thought again, where you wanted to fall for him, to believe him but the fear that he's only doing this because you look like Kara is knocking at the door. For the first time, you wish you didn't have the same face as Kara's.

Then you'd know the truth and you would't be scared by now.

Your name was even more louder now than before the issue happened. It's not because another issue about you was made but it was because everyone assumed that you and Taehyung really are dating. Since what he did at the cafeteria looked like he's protecting you. And maybe it was partially Nayeon's doing for telling your classmates about that.

But it's not only that, some were debating on who will be Taehyung's date on an upcoming ball that you were clueless about. Your heart jumps when you hear people say that you'll be his date. The idea itself just made your heart jump.

"Margo acts like the issue about you and your sister never happened. She's now pursuing Taehyung again even after he showed everyone that he's interested in you." Nayeon said as she put some foundation on her face.

There's his name again. Even when you try to avoid him and everything that's connected to him, it seems like his name just follows you everywhere. Nayeon closed her foundation and glance at you.

"Taehyung likes you, doesn't he? He's never shown interest in anyone like that before. If it can be done, he'd avoid every girl in this campus but wow, you just proved that Taehyung is just like any other guy that can fall in love with a woman." Nayeon said, her eyes shining as she look at you.

"Stop it, he's Kara's boyfriend." You said, trying to furrow your brows.

You didn't want Nayeon to convince you more in this. To make you believe in sweet words and the things that they observe. You want to be rational and get this off your mind.

"Your sister is dead, Y/n. And Taehyung is single, what's wrong with that?" She tilted her head. "You should be more wary of Margo because she's alive and kicking. I just hate the fact that people are still expecting for them to be dates on this ball for the members of the high society."

Aside from the fact that Margo is acting like everything that involves your issue didn't happen, everyone sees her all clean again, like she's up for being Taehyung's date still even with her last encounter with him. You even saw her flashing a smile at Taehyung when he pass by you that's walking back from the library.

You saw Margo standing not far in front of you with her friends. She waved her fingers at him when she saw him walking, you bit your lip as you stood there with Nayeon. You'll stop here and go when he already passed by because you didn't want any interactions with him as of now while your mind is still spinning.

But he acted like he didn't saw Margo in front of him, instead his eyes found yours. His gaze was heavy with his long lashes adding more expression to it. You stopped breathing with how he gaze at you. You felt Nayeon's grip on your arm as she try hard to suppress her squeal.

Taehyung stops in front of you and you hug the book you borrowed from the library. You look up at him, you felt your heart racing again as you stare back at his eyes. You close your eyes when you realize that you were getting lost in his eyes.

"I'll drop you off to your work later after we eat dinner. Can you wait beside my bike after school?" He asked abruptly that you couldn't find any words to say.

You blink fast, you saw Margo looking at the both of you with face filled with anger. Her cheeks were flushed as her brows furrowed.

"It's fine, you don't have to do this." You said as you avoid his eyes.

You saw Margo run her fingers through her hair before she walk towards Taehyung, she smiled and touched his arm. Taehyung looked at her with furrowed brows.

"Hey, Tae. The ball's near, do you already have a date in mind?" She asked, batting her perfectly coated eyelashes.

Taehyung shrug her hand off his arm, her smile fades. "Would you like to spend it with me?" She asked.

Your face felt hot, she asked him in front of you. She asked Taehyung to be her date at the ball. It was supposedly a private conversation between them but you're there standing stupidly all ears. You decided it wasn't for you to hear so you pulled Nayeon away from them.

"Oh my god, I can't believe she asked him to be her date! She'd probably change the whole story if Taehyung agrees to her and tell everyone that it was Taehyung who asked her out!" Nayeon whispered beside you as you walk not too far from them.

"She's such a witch!" She hissed.

You shook your head, "It doesn't matter." You said even though your chest feels so heavy while thinking of Taehyung taking Margo as his date to the ball.

"I'd rather not spend it with you, Margo." You heard him say.

You saw Nayeon turn to you, her eyes widening. A smile grew on her face as she slap your arm. You shook your head at her as you continue to walk away because this is the only thing you can do right now. To walk away and not listen to your feelings. To walk away and not let him see how what he said made you take a deep breath and smile.

This is the only thing you can do before you give in to him. And as much as possible, you'd walk away a thousand miles from him just so he could not get to you.

When dismissal came, you didn't do what Taehyung said. Instead, you went to the charnel house and visited your sister. Its been ages since you last visited her and now that you did, everything came rushing into you. The guilt and confusion that's been attacking you these past few days.

You stared at her smiling picture as you let your tears fall down your cheeks, "Sometimes I wish I never found comfort in him. Sometimes I wish I never knew that you two were together. Sometimes I wish I never got closer to him."

"But I never wish for you two to never met. Even with this feeling, even with all the things that's going through my head, I know I can never replace you. And I hate the fact that he likes me too!"

"I hate it so much because it makes me hate myself more. It disgust me on how much time I spent trying to imagine us together. I hate how my head would wonder about what ifs. I'm sorry Kara and I'm sorry because I think I have feelings for your boyfriend."

You wipe away your tears as you stare at her picture again. Your head feels like spinning as you look at her smiling face, "There are strings tied to us, keeping us from being together and I'm afraid to say that string is you, Kara."

"I only wish for you to be here right now so I dont have to sin and love Kim Taehyung." You said because you knew at some point, you'll reach it.

You felt lighter than before now that you said what has been bothering you lately. But what's next? Do you keep on avoiding him? Can you really avoid him when every turn you take all you see is him?

It may be a dead end for you but are you ready to face it?

You were ready to leave when you came face to face with him. You weren't ready to face him. No, not yet. But he's already there standing at the door frame, his gaze were sharp.

"You didn't wait." He said.

You avoided his eyes, "I don't want to be with you." You said but you were the one to hurt with your words.

You flinch when you felt his hand on the back of your head the moment he got closer to you. He lead your head closer to his and kissing you on the lips. Your eyes closed shut as you feel his hot lips on yours. His kisses were deep, like your mouth is an ocean and he's a diver ready to explore it until he lean back.

"Your words are every contradicting to your lips, Y/n. Very because they say that they want me. You kissed me back for a second." He said like a whisper when you opened your eyes.

You look down as you bit your lips. You were unconscious of that. Now, how can you deny everything to him?

"You like me. Date me, Y/n." He said, putting his thumb on your bottom lip as he try to catch your eyes.

His words were overwhelming. Taehyung likes to drown you everytime he'd get a chance, with his words and actions. He'd drown you over and over again until you can't recover anymore.

"We... we can't be together, Taehyung. I can't be with you." You said finally looking at his eyes.

"Uhuh? Give me reasons why we can't. We both like each other so why can't we?" He said, rubbing your lip softly.

You shook your head before you step away from him. He looks at you like he wanted to reach you but he can't. He can't because you didn't want him to do so.

You step out of the charnel house and you saw his bike parked near you. You walk to the opposite direction where he parked his bike when he took your wrist.

He pulled you back. "If we can't date now then can you come with me to the ball?" He asked, his eyes were seemed to be at lost for a moment. Like he didn't want this but he can only settle with this.

You tilted your head, you remember Margo asking him to that ball earlier but now, he's here asking that same question to you.

"I'll be away for a couple of weeks. You can think about it until the ball. You can stood me up or you can show up but that only means that you'll date me exclusively." He said, you saw his adam's apple moved up and down.

Your brows furrowed at what he said. Something about it caught your attention.

"You're giving me a choice to stood you up?" You said slowly.

He nodded, "I'll let you have a choice. Because what I want involves the two of us, not just me."