CHAPTER 34: Haise’s pain 2

Haize

"Y-you're my pair," iyon ang lumabas na mga salita mula sa aking mga labi.

Nilingon ako ng omega. Anger plastered in his blue eyes.

"I don't want to be your mate! You, royals killed my family! I hate your kind! I hate everything about you! I curse you! I hope that it wasn't you who was paired with me. I regretted having a mate like you. I hate you! You royals are all the same!" umiiyak na sabi niya habang nakayakap sa patay ng katawan ng isang lalaki na maaaring ang kanyang mama.

"C-come with me. I-I'll treat you," sabi ko sa kanya na hindi iniintindi ang mga sinabi niya. Agad ko siya nilapitan upang ilayo siya sa mga patay na katawan ng pamilya niya. He is the only one that matters to me now. Kailangan ko siyang ilayo rito at magamot ang kanyang paa.

"Stay away!" galit niya sabay tulak sa akin. "I'd rather die here than to be with someone who killed the people that I loved the most," sabi niya.

"Come wit-" hindi ko na naituloy ang sasabihin ko noong makita ko ang isang papalapit na bala ng bazuka kung saan naroon ang aking mate.

Para akong ipinako sa nakita. Hindi man direktang siya ang tinamaan ngunit nakita kong tumilapon siya at nahampas ang katawan niya sa isang puno kasunod ng pagkatusok ng katawan nito sa nakausling ugat ng punong napaghampasan sa kanya.

"No!" sigaw ko at nagmamadaling tumayo at nilapitan siya. "Please, stay with me, my love," paulit-ulit kong sabi pagkatapos kong alisin ang kanyang katawan sa nakausling ugat. "Stay with me, please," sabi ko pa pagkatapos kong tanggalin ang aking damit at itinakip sa butas na nasa kanyang dibdib at sinusubukan kong pigilan ang pag-agos ng dugo sa mula roon.

"I.. I h-ha-te y-yo-u," pabulong na sabi niya pagkatapos umagos ang dugo sa kanyang bibig at kasabay nito ay paghugot ng kanyang huling hininga and then he stopped breathing.

Napasigaw ako sa tindi ng sakit na aking naramdaman sa mga oras na iyon. The pain is too much for me to take. I felt like half of my soul was taken away from me and it was so painful that I could even breathe. Umiiyak ako habang yakap-yakap ang patay ng katawan ng omegang inilaan para sa akin. I kissed his lips. I tried to ease the pain by doing it. The tingles that are supposed to be felt by both of us when kissing for the first time are so faint. It was so faint to almost none at all.

Why! Why! Why!

My mate died in my arms. I couldn't even save him. I couldn't even ask his name. My happiness started and ended at the same moment.

Nakita ko ang sheel ng bala ng sumabog. Nakita ko ang pangalan ni Marius doon. He killed my mate!

And then I passed out. When I woke up, I felt so empty. As if some part of me is missing. Kasabay ng aking pag-gising ay ang pagsalakay ng sakit na hindi ko maipaliwanag. My head, heart and my body are aching. Napasigaw ako sa sakit, kalungkutan at galit. Halo-halo ang aking nararamdaman and I didn't even bother to see where I was.

"The pain is unbearable, isn't it?" tanong ng isang lalaki na nakaupo lamang sa isang sulok.

I didn't bother to look at who he was. Pakiramdam ko ay masakit na masakit ang aking katawan at hindi ko kayang lumingon.

"I understand you," sabi pa nito. "I've been into what you are feeling right now. My mate died in my arms too," sabi pa niya. "All because of the royal's doings."

That guy's name was Achilles. He was once a royal family member too. And when his fated mate died, he rebelled against the monarchy family regardless of the country they ruled. He's the one who taught me how to heal myself and the severed bond between me and my mate. The more I listen to the alphas who are members of Haze, it fuels the fire inside of me. I stayed there for a month observing the Group's goal, to free every country from the monarchy. Achi let me go and told me if I want to come back, I am always welcome.

I started to change. The part of me that used to be friendly, optimistic, and the ideal "son" was gone. I'm still hurting inside though I can manage it now somehow. All I wanted was to be alone and think about the possibility that my mate was still alive. He could hate me, curse me, reject me all he wants but I'll still chase him. I can even leave the royal family or throw the prince title as long as I can be with him. All of that makes me smile but when the mate's dead face comes into my mind, lahat niyon ay biglang mawawala at mapapalitan ng walang hanggang sakit. Iiyak na lang ako. Madalas sa aking kwarto.

I can't even stand Marius' face or how he boasts about his newly found mate. I wanted to kill that one too para malaman ni Marius kung gaano kasakit ang ginawa niya sa akin. But I knew hindi iyon sinasadya ni Marius. I know what kind of person he is. Maybe he accidentally fired that damn bazooka towards mate's direction. But still, it was because of him that he died.

"Son, are you okay?" tanong sa akin ni Mama noong napasukan niya akong nakatingin sa kawalan habang nakaupo sa bintana ng aking silid.

"I'm fine, Ma," sagot ko sa kanya without paying him attention.

Bumunontong-hininga si Mama.

"I know when something is troubling my baby. You've been distant since after you were abducted," sagot niya. "What's wrong? You can tell me son," sabi pa niya.

Bumuntong-hininga ako. If there's one person that still matters to me, that person is my Mom. He is always there for me.

"I'm passing the crown to the Hanze, Ma," sabi ko sa kanya.

Na-surprised si Mama sa sinabi ko.

"Why? Don't you want to be a king?" tanong niya.

"Not anymore," sagot ko bago tumingin sa kanya at saka ibinalik na naman ang aking paningin sa labas ng binata.

"But that is your birthright, Haize. You're the first born," sabi pa niya.

"Just please tell dad that I'm not going to be his successor," sagot ko sa kanya.

Naramdaman ko na lang na hinawakan ni Mama ang aking magkabilang pisngi at pinahatap niya ang aking mukha sa kanyang mukha.

"Your eyes. Why can't I see any glow at them anymore? Tell me son. Hindi ka basta-basta magkakaganito kung walang nangyari sa iyo," sabi pa ni mama.

"I wasn't abducted," sabi ko sa kanya. "The people who rescued me found me and taught me how to heal myself," sabi ko pa.

"What do you mean you were not abducted? You were missing for one whole month, son. What do you expect us to think?" tanong niya.

"I stayed at their place because I wanted to," tipid kong sagot. "Until I decided to come home because I thought I could move on but still it hurts a lot."

"Hurt a lot? Why are you hurting? What really happens to you on that island?" naguguluhang tanong ni Mama.

So I started to tell him everything.

"Jesus Christ!" hindi mapigilang masabi ni Mama noong nalaman niyang namatay ang aking mate sa aking mga braso.

"He died hating me," sabi ko pa sa kanya na buong pait na nakangiti. "If I was not born a royal and if dad wasn't greedy of expanding the kingdom's territory, maybe he and his whole family are still alive and maybe just maybe, he'll accept me," sabi ko na hindi na napigilan ang aking iyak.

Naramdaman ko na lang na niyakap ako ng mahigpit ni Mama.

"I'm sorry, son," umiiyak na sabi ni Mama sa akin. "I didn't know you were carrying something within you. I'm sorry for keeping a blind eye," sabi pa niya. "I understand why you don't want to be a king. Don't worry. I'll support you. I won't tell anyone about your reason son, including your dad. He might be my fated mate but you are my son. I carried you for nine months." sabi pa niya. "I might be clueless about what pain you have been through son but I promise to help you as I can."

"Thank you, mom," nakangiti na na sagot ko sa kanya.

At that time, Mom started to seek a fate expert. He wanted me to at least ease the pain I'm in, especially whenever I think about my dead mate. Even if it was hard to find one, mom didn't stop. Kasehodang mangibang bansa man siya ng hindi nalalaman ni Dad ay ginagawa niya.

"Are you cheating on me?" tanong ni Dad isang araw habang naghahanda si Mama ng kanyang mga gamit upang sana ay lumipad sa Persil kung saan ay nabalitaan niyang doon ay may nakatirang fate expert. Narinig kong nagtatalo sila noong napadaan ako sa kanilang silid.

"Why are you thinking that way?" sagot ni Mama sa kanya.

"Did you think that I wouldn't know? You've been travelling behind my back. Sino ang pinupuntahan mo? Kabit mo? Dalhin mo na rin ang bastardo mong anak!"

"Oh, I wish he was the one I'm with right now. And also he is my fated mate and not you. But no, I have to be with you because I am betrothed to you. Did I ever cheat on you huh? I didn't, right? I have some business to do in Persil," sagot nito sa kanya.

"You little!" galit na sabi ni Dad kasunod ng kalabog.

Binuksan ko ang pintuan at nakita kong nakahandusay sa sahig si Mama at duguan ang kanyang ulo.

"Mama!" umiiyak na sabi ko at dali-dali ko siyang pinuntahan. "Mama, mama!"

Itinakbo sa hospital si Mama. Dali-dali siyang inilagay sa operating room matapos ma-CT scan ang kanyang ulo. Nakita roon nagka-hemorrhage ang Mama. Mabilis kumalat ang dugo sa kanyang utak at kinakailangan na niyang ma-operahan as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry, your highness, but I cannot guarantee you if the Queen will be able to wake up," narinig kong sabi ng doctor.

"Please do everything you can, Doc," sagot ng Dad.

Dad said that Mama accidentally tripped and lost his balance kung kaya nahampas ang ulo niya sa pader. But I knew the truth, nag-away sila. It wasn't just the tripped thing. But dad might be the one who banged my mama's head on the wall.