Chapter 44

“I think that’s life for you. We just deal with the shit it throws our way,” Del said dryly, then let out an “unf” when Justin’s thumb pressed against a knot next to his shoulder blade.

Suddenly Del wanted to turn his head and kiss him back for real, but the kids were across the pretty open lower level and…just no.

“So I had this thought,” Justin said as he went back to digging his fingers into Del’s shoulders, obviously ready to change the subject.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Have you thought about doing YouTube or something like that? With this project of yours?”

Del let out a sound no child should ever hear. “Hmm, what do you mean?”

“Jesus, well now I know how you sound in bed.” Justin chuckled. “I mean doing instructional videos, vlogs, that sort of stuff? People make decent money out of it and it might help with the cookbook sales.”

At this point, based on what his kind-of agent had told him, he really needed something else to attach to his book. Maybe this was it?

“Thanks, babe. I’ll talk to my agent and see what he says. It might be worth the effort for sure.” He did turn his head now and looked at Justin. “I wouldn’t have thought that, you know I’m not that into the online stuff.”

Justin mouthed “online stuff” and snickered, then leaned forward and kissed him soundly on the lips.

There was a sudden, loud gasp from the doorway.

Harper.

Great. 13

“What are you doing?” Harper demanded, her eyes wide for a moment before her expression morphed into one of outrage as she stared between them. “What are you doing?”

“Harper,” Justin said, “I—”

“Stop it!” Harper yelled, and strode forward. She grabbed Justin by the wrist and wrenched him away from Del. “Don’t do that! Don’t kiss Del! Don’t touchhim!”

Justin could hardly hear over the sudden roar of blood in his skull.

“Harper,” Del said quietly, “I wanted Justin to kiss me. I was kissing him too.”

“No!” she yelled, her face fierce. “He’ll wreck it! He wrecks everything!”

Justin reached out for her, and she snatched her hand away.

Del shot him an apologetic look. “Harper, why will Justin wreck it?”

“Because I hate him!” Harper yelled and then dissolved into tears as Del gathered her into a hug. “Because he’ll yell at you and then you’ll hit each other and then he’ll make you go away!”

Justin swallowed, his throat aching. How many relationships had Harper seen that were modeled exactly along those lines? How many boyfriends had come in and out of their mom’s life in the same way?

Del closed his eyes briefly as he hugged Harper. “No, sweetheart. That’s not going to happen. Justin and I aren’t going to hit each other, and he’s not going to make me go away.”

Harper shook with sobs. “Neve had to go away because her moms are gay! And you are too, and Justin will make you go away!”

There was a tangled sort of logic in her reasoning, Justin thought. Boyfriends went away. Gay people went away. And if Del was both? That was probably a double whammy in Harper’s mind. And of course it was Del she was scared of losing. Of course she loved him more than she loved Justin. Del had never failed her.

“Justin’s not going to make me go away,” Del said, rubbing a hand down Harper’s spine. “I like Justin a lot, Harper, but even if I stopped liking him, I wouldn’t stop liking you or Wyatt or Scarlett, okay?”

Harper grumbled something Justin didn’t catch.

He turned and left the room, heading for the living room instead. Scarlett was sitting on a rug in front of the couch, smashing her toy cars together. Wyatt was sitting on the couch, a tub of carrot sticks in his lap as a cartoon played on the flatscreen TV. Justin sat down at the other end of the couch and put his head in his hands.

A moment later he felt a barely-there touch on his knee, and straightened up to find that Wyatt was poking him gently with his index finger.

“Hey, Wyatt,” he managed, forcing a smile he didn’t feel.

Wyatt held up a carrot stick questioningly.

“No, thanks,” Justin said. “But thank you for offering to share.”

Wyatt didn’t move away from him. He shifted closer instead and sat beside Justin while his cartoon played.

* * * *

“She hates me,” Justin said later, when the kids were asleep in Del’s spare room. They hadn’t discussed Justin and the kids staying over, not exactly, but Justin had found he just didn’t want to leave right now, and Del had somehow already known.