Emily reached her hand to touch his arm briefly. “Look, all I’m saying is, everyone is thriving. I don’t see anything bad about that.”
“He’s so young, Em. He’s so fucking young.”
“Yes he is, but no child in that family has been able to be a kid. Except maybe the ones Jody has, Justin’s aunt I mean. And those right there, in your car.” She nodded pointedly toward the vehicle in question. “He’s young but not na?ve. Justin doesn’t need a father figure, he needs a reliable adult, a partner to help him out, because if he’s alone, who knows how this will go? I’ve got faith in him, I do, and I know he’d manage somehow. But at what cost, Del?”
He knew what she was talking about, of course. He’d pondered different scenarios in his head. Justin would have to get a sitter for them, he might have to find another job. He wouldn’t have any time for himself, not until Harper was old enough to really be responsible for the little ones, and what kind of life would that be for Justin, and what about Harper?
Del shook his head. “I don’t know…How in the hell are we supposed to know if this is something that could work long term and not harm us or the kids if it falls apart?”
“By doing it? By going one day at a time, until you start to believe it’s good and right and makes you all happy?” She smiled at him. “That’s how I’ve been married for a decade. I took a chance on a guy I met really randomly and kept going on dates with him. My parents thought I was nuts, going out with a guy with a Background. You know, with a capital B. He’d been in juvie for some stuff and of course he wasn’t ‘good enough’ for me. Well, my parents can suck it. He’s never been anything but perfect for me.” She stopped talking for a bit and looked thoughtful. “You know how they say that sometimes you need to be on the outside to see clearly? In my opinion that’s all good and fine, but in my experience, more often than not, you really have to be on the inside.”
“Del? We go now?” Wyatt called from where he sat closest to the open door.
“Yeah, buddy,” he called back.
“He’s back to sentences?”
“Yeah, even some four or five word ones. And Scarlett has been trying out some words, too.”
“And Harper is calmer. And you look…happy. So does Justin, stressed out as he can be.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Del chuckled. “I’ll see you when I see you.”
“Hey, I know it’s sort of a conflict of interest, but here’s my card. It’s not like everyone in town doesn’t know each other and there’s conflict of interest out the wazoo anyway.”
He took the card and put it inside his wallet. “Thanks. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Uh-huh, drive safely.”
* * * *
That evening, after they’d had dinner and the kids were playing in the living room, Del retreated into the kitchen to go through a couple of recipes that were nagging at him.
Justin had had a talk with Harper about the day, but somehow Del couldn’t bring himself to have the talk about their relationship with Justin quite yet. Instead, he was pondering on herbs and spices, and which might be affordable enough for this recipe but still taste nice re-heated or even after being frozen first.
Justin came to where Del was sitting at the table, stepped behind him, and began to rub his shoulders.
Del groaned and let his head drop. Justin chuckled.
“Shouldn’t I be the one giving you the shoulder rub, Mr. I Lift Heavy Things All Day?” Del grunted out the words between a moan or two.
“Nah, I think you need a reward for what you did today at the school.”
“I’m not sure it was up to par, but it was what I could do at the moment, I guess,” Del admitted.
“No, it was good. Emily texted me about it a while ago. So, thanks.” Justin leaned in and pressed a kiss on his cheek.
“How do you feel about it all?”
Justin sighed audibly and for a second, his fingers tightened on Del’s shoulders almost painfully. “I mean, somehow the whole town knows I’m gay, right? It’s…it’s not ideal.”
Del could tell it was a much bigger deal than that. “Yeah. Well, they don’t know, they assume because they know I am and you hang out with me so much. But it’s not like ‘not knowing’ has ever slowed down rumors before.”
“Yeah. I just…My family. I don’t like the idea of them knowing, but I guess it’s not something I can avoid forever, so…” When he exhaled, it sounded a bit shaky, like he had trouble controlling his emotions.