Sting of uncertainties
(Ashley)
"What do you mean it didn't go as planned?" Judy fumes, gripping her teacup tighter. "How could you be so careless?"
I furrow my eyebrows, feeling the need to explain what happened. "I'm sure—," I trail off, my words coming out in a stutter. "I did slip the drug into his drink, I watch him empty his glass, I did, it's just all confu—,"
Elena's voice cuts me off sharply, her gaze as piercing as ever. "Excuses, that's what this is. You had just one job, and you screwed it the fuck up!" She spat, clearly as livid as Judy. "Now, how are we supposed to fix this?"
I hate to be this helpless, to be this putty in Judy's hands, not to mention Elena.
They're just incorrigible.
Looking at Judy, she's just being ridiculous about this, I didn't mean for any of this to happen and she can't just annoyingly sit there and push blames.
I discreetly eye her across the living room. She can pretend to be mad, but I know she needs me just as much.
She can't get rid of Bella from Dean's life without me. That I know for sure.
Judy may think she's in control but she's not. I'll show her.
Once I have Dean to myself. I will discard her, the both of them, I sure will.
I will call my own shots, and most importantly I will be me, no pretense!
But right now, I need to play it cool to get what I want. I'm ready to play a fool, just to get married to Dean.
Ready to do anything and everything, even if it means being Judy's puppet. I love Dean that much.
I turn to Judy, putting my game face on. "I'm sorry, I really am." I say, my voice filled with fake sympathy. "I promise. I won't let us down again," I say, watching their reaction closely.
Judy's face is deadpan, her eyes darting on me, her silence annoys the crap out of me but I don't show it.
Elena clears her throat, sitting up straighter. "This is not the time to be sorry, we barely have a lot of it in our hands, that bitch has Dean's kids, and that's a tough pill to swallow,"
That riled me up, it sure did. That bitch and undermining me at every turn.
Judy's voice cuts through my thoughts. "And she has refused to take the offer, she's playing a dangerous game," Judy spat, taking a sip from her cup.
I blink, what offer? I look at Elena and she has her eyebrows raised, she doesn't know either.
"What offer?" Elena asks, giving her a skeptical look.
"I offered her money, five hundred million dollars to give up the twins and leave again," she says with a flat voice.
Elena rolls her eyes. "And she rejected that?" She asks, her face set in a way that suggests she doesn't get it.
"Without a second thought," Judy replies.
Five hundred million dollars? I shift uncomfortably on my chair, that's a lot of money. Well, it has never been about the money for Bella, just something I know that Judy and Elena doesn't.
I keep that to myself, because if they know. Well, I'm not sure how it'll be.
I might end up not having Dean, because to Judy, it has always been about her big love for Dean and the need to protect him, it has always been her biggest drive in all of this.
I can't risk it.
"That bitch," I blurted out. "She probably wants more," I say, trying to shift their minds.
"Such an ingrate!" Elena mutters.
But Judy, she's smart, too calculated.
She just goes silent, as if she's in doubt, unsure. "I'm not sure about that but I really do not care. If Dean finds out about the twins, then we're done for, he'll question everything," she furrows her eyebrows at me and then to Elena. "Every damn thing,"
God, my heart ramps. My blood boiling with anger, it's not aimed at them right now, it's that bitch!
Why does she have to show up here, just to ruin my efforts over the years?
Judy's right.
She doesn't want Dean finding out, I don't want him to either, because as soon as he knows, he's going to confront her and if those kids are his, well, that complicates things.
Deep down, I know they're his. I don't need any damn DNA to prove that. They both know too.
I can't explain how I feel, I'm so angry, infuriated.
Because this changes everything, the lies, the deceit.
Just as Judy said, he'll question everything, he'll be forced to reevaluate everything.
And then what?
This is a big problem, Dean's big on kids, family.
He has always loved her, a fact I'd rather chew raw broccoli than accept, even without trying, she has his heart.
It's as if she has him spellbound or something, that should be the only logical reason while he'd still love a woman who he assumes cheated on him.
I've always wondered. Why is it so hard for Dean to move on? Why can't he see how much I love him?
What haven't I done for him to see me?
Do I need to inscribe his name on my forehead before he realizes my love for him?
Like I just don't get it.
And now that Bella has his kids. That'd ruin my chances with him. It's a big threat.
My blood runs cold, I clench and unclench my fist by my side.
Again, Bella is one step ahead of me.
After all set and done, she wants to prove that I still can't measure up to her.
She's been gone for almost four years and now she's back to torment me. She's pretty much getting in the way. I won't let her, never.
If she thinks that I'll let her weasel her way back into Dean's life with those little brats as excuse, then she has another thing coming.
I look at Judy and she seems lost in thoughts, unsure of what else to do, that's a first.
Judy always has everything figured out, never unsure of anything, but now that Dean's kids are involved, it'll force her hand.
But she offered her money to leave, that's something. It shows she's still on my side somehow.
But I'm not stupid, I can't hold on to that tiny bit of hope. I still have an ace up my sleeves, a back up plan, just incase Judy decides to betray me.
I'd rather kill whoever gets in the way than not have Dean.