What's done is done
(Bella)
I take a deep breath, steeling my mind before walking up to the bed, sitting just beside them. "Hey, there, sweethearts," I say softly, gently caressing Jas's cheeks. "I'll be making your favorite for dinner, come join Mommy in the kitchen," I try to coax them.
They both frown, refusing to talk to me.
I look between them. "Are you still mad at Mommy?" I ask them, making a sad face, just to get their attention.
Jasmine rolls her eyes, turning to face me but Javier remained silent.
I ruffle his hair gently. "Okay, I'm sorry for yelling," I let out, my tone soft, in a bid to get him to talk to me.
Finally, Javier turns, sitting up, he looks at me, his expression softens. "Why were you mean to mister stranger?" He asks, his eyes filled with curiosity.
Without missing a beat, Jasmine sits up too, crossing her tiny arms. "Is he a bad man?" She asks, her eyes filled with little wonder.
Javier frowns a little, switching to his defense mode. "No, he's not. He's kind, he saved me!" He countered, his voice gentle but firm.
Jasmine furrows her eyebrows at me, albeit with a confused frown. "If he isn't a bad man, why were you mean to him?" She asks again, like she just doesn't get it.
I look between them, this is not looking good at all, I'm in the spotlight and I have no idea what to say.
Quickly I scrambled for what to say in my head.
"I wasn't mean to him," I blurted out the only thing that could come to my mind.
"You were, mommy. You took me away, yelled at us and wouldn't let me talk to him," he opposed.
"He saved Javier and you didn't say thank you." Jasmine says it right out with a pout, just like that. It seems like she's gone from a toddler to a little girl overnight.
Javier nods, their eyes transfixed on me.
Damn it, my kids are growing up so fast.
They're way too smart.
I'm in a tight corner and there's nothing I'd say that'll justify how I acted.
So instead of arguing with these smart pookies of mine, I just blurted out. "Okay fine, I'll say thank you the next time I see him, happy now?" I give them a smile.
"Really?" Javier asked, wrapping his tiny hands around my neck, I don't miss the excitement in his voice.
I nod.
Jasmine outstretched her tiny finger. "Pinky promise?"
A smile creeps up my face as I watched her cute face. "Pinky promise," I reply, interlocking my finger with hers, my smile in place.
"I love you mommy," Javier declared with a wide grin.
My smile widens. "I love you more, sweety. The both of you," I reply, giving them a perk on their cheeks.
"Okay, mommy. Let's go make dinner," Jasmine rambled out, the both of them pulling my hand, willing me to stand up.
I guess that's it for now.
I take their hands as we head downstairs, I mirror their excitement, it tugs at my heart. But my mind is not at rest.
How do I handle this, Dean? Knowing that Javier and Jasmine are this fond of him?
The next day, just about thirty minutes after breakfast. Javier and Jasmine are in the living room watching their favorite cartoon while I'm seated at the dining table idly flipping through the pages of a document.
To be honest, I had a restless night. The thought of Dean finding out about his kids unnerves me.
I've tried to push those intrusive thoughts aside, trust me I have but somehow I just manage to drift right back into it.
The doorbell rings, cutting through my thoughts. It should be Derrick.
Quickly Anne comes right out to get the door and true to my guess, it was Derrick.
"Uncle Rick!" Javier and Jasmine squeals, running up for a hug.
He crouched to their level, scooping them up.
"How are my favorite munchkins doing?" He says, flashing them a warm smile.
"We're good," they chorused with a wide grin.
He brings them down gently, ruffling their hair respectively. "Alright. You both should watch on, while I go talk to mommy, okay?" He says, pointing to the television.
They nod, settling back into the couch.
Derrick shifts his gaze to me, walking up closer.
"Hey," he mutter, settling into the chair next to me, his eyes never leaving me.
"You know you really don't have to come," I tell him, holding his gaze. I just don't want to bother him, he's still handling the search on my behalf.
Derrick shrugs. "You should let people be there for you as much as you do for them."
"You're right. I'm sorry, there's just a lot going on, thanks for coming." I say earnestly. "What do I offer you?" I ask, turning to call out for Anne.
Derrick's hand reaches out for mine, stopping me right before I could. "I'm fine really." He says, watching my reaction closely. "But are you?"
I exhale deeply, relaxing into the chair. "If I'm being honest, I'm not entirely fine, I want to be, but it's bothering me, a lot more than I want to admit," I let the words out, unfiltered.
He glances at me,his expression softening as he catches the worry in my voice. He squeezes my hand gently, offering a tad bit comfort from his silent touch.
I quickly glance at the twins, who's eyes are on the TV, unaware of the situation at hand.
I turn my gaze back on Derrick and continue. "And it's as if the universe is against me, turns out Dean is the stranger Javier's so fond of,"
Derrick rolls his eyes, clearly taken aback by my revelation. "Wait, he is?"
I nod.
"That's—- so unexpected." He breathes out, his fond unsteady.
"See?" I mutter. I go on to recount everything that's happened lately. Finally I get to the worst part, the part that makes my stomach churn. Judy's offer.
"She did what?" Derrick is wide-eyed, his irritation shinning through his eyes as he takes in what I just said.
Trust me, I was just as irritated and even more. I knew Judy was a first hand bitch but she has really upgraded lately. She's just so unbelievable, nobody is that selfish. I just can't with her.
Derrick shakes his head. "My God, she's despicable," he spat, clearly livid.
"Tell me about it," I reply with a shrug.
He goes silent for a second, probably mulling over his next words.
He straightens up, his voice low but serious. "Look, we don't have to get worked up over this, neither should we push the blame to you coming back here, what's done is done." Derrick suggests thoughtfully.
I hold his gaze, taking in his words.
He continues. "We just need to think this through, and while at it we need clear heads, not panicked ones," he says calmly, his tone soothing. "I just need you to know that I'm here, by your side, every step of the way," he reassures me.
I take a deep breath, my resolve becoming more clear, more confident.
Derrick's right. All I have to do is just be straight with Dean. Thank him for his help with Javier, sure.
But I need to spell it out to him, hoping it sinks this time.
I don't want him creeping up on me, invading my space, he can't just show up when it's convenient for him.
I'm keeping my guards up.
I need him gone, and that's it!