Chapter 42 The Decision
Lana's POV
Everyone was home now, so the chaos began. I don't see myself with so many kids, if ever. I went inside the kitchen where both of my parents were.
"Hey," I said without feeling to actually greet.
"Are you okay?" my mother asked.
"I don't know," I shrugged.
"Are you able to eat?" my dad asked.
"No, I get sick," I just said, and they both looked at each other. "Fruit will be fine," I said, and I left the kitchen.
I went to the backyard where my siblings were playing and shouting at each other. Ugh.
They were playing with the ball, kicking it around, but then as I took my attention away from them and my breath was punched out of me, I hunched over, holding my belly.
"Lana, I'm sorry!" Weston called out. He kicked the ball against my belly. I took in a deep breath and I stood up straight with my hand still on my belly.
"Do not be rough with a ball when people are around," he said calmly before I walked inside the house.
Dinner was ready and I sat at the dinner table with my family. I had fruit salad as requested. It is the only thing that I can deep down. "Are you ready for Monday?" my dad asked me.
"Yes, dad," I said. I have to do this for him.
"Dad, we have a football game on Friday, are you coming to watch?" Weston asked.
"I will see my work schedule." he said.
Weston seemed down, he was always the one that was left out. I should be guilty about it too, because I didn't spend time with him. I had my own things going on as a teenager and I was just sketching. There was one time when I told my dad that I wasn't going to be part of the business and I cursed at him because he does it a lot. He tore up most of my sketches. I was hurting that day because it was my hard work. My sketches, something that I loved to do.
"Lana, we have spoken and we want you to go and see a doctor," my mother said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"No, I'm fine," I said.
"You are not well, Lana," she replied with concern. "Last time I checked, when I was pregnant, I couldn't keep anything down except the fruit."
"You slept with Arden, you were on the pill and sometimes those things are not effective. So to be sure, either get a pregnancy test or see a doctor," my dad said.
"I am not pregnant, I have my period," I lied and I continued to eat.
"We do not need anymore babies," Weston said as he put the fork of pasta in his mouth.
Everyone was talking and I just listened to everything that they were talking about. I excused myself once I was done eating and I went up to my bedroom. My mind decided to work overtime. Immediately, Daniel's words came back to me.
I was an easy f^ck, Arden didn't love me. Those words really pierced my heart. I know that it isn't true, but just being an over thinker makes it worse.
I went inside my en suite bathroom and I stood in front of the mirror. I opened the drawer and I took out the pills. My heart was racing through the brokenness. I took the pills out of the bag that it was in and I stared at them. This would end a life. Taking a deep breath, I took it out and I held one pill, just staring at it. My emotions started becoming stronger and I closed my eyes as I opened my mouth and I put the pill in my mouth, but I still kept it with my index finger and thumb.
Tears started to run down my cheeks and I took the pill out, placing it on the vanity cabinet and I sobbed. Shaking my head, no, "I can't do that, not to my baby," I tried to catch my breath.
I can't do this to my baby. I will not live with myself if I do anything to it. Single or not, I am keeping my baby.
"Lana!" I heard my mother call out to me frantically. I quickly placed the pills inside of the drawer, wiping the tears away, I went to see what my mother needed or what was going on.
"Mom?!" I called out.
"Hurry!" she called out and, I went to their bedroom.
My mother was on the ground as my father was lying and writhing in pain as he held his chest. I stood frozen in place. "Dad," I said.
"Lana, please watch your dad as I call the ambulance," she said as she stood up and hurried out of the bedroom.
I was crouched beside my dad as I looked at him, my heart was beating at a rapid pace. "Don't go anywhere," I said to him as I placed my hand on his that was on his chest.
Tears streamed down my face as he continued to writhe in pain. His eyes were closed now too. "I can't do this without you," I continued to say. "We need you. You have to teach me more about life and everything," I said, but I started to freak out.
My mother came back and I stood up from the ground as she wanted me to wait for the ambulance to arrive. Everything seemed to be slow and I could hear my own breathing as I now walked down the stairs. I have to stay strong even though I cannot be. I will not be suffocated. I have to be strong for my family. I hope that my dad will be okay. I can't lose him.
I stood in the lounge and then the ambulance came. I let them go up. It was a while and all of a sudden, they came down the stairs with my dad, and my mother was sobbing. Tears streamed down my face. I hope that nothing happens to him.