Not a single thing changed in his room; not even my table, which was still there but didn't appear to be in use because it was empty. I had shivers searching every crevice in his office. I felt like I was losing myself in such things. Let's just let it out, though.
"You may sit." Only his face was in the frame at the end of the wall where he was standing is what I've seen. I want to ask why Lethia's face wasn't there, but I feel like I'm interfering, so I choose to stay quiet. "Do you want something else? The board members are not here yet since the meeting was rescheduled for nine in the morning." I wanted to scold him, but I had no right, so I just smiled as if I were being kind.
"Ohh, then I'll be staying here for a while?" I asked him permission. I didn't have the guts to meet his eyes, and I looked everywhere to avoid his eyes. No matter how hard I try to be strong, I know in myself that I won't and I can't, so I'll be just like this.
"Probably. Don't you want to?" He asked me back. He seemed to feel that I was lost, but I shook my head. I need to be professional; what we had is all in the past. "Don't you want us to be together, Cbiara?"
"No!" I was quick to reply, "It's alright. I was just asking," I replied to his question, he might think that I still have feelings for him. I beam when our eyes meet, someone is still looking at him.
"Okay." He responds and focuses on his papers while I roll my eyes. Many memories suddenly poured into my mind that, no matter what I do, I can't forget. Damn, how pathetic I was.
He moved on while I was still here and waiting for him to love me, but not now. When I am with my kids, I seem to have forgotten everything. Sometimes I still think about the bitterness of yesterday, but it was in the past, and I need to move on. Moving on is a good thing to do. Because what I've read is right. Revenge doesn't make me happy; it's making me more miserable than ever.
"I heard you make cosmetics on your own in Chicago." I bet he heard it from my dad. I pouted and nodded. "You were a good and independent woman."
"You know me, Raven. I swiftly learn everything from start to end, so I know everything I do. And my dad is business-minded, so it's nothing new to me." I grinned. I tried to stare at him completely because I thought, why would I avoid him?
"Yeah, I really know you." By how he described it, it has a double meaning in my mind, but I tried to get rid of it and just beam.
We were silent for a while. I was looking at my watch and busy tapping my nails on the glass table. Until he broke the silence between us.
"How are you after your father's death?" A lump in my throat suddenly appeared in my throat. "Are you okay?" Oh gosh, why does he have to ask that now? Can we pretend we don't know each other and have him stop being concerned about me?
"Fine." I almost cracked my voice, but I still did everything to deliver it in the finest way. I don't want him to think that he still has an effect on me. I wanna be as strong as I can to show them all.
"I'm glad your dad got the justice he deserves, and to you, who did nothing but take care of your father, though I was unhappy knowing you lost your father, who should be with you now in life. You were alone," he emphasizes. I want to tell him that we have our children who are there for me, but I choose to go with the flow instead of making things complicated.
"Yeah, I used to do it, though. I don't need other people to live; my presence is enough, and that's what's most important to me," I replied. He nodded, so I just smiled at him, and his eyes returned to his laptop.
I held my bag tightly. How long can I hide all this? Until when do I act like everything will be fine and that everything is what I wish for? How long will I pretend?
"That's good to hear." I smile without showing my teeth, even though deep inside me it's the other way around. I shake my head and stand up so I can turn my thoughts to others. "Where are you going, Cbiara?" He stood up, and the look in his eyes was full of fear. I smiled at him awkwardly because what was he thinking?
"I'll just be here and go around. Do you have chocolate in your mini fridge? Can I have it? I'm nervous about the meeting later," I admitted. I heard his soft sigh, and his eyes returned to normal.
"It has; that's not lost. You can eat them." I thought he was going to say something because his lips parted, but I noticed he shook his head slightly, sat back, and didn't take a glimpse at me.
I blew out air and composed myself before opening the door of his mini fridge and taking my favorite chocolate. It was so full of chocolate that it was like heaven in my eyes. I smiled because he seemed to like the chocolate too.
I was eating it patiently and turned back to see what the man was doing, but just in time I saw him looking as if he were smiling, but it was like a hallucination because when I blinked my eyes, he returned to his normal state. Maybe I was just delusional. You never change, Cbiara, and I scolded myself in my mind.
I sat back on the sofa, and while I looked at my watch and watched the passage of time, my heart was beating fast. Gosh, I am used to being confident in meeting my clients and showing up at every meeting back in Chicago. So why do I like this now?
Because of the depth of my thoughts, I didn't realize that Raven was close to me and patted my back.
"Everything will be alright." He held out my hand to go to the meeting room because it was time.