Chapter 41 Built on Lies
Lara's pov
The one-hour I gave Damien to talk to Ethan was up. I watched Damien as he was bringing Ethan back to me. My son's hand was wrapped around his finger. They were both smiling but I could see the sadness in their eyes.
When they reached where I was sitting, Ethan focused on me and later looked up at Damien's eyes.
"Can I go home with you now, Daddy?"
My chest tightened.What do you say? Go home with who?who? Does this baby know what is saying?
Damien crouched down so he could be on same level with Ethan. “Not today,my son. But I promise to see you again.
"When?"
"Very soon."
"Tomorrow?"
Damien turned to me and then I looked away.
Maybe my darling, I promise, soon.
Ethan's face crumpled. "Mommy let's go home now. I don't want this place."
"I know. I know you don't." Damien pulled him into a hug. "But you're going to be okay.Mommy's taking good care of you."
“I want you to do that for me as well.” He said.
"I will. I promise. We'll see each other again."
Ethan didn't want Damien to leave. He wrapped around his neck and started crying silently. I knew he was really disheartened.
Damien held him close to him. I could see his shoulders shaking. He was petting him.
I stood up. "Ethan. We need to go."
“ No Mommy, please ,I want to stay with Daddy.”
"Sweetheart, we talked about this."
Damien pulled back gently. "Hey. Look at me." Ethan looked up, tears streaming down his face. "You need to go with Mommy right now. But I love you so much. You know that, right?"
Ethan nodded as he sobbed.
"Good. That's all that matters. I love you and I'm not going anywhere."
Damien kissed his forehead and stood up. Ethan grabbed his leg immediately, not wanting him to go.
"Ethan." My voice came out sharper than I meant it to. "Let go."
"No."
"Now.", I said. Already wanting him to leave. Everyone started looking at us . A woman who was holding her daughter, stopped while working to look at me. An old man on the next bench looked over.
I bent down and pried Ethan's arms off Damien's leg. He fought me the whole way, kicking and crying.
"I want Daddy! I want Daddy!" He was yearning.
I picked him up. He was getting too serious with this.He kept reaching back toward Damien.
"It's okay," Damien said quietly. His voice was breaking. "It's okay, buddy. I'll see you soon."
Ethan was screaming as we were walking towards the parking lot.
I almost got to my car when I heard footsteps behind me.
"Lara."
I stopped but didn't turn around.
"Please. Give me just five minutes. I'm begging you."
I stood there for a long moment. Ethan was still crying on my shoulder, he buried his face in my neck.
Finally I turned around.
Damien really looked terrible, he was still wearing the clothes from two nights ago. He hair was messy and his face swollen. His look was like someone that hadn't slept at all.
Good for him. He shouldn't sleep, after all what he had done for me.
"You said you wanted to talk," I said. "So I'm all hears."
He glanced at Ethan. "Maybe we should do this alone?"
“I don't have time for that. Anything you want to say, say it and say it here. But if you do not say it here, then it's fine.”
He ran a hand through his hair and took a breath.
"Your father came to me six months before he died. He was sick. And he was afraid of the aftermath after you married Lucas."
"I know all of this, I'm tired of hearing this".
" He wasn't sure of what Lucas would do to you, so he was afraid of what Lucas would do to you after he was gone. He'd seen so many things. The way Lucas looked at you. The way he talked about the company. Your father knew Lucas married you for the business and money, not for love."
I held tighter. He had stopped screaming but he was still parting quietly.
"So he asked me to protect you. To watch out for you and to also make sure Lucas didn't destroy you."
Damien shook his head. "Your father offered money. I never took it."
“I've had enough of your lie. Not again”.
"Honestly,I'm not lying." He pulled out his phone, pulled up something and held it out to me.
It was a bank record.
I shifted Ethan to one hip and took the phone. I scrolled through the transactions.
There was one payment from Richard Montgomery to Damien Otto. Sixty thousand dollars. Labeled "security consultation."
But then another transaction the same day. Sixy housand dollars from Damien Otto to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. Donation.
I looked up at him.
"I didn't want his money," Damien said quietly. " He sent me to donate for the less privileged.
"Why?"
He hesitated.
"”Because your father is a generous man , he had always wanted to help people.”
My stomach dropped.
"What?"
"And then , I think I have told you this before, I have seen you before we met that night. About ten years ago when I came to your father's company . You were at his office building."
I felt sick.
"You were wearing a yellow sundress. You were laughing with the receptionist in the lobby. You were holding a coffee cup and your phone rang and you juggled everything trying to answer it. You dropped your keys."
Oh God.
"I picked them up for you. And you said Thanks. That was it. Thirty seconds. Then you walked away."
I remembered that day. I'd been meeting my father for lunch. I was happy. Lucas and I had only been married a year. Things weren't good but they weren't terrible yet then.
"But I never forgot you," Damien said. "I never forgot your face ever since then. The way you laughed at me and the way you said it like you really meant it."
"So you've been what? Obsessed with me? For how long?"
"No. Not obsessed. I just never forgot you. And then three years later your father showed up at my office with photos of you and Lucas together. Told me about the marriage. About how he was worried. Asked if I could help."
"And you said yes because you remembered me from the money lobby?"
"I said yes because I couldn't stand the thought of someone hurting you."
I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"Do you know how that sounds?" My voice was shaking. "That you've been watching me since before I even knew you existed?"
"I wasn't watching you. I just couldn't say no when your father asked for help. Because it was you."
“Are you saying you were protecting me?
"That's not protection. That's just stalking."
"It's not like that—"
"Then what is it like? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you've been controlling my life from the beginning. Choosing when to save me. Choosing when to tell me the truth. Choosing everything."
"I was trying to keep you safe—"
"Just like Lucas chose for me!" I was yelling now. Ethan lifted his head from my shoulder. "Just like my father chose for me! I'm so tired of men deciding what's best for me without asking me what I want!"
Damien opened his mouth but I kept going.
“So even since we've married. You knew the truth. About everything and you decided not to tell me.”
""Because honestly, I was afraid—"
"How many times did I ask you about that night? About how we met? And you lied to me every time.”
" I didn't know exactly how I will tell you—"
"So you didn't know that for seven years?”
He was unable to give answer to that.
"I was afraid of losing you," he said finally.
“So that's why you lied and now you lost me anyway”.
"So you lied instead. And lost me anyway."
We were still in the parking space. People already left because it was getting darker and the sun was getting lower.
Then Ethan spoke.
"Daddy didn't lie."
We both looked at him.
"He loves us. He's not lying and he won't lie."
My throat felt tight.
"Ethan, —-"
"Mommy now." He was looking right at me. His face was red and wet but his voice was clear. "Daddy loves us. And I'm sure you do too.Why can't we go home?"
I didn't respond to that.
Damien was looking at me maybe I was going to surrender to agree to go with him.
“Ethan”, you know what Mommy knows what she's doing. I said.
But mommy, you said you really like daddy, that should be enough.
"It is. But grown-ups are different. There are other things that matter too."
"I was looking at Damien.He looked back at me.
"I don't have an answer," I said honestly.
Ethan started crying again.
God. This was killing me.
"I need space for days now." I said.
His face went pale.
“I’ll be leaving this place with Ethan to my own apartment. If you want to see Ethan, you will be able to see him two times in a week and it will be supervised visit.
"Supervised?" He looked like I'd slapped him. "You think I'd hurt him?"
"My head went blank. I'm not sure I know you"
"I'm the same person I've always been—"
"No. You're not. The person I thought you were wouldn't have lied to me for years. So I'm not sure I know who you actually are."
Damien just stood there. I watched something break in his face.
"Okay," he said quietly. "Okay. Whatever you need. I'll give you whatever you need."
"Thank you."
"Just please." His voice cracked. "Please don't shut me out forever. Please give me a chance to earn your trust back."
I didn't answer him, didn't give him a response to that. I turned away from him and entered into my car. I put Ethan in his car seat and now he started crying again.
I sat in the driver's seat and looked in the rearview mirror.
Damien was still standing and watching us as we go. He was looking like someone that had been destroyed.
One part of me wanted to get out of the car,run back to him and tell him we could figure this out.
But I didn't.
I started the engine and drove away.
When we got to the hotel, Ethan wouldn't eat.
I ordered room service. Chicken crispy and fries. His favorite.
He didn't touch his food.
"Baby, you need to eat something."
"I'm not hungry."
"You didn't eat lunch either."
He didn't answer me. He just t lay on the bed and faced the wall.
I sat down beside him and put my hand on his back.
He pulled away.
"Ethan—"
"You're the mean one. Not Daddy."
The words hit me like a punch.
"I know you're angry—"
I resent what you did to dad. That makes me hate you."Yes I do. He continued . I hate you. You made Daddy cry. You made me leave home. I hate you."
I wanted to explain to him. To make him understand.
But what could I say? That he was right? That I was being mean?
I got up and went to the bathroom. Closed the door. Sat on the floor.
And cried.
I weeped on my son who thought I was the villain. I cried for Damien standing alone in that parking lot. Tears rolled through my eyes for my father who tried to protect me even after death. I cried for myself and the mess my life had become.
Was I doing the right thing? Or was I just punishing Damien for being human?
For making mistakes. For lying because he was afraid of losing me.
Wasn't that what people did when they loved someone? Made stupid choices. Said the wrong thing. Hurt each other without meaning to.
Or was I right to leave? To demand space. To refuse to accept lies even if they came from love.
I was confused and didn't know what next to do.
I washed my face and went back out. Ethan was now asleep. Atleast he was able to sleep, that was a relief.
I got into the other bed .Around eleven, my phone buzzed.
Text from Margaret.
"Found you an apartment. Three bedroom in the west district. Good security. Close to good schools. Available immediately. Want me to book it?"
I was looking at the message for a long time.
Now it was getting real. The time I'm officially leaving Damien.
My fingers hovered over the screen.
I thought about Damien's face when I drove away. Thought about Ethan crying himself to sleep. Thought about the yellow dress and the lobby scene seven years ago.
Thought about whether love was enough to forgive lies.
Whether trust could be rebuilt.
Whether I was strong enough to try.
I typed back: "Book it."
I sent it immediately.
This is the right choice for me,I told myself.
But it felt like I'd just made the worst mistake of my life.
I put the phone down. Closed my eyes, just to find sleep.
But sleep didn't come.
And didn't sleep at all.
Around three in the morning, I finally slept off.
I dreamed about that night seven years ago. The hotel room. Damien's hands. The way he looked at me like I was something precious.
Had he known who I was that night? Had he planned it?
Or was it really just chance?
I woke up at dawn with tears on my face.
My phone was ringing.
I grabbed it without looking at it.
"Hello?"
"Lara Montgomery?"
"Yes?"
"This is Dr. Chen from Dubem Hospital. We need you at the hospital with immediate effect ."
My heart stopped.
"What? Why? Is someone hurt?"
"It's about Damien Otto. He had an accident.”